Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have two kids under 4 and find I socialize a lot less in general. This is partially due to time, as free time is a lot harder to come by. It is also due to exhaustion. When I finally do get a chance to unwind on Saturday night I'm completely exhausted and just want to sit on the couch and have a few beers in front of the tv.
.
And here's the other thing.
Everyone (kids or no kids) wants to spend their leisure/social time going out.
It's always about going out. ESPECIALLY the people who don't have kids.
I don't want to go out anymore. Unless it's for something specific (a VERRRRY special concert, a highly anticipated movie - not just any movie, try a new restaurant in particular, my favorite theater company is putting on a play, etc). It's very, very not often.
I spent my 20s and some 30s going out. In cities all over the world. I've been served steaks by drag queens in New York City. I've done clams and lobsters on the beach in Maine. I've hit the clubs of Paris and Moscow. I've pub-crawled through pool halls in Germany. I've ridden elephants in Thailand. I've vomited my way through Italy looking for good food and avoiding being hit on by Italian men.
I've been to plays, musicals, Broadway shows, small theater shows, Shakespeare in the park, every kind of restaurant you can imagine, private concerts, big concerts, baseball games, football games, basketball games, college games, pro games, minor league games, championship games...I've sat in the nosebleed and I've sat in the best boxes/suites where someone has carved prime rib for me, I've eaten in ambassadorial mansions and I've eaten street food from a vendor in India...
I'm over efffin' going to freakin' Applebee's (or whatever, I've never actually been to Applebee's) or or a bar. I like my house. I like having people over or going to their house and just enjoying THEM. I like home cooking. I like putting the game on tv, playing pool, and drinking beer with my chums. I'm done with crowds. I'm done with standing in line.
So my not hanging out with you, single/childless friend, may just be because I'm over meeting at the Cheesecake factory for brunch. How about we meet on the courts to play tennis? Or come over and I'll make you something delicious.
I have really nice furniture that people aren't allowed to put their feet on....no shoes on my sofa or coffee table....actually shoes aren't allowed in my house. No jumping on my furniture. No running around my house....it's not a gym or a playground.
Ummm... same rules in our house, as we raised ours and had dozens and dozens of their friends filter in and out over the years.
You have a low opinion of children and their behavior!
If you brought kids to my house, it would be a nightmare for all of us. My house is far from child proof.....breakables all over. I have really nice furniture that people aren't allowed to put their feet on....no shoes on my sofa or coffee table....actually shoes aren't allowed in my house. No jumping on my furniture. No running around my house....
Yeeeeeaaah.
All the same rules at our house.
And we didn't bother babyproofing.
4 and 2 year old.
And no shoes.
If you brought kids to my house, it would be a nightmare for all of us. My house is far from child proof.....breakables all over. I have really nice furniture that people aren't allowed to put their feet on....no shoes on my sofa or coffee table....actually shoes aren't allowed in my house. No jumping on my furniture. No running around my house....it's not a gym or a playground. I also have absolutely noting for children to play with. I mean they could play with sticks in the backyard, but something tells me that wouldn't go over well and it could be a disaster with a doctor's visit. We don't even have a game system and don't give out our wifi password so we're a party for young adults and teens.
LOL Kids aren't little sticky Tasmanian devils. I can promise you my kids wouldn't jump on your couch or do anything...they would get bored though. More about not having other kids to play with then the lack of toys.
I have two kids under 4 and find I socialize a lot less in general. This is partially due to time, as free time is a lot harder to come by. It is also due to exhaustion. When I finally do get a chance to unwind on Saturday night I'm completely exhausted and just want to sit on the couch and have a few beers in front of the tv.
I'm sure once our kids are a bit older we will find more time for friends again.
Uh, yep, sure. Unless by a bit you mean college. You still have to get through soccer, Little League, band, scouts, school sports, plays, etc etc etc. That's the real reason so many parents aren't socializing with anyone that also isn't a parent; they're too busy running a taxi service between practices for the various kids, which are never in the same place at the same time. And trading off kid-miles with other parents for which one is driving the girls to the soccer tournament while you're taking the boys to the ball game.
I'm assuming we are talking about young, at home children. We don't hang out much with folks with children because we don't do things that cater to children. Parents are all about the children. Nothing wrong with that but that's not our reality. We rather hang out with adults and do adult activities.
Some people are more comfortable sticking with those who are like themselves in terms of culture and/or status (including kids vs no kids, or only connecting with other married folks, etc.). It's tribalism. And it's nothing new; it's been around for millennia. Perhaps it's easier for them to relate to such types.
However, I'd also point out that in many suburban and rural (esp. socially conservative and/or religious) areas of the country, most adults between the ages of 25 and 45 are married and have young kids. So for them, doing the vast majority of their non-family socializing with others w/ kids kinda comes with the territory.
That said...millions of other people are more inclusive and open-minded...thus they have friends and acquaintances from many various cultures, diverse statuses, ideologies and so on.
Ummm... same rules in our house, as we raised ours and had dozens and dozens of their friends filter in and out over the years.
You have a low opinion of children and their behavior!
You haven't met my aunt and her 7 very rowdy children! Several family members don't allow them at their home because they are not supervised at all and are allowed to do whatever they want. They don't sit on furniture. They literally jump on it or climb all over it. No thanks! Not everyone has well behaved children.
LOL Kids aren't little sticky Tasmanian devils. I can promise you my kids wouldn't jump on your couch or do anything...they would get bored though. More about not having other kids to play with then the lack of toys.
Those are your kids. Not everyone has well behaved kids. There have ben plenty of Tasmanian devils - as you put it - in my family and my husband's family. And what you call well behaved isn't going to be the same as me.
One time my mother was babysitting the kids form next door and they started jumping on our couch. My mother told them to stop and get off the furniture. They refused and started screaming that they could do this at home. She got into a screaming match with them. She never watched them again and would not help their family with anything. They were HORRIBLE children.....Willie Wonka didn't even have special snowflakes like these.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
