Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If a person dropped in on me yesterday, they would have seen a lot of toplessness... more than they'd really want or need to see, I suppose. They'd have thought, "Gee, I wasn't expecting THAT. I wish I would have called first."
I was searching for my lost bra. How does a person lose a bra, you ask? Well, it's actually pretty easy for me. Do it all the time!
We have a house that is not an easy-to-drop-in place. The lake is on one side, so I suppose you could come by boat and surprise me. But the other side has no door other than the garage doors. You have to REALLY search out the entrance to this place. It's kinda weird, actually, and if I were a person who loved drop ins, it would kind of bite. But I'm an asocial braless hermit, so it works out.
My cell phone is for MY convenience. No one else's. I have no obligation to answer it or even be in the same room with it. It's not an ankle monitor, leash, or ball and chain. It's a tool for convenience.
Amen! If I call or send, even my lady, a VM or text, and she doesnt reply right away, I know she's busy. She's the same with me, the same courtesy is extended to everyone. If its an emergency, better be a real one, I might request an ASAP, with an explation. Otherwise, it can keep. And I NEVER blow so.zones phone up with more inquiry. I have a friend who does this, and it drives me buggy.
My lady and I were in the midst of doing some important papers, and the guy called four times in five minutes plus sent two texts. I had even told him the day prior I was going to be busy with my gal, and wouldn't be answering calls. I just shut the phone off, and my lady was as irritated as me. She was at the point of answering it herself and telling him to go away. She wouldn't have been gentle about it either..
When we are alone together, not expecting company or interupptions, getting disturbed better mean someone has died or is hurt bad. As you say, a cell phone is not a leash. If we aren't answering, catch a clue. We want to be left alone. A d don't just come bopping by either. It won't be a warm welcome.
The only person I am accountable to is my dh. He will only call me when I am busy (out with a girl friend, etc) in an emergency. So if I see that he is calling me then, I answer the phone. Or at least check his message as soon as possible.
Anyone else - if they call and I can't answer, I only tell them that I am away from the phone. My phone message does not tell them why I can't answer/what I am doing, etc. It's nobody's business. I'll get back to my friend when I have time.
If a friend is broken down by the side of the road, then they should call AAA/roadside service. They are paid to be on call. I am not.
If I have a friend/family member that stops by my house unexpectedly, of course I am gracious to them. But I also suggest that next time they call first...a few weeks ago a neighbor stopped by unexpectedly on neighborhood business - I serve as a volunteer in my neighborhood. Of course I helped him, but also told him about our garage door (if it's open, then I am open for business). He was fine with that. I am a volunteer, yes, and I happily serve in multiple capacities in my neighborhood. But I still need time "off" and people do understand and respect that.
As far as I'm concerned, the only time a friend should call you back immediately is if you call in regards to an urgent situation ("I'm stranded on the side of the road, can you come get me?"), or if it's time-sensitive ("Hey, I've got a chance for front-row seats to our favorite band but I have to buy them in the next ten minutes, you wanna go?") Calls to just chat can wait. There's such a thing as not exhausting your friends with your constant demands for attention.
Yes, yes, and yes.
If it's time sensitive, you are even better off texting. I can (and will) glance at a text quickly, and then determine if it needs a quick response, a later response, or no response. However, if someone calls and leaves a voice mail message, I very, very likely will not even retrieve it until hours later (I never retrieve personal voice mail messages at work).
I agree with you both ^^ except remember that not everyone has texting. DH and I started using it only recently.
Yeah, a friend of mine doesn't have it, which surprised me--I'm usually the last one to be up on new technologies and stuff (ironically, I work in telecom), so I tend to presume if *I* have it, everybody else had it a long time ago!
However, if someone calls and leaves a voice mail message, I very, very likely will not even retrieve it until hours later (I never retrieve personal voice mail messages at work).
A lot of people, too, don't ever listen to voicemail messages. My mom always leaves lengthy messages and I generally just see her as a missed call and call her back without ever listening to her message. If I call someone and they don't pick up, I'll most likely just text them a short version of what I wanted to say rather than leave a voicemail.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 04-08-2016 at 11:01 AM..
When I was a kid, I didn't mind if a friend came to the door and wanted to visit with me or wanted me to go do something with her. When I was in college and living in the dorm, dropping in didn't bother me as I kept the door to my room unlocked when I was there and if anyone knocked on the door, I would answer with "come in". Of course there were exceptions such as if I was in the middle of getting dressed---the door would be locked then.
Once I became an adult and out on my own, my views changed. I didn't like anyone dropping in on me. Nor would I ever just show up at someone's house and expect to get invited inside. I think it's rude to just show up at someone's door and expect to be invited in. The reason my views changed once on my own were due to the fact that I was working full-time. After work, I would want to relax or had errands to do. If I wanted to visit a friend or relative, I would call to make arrangements to either invite them to my place or go to their place.
I know that there are people who don't mind if anyone drops in on them and if that works for them, that's fine. However, not everybody feels the same way and I think that those who welcome drop-ins sometimes don't realize that others don't think like them.
Your comments exactly ! When I was in college and for a few years after, I didn't understand why dropping in would be a problem. Once I got a few more years under my belt, and life really started.....than I understood very well :-)
A lot of people, too, don't ever listen to voicemail messages. My mom always leaves lengthy messages and I generally just see her as a missed call and call her back without ever listening to her message. If I call someone and they don't pick up, I'll most likely just text them a short version of what I wanted to say.
I am the same way with my dad. He will leave a message something like this:
Quote:
Hello, it's your dad calling. Nothing important, so no need to call back. In fact, I'm just heading out for [activity 1] until x time, and then I'm going to catch a bite with [those people]. Then I've got [activity 2].
When I eventually DO catch him, he'll say something like, "Just heard a news report that a snow storm is predicted."
We do talk about once a week.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. 
