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My friend recently graduated from college. His parents throw a big party in their house and invited their relatives and coworkers. My friend invited around 6 people, all around our age (22). It was very much like a high school graduation party. The party was supposed to last from 5-8 and the relatives/coworkers adhered to that schedule. Most of the graduates friends arrived 7, and were planning to drink well into the night (on a Sunday). Even more bizarre was that the graduate/my friend and the friends the graduate invited all hung out in the basement away from the graduate's relatives and the graduate's father co workers. In fact when it was time to cut the graduation cake, I was the only friend of the graduate present. the rest were hiding in the basement. This was very typical of a high school graduation party, but I found it immature for a college graduation party. These relatives and friends just gave the graduate hundreds of dollars, and hiding away is a poor way to repay them. My friend also got angry that I left at 9, but unlike him and his friends, I have a real job that I can't arrive late or hungover to. None of my other friends had their parents throw them graduation parties for graduation college. Most of my friends were off moving into new apartments in new cities right after college. I found the whole party awkward to be honest. I've been a self supporting, working adult for a year now. It felt weird to hide away from adults like I did when I was 16. I even find having my parents throw a party in my honor to be awkward. College graduation is the point of adulthood.
If your parents want to throw you a party, it is partially out of pride in your accomplishment.
I am helping my children through college. When they graduate, I will throw a party. After HS graduation, we went out to dinner at a nice restaurant. They each had backyard parties with their friends on another night.
Yes. College graduation is a big deal for the entire family. Parents who have invested a lot, financially and emotionally deserve to celebrate with both their friends, and their children and their friends and relatives.
I really can't comment about your friend's graduation party, as I have no idea what actually happened.
Also, why are you so upset over this?
College graduation is a huge milestone, and it certainly in a milestone towards adulthood. What is immature about celebrating any milestone in life with your parents?
My parents gave me a large, mixed generational party, when I received my undergraduate degree. It's a day I will never forget.
It's great that the friend's parents threw a party after his graduation from college. I do agree that it was a bit backward for the grad and his friends to spend most of their time hanging out separately in the basement. It does sound more like something adolescents do.
Frankly, I recently went to quite a few high school graduation parties, and the kids hung out in the yard along with everyone else, and the guest of honor interacted (and thanked) their adult guests. As would be expected, they spent the majority of their time with their friends.
Some people just mature earlier than their friends. It sounds to me that the OP is annoyed at the adolescent-like behavior of her friends. She is in a different place in life and dealing with more responsibilities and pressure. It's understandable to be annoyed...and perhaps a bit envious that they are being allowed to extend their childhoods. Sounds like perhaps they have less responsibilities and are allowed to get away with it.
People tend to catch up in terms of maturity, but it can take a while for some.
There is nothing unusual about parents throwing a college graduation party...it is something to celebrate...and I don't know anyone who hasn't celebrated in one way or another (whether it's an actual party, luncheon or dinner, or whatever made it special for them). However, it appears there were really two parties going on – the one upstairs for adults/relatives/coworkers that ended at 8 and the one downstairs for the college graduate and his friend, in which guests began to arrive at 7. I don't find anything usual about that and I don't know why it bothers you so much. You don't seem to like your friend very much...referring to the younger guests as "hiding in the basement" which in fact that was where the young people were having their party.
And your job status has nothing to do with this.
A separate party would have it's own invite, start time, etc don't you think?
He isn't wrong. The graduate is moving to Japan to teach English and run tours for hostel residents because he doesn't want a real job.
Sorry to break it to you, but teaching English to non-English speaking students (and in a foreign country) is a job. And good for the graduate, not only is he working, but will have adventures living in a foreign country. You’re trying to make him out to be a looser, but you’re failing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345
A separate party would have it's own invite, start time, etc don't you think?
And how would you know that there wasn’t a separate set of invites sent to the graduates friends, who all happened to arrive at 7, not a 5 with the other guests. You don’t know.
... The graduate is moving to Japan to teach English and run tours for hostel residents because he doesn't want a real job.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsa
OP, you need to lighten up, or you will find yourself alone a lot, because no one likes a braggart, which you seem to be.
Teaching in Japan IS a real job, as real as your job. Your friend is becoming well-rounded and will be getting awesome experiences.
Frankly, someone who is moving to a different, far away country, where the entire culture and language is new, probably will have to face far more hurdles and will need far more skills than you need at your job. To say that he is doing that because he does not want a "real job" is absolutely ridiculous.
Every aspect of his day to day life, from finding housing, to buying food & necessities, to interacting with people in the community will be a huge challenge because of the different language. I know that some, in fact many, people wouldn't last a month if they had to move to a new country for their job. Frankly, I bet that you would be one of those people that would be running back to Mom & Dad and an English speaking country within days or weeks.
Mine gave a really big party.
Tons of people. My friends, relatives from other states, family friends, old people, young people...even a few people I didn't know. I didn't expect it to be like that, but there was tons of food and I wound up with a pile of presents (I still use some of them 18 years later!) I never expected. Heck, my dentist came.
It was an accomplishment for me, but for them, too. More so than high school bc the minimum educational attainment for anyone in my family (immediate or extended) is college (can't think of anyone, actually, who doesn't have an advanced degree, too).
For high school, we just went out to a really nice dinner after the ceremony (my parents and little brother).
For med school, my parents, brother, and future in-laws (who came from out of town) all went out to celebrate after the graduation. No big party then, either.
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