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why??? Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. It's probably natural to want to have time to yourselves as newlyweds. But, forever? unless they're toxic, I don't see why
I despise them. No real reason. My dad left when I was 4. Stopped seeing him when I was 10. Saw him 2 year's ago when 26. Dad is superficial and I don't know that side of the family I am good never seeing or knowing them again.
My mom's side all they do is argue. Call each other fat, loosers, lazy, and hold vindictive grudges. If you don't do thing's their way theu stay upset at you. I am tired of that.
I been working through the holiday, I work at a hospital. Mom is upset I haven't seen my grandmother in the hospital since Saturday. She plans to be discharged today. My mom wants me to stop by to her house Wednesday to check in on her, won't be alone though my Aunt will be there off the whole week from work. Should I feel bad and guilty, because I don't, in not seeing her tomorrow? Will probably see her Friday on New Year's.
While those reasons listed by the OP wouldn't be enough to make me cut my family off, I understand that everyone is different. My rule of thumb is to cut out any poison in your life if you are able to. Note, not mild poison like poison ivy, but aggressive poison, the kind you'd find in the venom of a cobra. I'd have no problem cutting off relatives who were the latter kind of poison, and would keep my distance from lighter cases.
If your family does not, on balance, contribute a positive influence on your life, it's perfectly ok to cut them off. Family is a biological accident, and some people draw a bad hand.
My father is not that great of a person, and my mother can be difficult. But overall, I feel a great deal of gratitude to them for the opportunity they provided me, which allowed me to build a life I love.
If they had all of their negative traits and had been largely indifferent parents, I'd have cut them off a long time ago. But they weren't - they honestly put forth a lot of effort in raising me. It still rankles that my mother can't talk about or admit to any of the more damaging aspects of my childhood (my father actually WILL talk about some of the bad stuff, which amazes me), but I've accepted that as her biggest weakness and deal with it accordingly. If you talk to her, my childhood was perfect and I never had a day's hardship, which is not at all true.
A father that abandoned you and a maternal family that constantly insults each other don't sound like very uplifting people to be around. Just accept that your fiancee feels differently about her family and don't try to get her to boycott her own.
If you want to limit your time with your family, you are perfectly within your rights. However, making a big announcement about it and turning it into a siege will probably create just the sort of drama you claim you are trying to avoid.
Be adult. Be civil. Make polite excuses. Maintain your boundaries, but don't go out of your way to make everyone feel bad about it in some sort of look-at-me revenge attempt. With maturity you will accept that others are different, and you will never get them to see your "side." So you find ways to coexist that are respectful.
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