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Keep it light and don't get too personal. No reason to make a big thing about not wanting to be friends anymore. It will probably run it's course and you two will go your separate ways in due course without having to say anything mean to one another.
I've had friendships like this and believe me, it's better to not say anything and just move on. You may feel guilty if you say something mean and there is no need for that.
I agree with luckygirl 100%
No need to hurt anyones feelings.
Exactly, how much effort does it take to send a quick email?
And the OP sounds "put out" that this person got concerned when she didn't hear from the OP. Well things do happen to people. What was she supposed to think? All of a sudden you don't hear from someone you are going to wonder are they OK?
Yet when my mom died and I was so alone and offered to fly her down, she couldn't find a spare weekend. Emails are easy. It's being there when someone really is in dire straits that is the hard part.
[quote=vrexy;43788033]I agree that there is no reason to make a big deal about not wanting to be friends, but I would tell her upfront that you think the friendship has run its course and that you no longer want to stay in contact with her. No need to feel guilty about saying something mean! There's no reason to be mean at all. You can just be honest, and still remain pleasant. Also, as others have said, there is nothing wrong with spacing out your communications with someone and letting the friendship die a natural death. My advice in this particular instance though, is to tell her upfront.
The reason I think you should tell her upfront is because you mentioned that she was worried about you when she hadn't heard from you and was wishing that she had a phone number of a relative so that she could make sure you were okay. She sounds like the type of person who would be very hurt and confused about you slowly dropping her and she has no idea why. She's probably also going to be hurt when you tell her upfront, but at least she will know and understand what's going on.
At the same time, I am curious about why you feel like you need to end the friendship. Is it all that hard to communicate with her and just not interact all that often? I don't understand when people do this and can't maintain a civil, but distant relationship with another person. You don't have to make time to chit-chat on the phone or anything, but what's wrong with just saying that you don't feel like talking and get off of the phone?[/QUOTE]
Nothing "happened". Haven't you ever had friendships that just ran their course?
We are very different people with very different lives. Not to sound cold, but I have no interest in hearing about her couples dinner parties, weddings, new babies, the raise she just got (she makes twice my salary), or how I haven't "made enough effort" to get over my mother's death. She is very judgmental. And yes, I get jeleous of her perfect life, as horrible as that sounds. I am single, in poor health, struggling with depression, in and out of jobs and I just think I need to be around people who maybe can understand what I am going through right now. Or not be around anyone
So no one has done anything wrong and we did not have an argument.
Eeko156, in the last 2 yrs, I too, have become pals w/ people I've never met & will never meet. I don't consider them friends, maybe pals at the most & that's a stretch & we talk about non-work stuff. There's 2-3 people I'll talk w/ very occasionally by phone & another 1 or 2 people via email only.
It's easy to end the contact. If you don't want to stop cold turkey, like another poster said, just space out the contact more & more until you no longer contact them. This will take 2-3 last contacts at the least, so it won't look like you're totally dropping the person.
Eeko156, in the last 2 yrs, I too, have become pals w/ people I've never met & will never meet. I don't consider them friends, maybe pals at the most & that's a stretch & we talk about non-work stuff. There's 2-3 people I'll talk w/ very occasionally by phone & another 1 or 2 people via email only.
It's easy to end the contact. If you don't want to stop cold turkey, like another poster said, just space out the contact more & more until you no longer contact them. This will take 2-3 last contacts at the least, so it won't look like you're totally dropping the person.
I think this would be best. When I tried not responding, she just got worried. Then when she sent the kitten e-card about missing me, she said, "if you no longer want to talk to me, just let me know". However, I couldn't bring myself to say that, and muttered something about being busy.
But you are right - she is an acquaintance, nothing more.
What?
I never said anything was written about that; I never even said that everyone should feel the same.
I DID say "I would not even consider someone I never met a friend." That is my personal opinion... not some universal rule.
Friends to me (stressing that so there is no confusion!) are people who if you call them asking them to come, they come. The rest are acquaintances.
YMMV.
You have it 100% correct! A true friend is someone in your life! A cyber friend you never even met IRL? People get real! Sheesh!
Then quit her. Seriously, you don't have to feel bad about it. You are the master of your universe, and if someone is bringing you down, end it.
I agree with this statement.
Don't feel bad for wanting to end a friendship that doesn't make u feel good. Whatever the reason. If it's not good for you then end it. Plain and simple
Have you checked our her life on, say, fb? Maybe her life isn't as great as you think it is.
Imo, she may be great long distance. Someone who looks good on paper. Happy, upbeat, life in order. (Although wishing she had your neighbor's number to contact to see if you were okay could be scarey.)
Yet, talk about death and her being three dimensional in your life (visiting you).....she's not so good on that.
I actually had a similar situation but a much more brief time period and only on a message board. I wasn't on for a few days and didn't respond to this person who had an instant friendship with me and they were very very upset. Because of the situation I was able to say thanks all, had all my questions answered, all the very best.
Just from my distant point of view I wonder about something. Coming on fast and hard and wanting to know about you even to the thought of contacting others about you. That can go beyond sweet and friendly to actually controlling.
But not wanting to be physically real ...or not able to be...hmmm.
Is this person who she says she is, do you know for sure? Do you feel the person is sort of stalking? Maybe the woman isn't for real. Controlling but for some reason not really able to every follow through on the friendship to actually see you face to face.
She hasn't asked you for money, has she?
Are you sure this person is a woman?
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