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Well I agree that they made a poor decision of getting the right contractor and I know they will get some guy to do it really cheap because they know the guy. But do they realize that this contractor can do a crappy job???
They need to realize of the money they lost and now the money and work that will take to make the job done right???
Listen to me.
You claim to care about your parents. If you want to maintain a HEALTHY relationship with them, you want to establish BOUNDARIES, not throw grenades.
Telling them something bad about THEIR house is not establishing healthy boundaries. It's revenge. It's cheap. It's not good.
"Establishing boundaries" means taking the high road when THEY act like children and reminding them that you are not going to talk to them about the house if they continue to make insults. You are glad to talk to them about other things, but if they start insulting your house again, you will have to go.
Stop behaving like a vengeful child and start acting like a mature grown up.
Now I have something to remind my folks of. They had issues whenever it rained hard there would be water constantly coming into the basement . And they had a contractor come out last year to fix the hole where the rain was coming in. And the contractor they used was a sleeze he did the job button you can never get a hold of him to do additional work. He basically took a lot lot money from my folks and ran off and never heard from. It rained really hard again and water came into the basement . The root cause is because there is a window that is sealed up behind drywall and the drywall has to be cut and then fixed and then redry wall and paint. This is going to cost them big money to fix and yet here goes my folks complaining about my house needing work and my house structure is good. I had the home inspector look at it and s contractor who did some work in my place and I live up a hill and I shouldn't have any leaking going into my building. Do I have good ammunition to now use that I can remind them out the crap job the contractor did in their basement next time they complain about my house???
This has nothing to do with my post. You completely ignored what I said.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reds37win
It's amazing how there are now 19 pages in this thread advising you and yet you have managed to ignore them all.
Essentially, it comes down to this:
You are too attached to your parents, particularly your mother. This doesn't mean you should cut them off, but they should not determine your level of happiness, as you are doing now.
A mature person is not worried about playing childish games to get back at someone else. You should only concern yourself with things within your control.
You need to establish your own life, with your own friends who have NOTHING to do with your parents or their friends.
If you were following the advice given, you would have heard everyone essentially shouting for you to grow up and worry about yourself, not what everyone else thinks of you. Yes, we all like to be appreciated, but you can't live your live waiting for the next person to tell you how special you are and how you have absolutely made the right choices.
You also can't be afraid to fail. It doesn't make you less of a person, it simply means you took a risk and it didn't work out the way you expected. You then learn how to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.
We've all made mistakes. All of us. Every person alive. The choices are ours to make and the failures or successes are ours to enjoy. Stop relying on your parents approval and you'll end up happier with the decisions you make.
Yes, this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ernestntub
Well they failed with the basement so that doesn't give them the right to insult someone else.? They will really open their eyes when they find out how much time and money will be spent to fix the basement
It is not about the basement. It is not about the house. It is about you behaving like an overly attached child instead of an adult. Grow. Up.
It's very clear why the OP has problems with his parents. They raised a son in whom they instilled no sense of boundaries. This is perfect for them because they never had to worry about raising an adult with a separate sense of identity. Instead, they can maintain the same control over him that they had when he was a young child.
Are you their baby, or are you an independent man/woman who runs their own life?
Your mother is being a complete fruitcake about this entire business and needs to get over it. Either she will or she won't. I'm betting she will. But you are feeding her drama-queen tendencies by allowing her over-the-top reaction to affect you and your delight with your new home.
People (including your parents) treat you the way you allow them to treat you. You are allowing them to treat you as if you were a somewhat dim 10-year-old. Personally, that would seriously annoy me. But you are crying? WTH? Why she acts the way she does is her problem. Stop putting your dad in the middle of this. Have nice conversations with your dad, and if your mom wants to pout, let her -- just like a 4 year old with a tantrum.
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