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I know that's your friend OP, but I just avoid people like that. Especially when I'm not a big talker myself. Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip, damn...that annoyed me just typing that.
Trust me, there is a difference in those who have Asperger's Syndrome and the narcissist. The narcissist truly the "Let's talk about me, endlessly." even when a person cues them to change the subject, but a person with Asperger's has certain interests that they love to talk about and don't always recognize social cues to change the subject.
Asperger's an autism spectrum disorder, whereas narcissism is a personality disorder.
In my backround is rude to ask about others. Talking about self is kept like discussion opening when participants are each telling about their views on their turn. Unless they don't want to. It is rude to ask if someone might not want to tell. Also if asks but people who don't want to tell it gets bored too. I had someone I knew for a while that never told answer for what I asked but something that I did not asked. So I stopped asking and he got offend, lol
I then leave it there because if things are that hard, I don't want to see that much effort with not close people.
(and I love discussions where people are competing of their talking turns, everyone shows interest on subject)
Also it is rude to talk about "you" as you would talk about some other person than yourself.
Last edited by soUlwounD; 01-27-2016 at 03:06 AM..
I've spent a lot of time with narcissists and I would like to remind all that the close companion of narcissism is anxiety.
Anxiety followed by obsessive self analysis followed by massive insecurity can make people babble on. If they stop talking, you might respond in a way that will make them think you don't like them, so they keep going. Or, they don't need to hear what you have to say because in their own inner monologue, they already know what you said.
My mom does this, and it's been interesting watching my daughter grow up with a lot of anxiety and insecurity. I can see how my Mom evolved based on certain characteristics and experiences she's had. I've worked hard to help my daughter become more confident and think of others as something other than an audience analyzing her every move.
I've spent a lot of time with narcissists and I would like to remind all that the close companion of narcissism is anxiety.
Anxiety followed by obsessive self analysis followed by massive insecurity can make people babble on. If they stop talking, you might respond in a way that will make them think you don't like them, so they keep going. Or, they don't need to hear what you have to say because in their own inner monologue, they already know what you said.
My mom does this, and it's been interesting watching my daughter grow up with a lot of anxiety and insecurity. I can see how my Mom evolved based on certain characteristics and experiences she's had. I've worked hard to help my daughter become more confident and think of others as something other than an audience analyzing her every move.
You are so right about this. I said this earlier:
Quote:
Sometimes it's almost pitiful. These frantic, hyperactive, breathless people who monopolize conversations are often so frazzled and distracted that it's pretty easy to see the chaos in their heads.
I honestly feel sorry for people who behave like this. Now - that doesn't make me LIKE their behavior any better - but it does give me some perspective.
I teach a class and last semester one of my students was so much like this that I could see how disruptive she could be if we didn't all get right on this (there are several instructors throughout the day). The instructors got together and decided to just immediately call her hand on it - in a gentle but firm way - once in private but if she didn't rein it in, then just stop class and address it immediately.
It took a couple of times of basically public humiliation, but she did manage to SHUT HER MOUTH within a few classes. She actually seemed much calmer, happier, and got a lot more out of the classes and the experience once she was nearly forced to just be quiet. She actually excelled in the classes once she could manage to just quit talking about herself.
My mother's boyfriend is like that. Can't. Get. A Word. In. Edgewise.
No matter what people are talking about, he's going to burst into the conversation with some long stemwinder only tangentially related to the topic at hand, ending up babbling about his days in the Air Force or the whatnot.
Well, all this guy needed to do was to hear the magical words "Wood Chipper" and it was off to the races. This guy talks off-the-cuff on wood chippers for the next 35 minutes (I know this to be objective fact, because my mother's kitchen clock was behind him. Watching the second hand traverse the dial was much more interesting). He went into detail about how wood chippers were made, when he'd used them, and a host of other assorted facts about the damned things. It got to the point where I wondered if I could get away with shoving him into one. Just kidding. Sort of.
People like the OP mentions don't understand the art of conversation. When talking to someone, you listen as much as you talk. But those people aren't looking for a conversation. They just want an audience.
LOL. I'm surprised your mother is still with him. Of course there are a lot worse character defects than talking about yourself all the time, but it can make for a very lonely relationship. How can you effectively communicate with your spouse/lover if you can't talk to them? Or even if you can talk to them, they aren't really listening, they are preparing to verbally mow over your thoughts with their response or next story.
I was reading up on these nonstop talkers and professional suggest that many of them are lonely and have few social supports, in which the constant talking is somewhat understandable. If the person doesn't have anyone to talk to, one they finds someone, they're a dam that bursts because finally there is a person who might listen. That isn't the case with my friend. She has one of the strongest social support networks I have ever heard of. She is very close to her parents, her kids, her two siblings, husband, and of course she has our group and all her family and friends live in the same town.
If you can have conversations with others and it doesn't turn into a whole multi-hour hostage situation where you are listening to her and no one there can get a word in edgewise then it's worth going to enjoy the people who are there. But if you do feel like you're a hostage with a desire to run away screaming, then that's the sign it's time to move on.
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Originally Posted by picklejuice
They're everywhere! They're everywhere!!!
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Originally Posted by Rakin
Enough about me, let's talk about you.
How do you feel about me?
Bette Midler
Yes indeed, the conversational narcissists. Quit participating several years ago.
I wish people would spell it out the first time they use it. Then later in the post they can resort to the abbreviation or acronym.
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