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I"m really shocked because I guess I just always assumed that if you are with someone in person that they deserve your time and attention more than someone on text. Do y'all agree?
Why are you shocked? You should have turned the phone off if you think your gf deserved your time and attention. It is very rude not to turn the phone off for any private encounter with anyone who you need to pay attention to.
1. Find the Owners Manual for your phone.
2. READ IT!
3. Learn where the OFF button is.
4. When you are with somebody, and don't want to be disturbed, turn the (expletive deleted) phone OFF!
5. Problem solved!
I know this might totally rock your world and freak you out, but how about turning off your cell phone while you're with someone in person?
There are so many idiots in the movie theater that don't understand that concept and pay good money to stare at a tiny screen vs something bigger and better.
Face to face conversation should be the priority, not that tiny screen that seems to seduce good people into becoming socially retarded morons with the attention span of gnats.
If John and I are out to dinner together I do NOT answer texts and phone calls. Most of the time my phone isn't even with me. I like to live in the moment, especially at the movies. That seems to be the sad exception to a whole bunch of technology addicted people. Sad.
Milennials and texting seem to get a bad wrap on these boards, but I'm not sure it's entirely justified. Texting itself is not inherently bad. The issue the OP described isn't due to texting. It's due to poor communication.
If you unable to communicate with someone fully at a given time, then either a) let them know "Hey, busy now...call you later!" or b) just don't respond or even acknowledge your phone.
Assuming there are no other underlying relationship problems, a rational person would take either of the two responses above as "Hey - he's busy! He'll reach out when he can".
By actually engaging (poorly) in a conversation, you indicate to the other person that you ARE available. They're not able to see that you're really NOT...all they know is that your responses seem odd to them.
Again, assuming that there is no other issues, I don't think this is a melt-down-inducing, not-on-speaking terms type of offense...just a minor annoyance that could easily be explained/forgotten.
A very good friend of mine got upset at me last weekend for texting her short, one word responses when I was spending time with my girlfriend. She didn't know I was with anyone and texted "your answers are weirding me out' so I texted back saying "I'm sorry, it's just that I'm with my girlfriend now and didn't want to be rude".. she responded with "so you are being rude to me instead?" and was actually really upset and offended. I"m really shocked because I guess I just always assumed that if you are with someone in person that they deserve your time and attention more than someone on text. Do y'all agree?
I think you should have sent a text saying "I'm with someone right now, will get back to you later" and then TURNED OFF the phone.
If I'm with someone and they can't ignore their phone, that's a deal breaker. My rule is that no technology allowed on dates, romantic or otherwise. Anone who knows me, knows that.
You should be worried about your girlfriend's reaction, not that other person.
So why wait until she got weirded out before you told her you were with your girlfriend?
Makes no sense - and seems a bit cruel - to string her along like that....
I agree with this. Not wrong to devote your attention to someone you're actually with.
But if you receive a text, tell your gf you just need to reply to say you can't talk. Then tell your friend, "I can't talk now, I have company / I'm with my gf", then turn your phone off afterwards. That took a few sec. Now everyone can go about their business, uninterrupted.
And that eliminates this issue.
So yeah, it was rude of you to just send half-assed one-word answers before you told her that. And rude to your gf, because even with sending those texts, you still were not giving her your full attention.
Last edited by HappyRain; 05-21-2016 at 04:51 PM..
The problem here is that the OP didn't tell his friend right away that he was with his girlfriend and was not available to have a conversation right then. Instead of telling her that, he gave her one word answers and never once let on that he was busy. Like he just expected her to go away.
And secondly he wasn't giving his girlfriend his full attention which is also rude. The vibe I'm getting here is that his female friend doesn't like the girlfriend and her was afraid to tell her that he was with her.
The girlfriend probably thinks it is normal. Young people today(I know older people can also be glued to their phones, but younger ones are the worst) can't seem to put the phone down.
I was in Target yesterday and one of their workers on one of those machines they unload stock with was on his phone(hey don't run over a customer), went to the movies and both the ticket taker and the three candy counter people(all young) were on their phones. Teens are now sleep deprived because they sleep with their phones on texting back and forth all night "what r u doing"....sigh. The dumbing down of America continues.
I'm with you.
Just to share an experience with a checker at Walmart a few years ago. First, I observed that she had begun ringing up items of mine with the prior customer's order, though separated, then told them they could go to "Customer Service" for a refund! As she began ringing up my order, I noticed she was quietly mumbling, while looking down scanning items. As I watched.. I asked her if she was on the phone (with an earpiece). She had not acknowledged me and as I focused on preparing to pay, she again began ringing an up item from the following shopper with mine! She told me too, I could "go to customer service for a refund".
I was appalled, immediately asking for a manager, being directed to one by another employee. This manager listened, took me and my stuff to another register, redoing my transaction and repeatedly apologized for the checker. No telling what happened with those in line after me - or if this absurd employee remained - but this was an odd experience, due to this obsession (and poor judgement by the employee). If one has difficulty being focused upon something like this, they certainly should not be doing anything more serious while on a phone.
I have to say, it is surprising how in general, people refer to being online and using their phones at work. I recall how in the workplace, distractions were to be limited and were to conduct personal business on our own time.
A very good friend of mine got upset at me last weekend for texting her short, one word responses when I was spending time with my girlfriend. She didn't know I was with anyone and texted "your answers are weirding me out' so I texted back saying "I'm sorry, it's just that I'm with my girlfriend now and didn't want to be rude".. she responded with "so you are being rude to me instead?" and was actually really upset and offended. I"m really shocked because I guess I just always assumed that if you are with someone in person that they deserve your time and attention more than someone on text. Do y'all agree?
100000000% agree and the person you were texting would have got a two word text from me after they said that
Tell them to grow up
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