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I came back to my father after 8 years of not seeing him, or communicating with him. I felt it was time for me to see my father, to repair a damaged relationship, to put my past with him behind me so I can go on to grow into a better person. This was last summer.
He lived with another woman with whom he had a child, my step brother, and I lived with them for a couple months until, in short, she kicked us out. (She kicked him out, and there was no place for me..). We were rendered homeless for a month or so, living out of a car, until we finally got into another place. Anyway, for all that, I have no real hard feelings...my life has never been easy. I'm the first of four, to a single mom, from Africa, a high school drop out. There were times I couldn't afford to eat, or ate one meal a day, or the same cheap meal for weeks straight because that is all we had. We have been homeless before, I myself have been homeless..that's just how my life goes.
The only problem is, now that we are in a house together...the man won't stop talking to me. I guess it's a clash of personalities..with me, I don't need to be constantly talking. Hell, there are times I've gone weeks without talking to anyone...back when I was living by myself. So, the constant talking...is bothersome. I like to sit in silence and just do my thing. It's not just him..I have friends that are like this; the constant need to talk. I just want to be like "listen, no offense, but could you stop talking to me?". If he weren't my father, I'd tell him just that..as I've told some of my friends who then refer to my as "grouchy". Whatever.
My question is, how do I get people to stop talking to me? To some of us, or maybe just me, talking needlessly is just tiresome.
Just tell him you need a brain break and would rather not talk. I tell it to my kids sometimes when they won't stop talking and I need a bit of silence.
Put headphones on and pretend you can't hear him over the music.
It's pretty normal for people who are living in the same house to have some communication. I think the reason this is a problem for you is because you can't trust your dad to stick around or to provide for you. He let you down in the past and you're just waiting for it to happen again. You don't want to have much to do with him because you don't trust him. So either realize that you're never going to have a relationship with him, and move out so you have your peace and quiet, or try to forgive him for letting you down so badly in the past, and at least be willing to have a few polite conversations with him.
Tell him you are an introvert. Introverts crave silence more than any thing else. Tell him dinner time, or Sat. afternoons or whenever is a good time for you to catch up.
You decide to reestablish a relationship after 8 years and you end up living together? Sounds more like you had no options and were kinda using him.
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Alas, young or old, some things never change. The last time my hubby went to stay a weekend at his fathers, his father followed him into the bathroom, talking to him, and the next day, just barged in while he was using it, yo chat. My hubby is in his 50's!
Humor him the best you can......I mean, he is trying after all,isn't he??
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