Last minute, exclusive destination wedding. (spouse, husband, siblings, member)

[MissTerri]

My brother in law and his fiancé decided at the last minute that they are getting married half way across the country next month and the only people who are invited are immediate family, their definition being parents and siblings (no spouses or kids). My husband declined the invitation mainly because he felt that it was sort of a non-invite, invite based on the wording, "you can come but space is very limited....". the short notice, and it being out of town. It's not like we have extra funds sitting around for airfare, car rental, hotel, etc. for a last minute wedding. He is now getting some flack from certain members of the family for not going. Apparently no one else thinks this is weird, or at least they won't admit it if they do.


Curious what others think. Would you go?

[BirdieBelle]

Is it your husband's brother?

Is it their first marriage?

[lunetunelover]

I wouldn't go for the same reasons you listed for not wanting to go.


However, having done kinda the same thing wedding wise (although I didn't invite/not invite anyone, I knew no one would be able to go) your brother in law should not be offended or surprised by the responses he gets.

[Zeurich]

Wedding with out spouses and kids?

[BostonMike7]

I wouldn't go for same reasons.


Short notice means expenses will be higher, plus the rest of my fam cannot come, so it's a burden for my partner to remain here alone with the kids while I go to a party...especially with short notice.




The reason I'd give it simple "too short notice, can't make it".


It's just a wedding anyway. Not a big deal to me

[silibran]

I don't know if it is as much weird as it is inconvenient. The wording on the invitation was weird though. No, I wouldn't go, unless I was close with my sibling and absolutely didn't want to miss the wedding. I don't know how your husband feels about this, so I think his feelings have to be considered.

I do think it is his choice--to go or not to go. His family's pressure might be too much for him to withstand. My advice to you--stay out of it.

[BirdieBelle]

I would not go.

It doesn't sound like they're being very welcoming from the get-go, and if you can't afford it, it's a no-brainer.

[JustJulia]

Probably not. All the reasons given so far are sensible. Destination weddings are usually a huge expense and inconvenience to guests, so your brother-in-law really shouldn't be surprised that your husband can't drop everything and attend. If they live reasonably close, I'd probably offer to throw them a party when they were back in town, but not if they're being jerks.

[ultraviolet3]

To exclude spouses is simply rude. I would not go, my reason being that it's simply too short notice and that my spouse and I attend events like this together. If they are offended that you won't be in attendance, that's their problem. Had they given ample notice and been more inclusive of the guest list, perhaps more people would be willing to attend.

[Texas Ag 93]

Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life

I would not go.

It doesn't sound like they're being very welcoming from the get-go, and if you can't afford it, it's a no-brainer.

Agree with the above and everyone else's answers. A spouse of an immediate family member is immediate family. Your husband is right, this is essentially a non invite from his perspective.