Is my ex GF racist? (girlfriend, males, person, messages)
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I am of the opinion that she is and a few friends I know also think so. But I just wanted to get a consensus on this. First off, let me start by saying that I am of East Indian descent, however I have lived in the USA since I was 19 and am fully Americanized and don't have a lot of cultural ties with India, however I still appreciate aspects of the culture as it is my background...so in a way I am American but still appreciate my Indian roots.
My ex GF is white but throughout our relationship she would make disparaging comments about Indians, for instance that they come here and take our jobs and they don't assimilate, they are this or that, even saying that all Indian males are arrogant etc. etc.
What was worse was that she used to say things like don't get too dark or wear your hair long as you look too Indian because if your hair is short you look Latin which she preferred. That made me really uncomfortable.
I had mentioned that this is racist and I don't like the generalizations because every culture has it's share or unsavory characters, it's not race specific and to make your BF look less like a particular race which they actually are is racism in my opinion. However her argument was that if she was racist she would never have dated me at all to begin with.
Well her comments sure make it come off that way. I wouldn't put up with someone who would always make comments about people of my background or what I can and can't do with my body. Why are you with someone like that?
Lmao... yep, she is an ex. The reason this came up was that a mutual friend complained that she made antisemitic remarks (he is jewish), things clicked in my head and I shared with him that she had made similar statements about my racial background during our relationship. So, today I get a barrage of hate text messages from her (this is 3 months after breaking up) saying what she said during our relationship should have remained private.
In my general experience, most racist people have a hard time owning it up. Like they know it's a bad thing, but either downplay/ignore their own actions, so they just not "get" it. Even when you call them out, there's a bunch mental gymnastics as to why or how it's really not racist.
I do wonder why you're putting a thought to all this, you clearly weren't that uncomfortable because you continued the relationship for quite a time.
ETA: Saw the post, explaining why. Oh well, you don't owe anything to her.
I am of the opinion that she is and a few friends I know also think so. But I just wanted to get a consensus on this. First off, let me start by saying that I am of East Indian descent, however I have lived in the USA since I was 19 and am fully Americanized and don't have a lot of cultural ties with India, however I still appreciate aspects of the culture as it is my background...so in a way I am American but still appreciate my Indian roots.
My ex GF is white but throughout our relationship she would make disparaging comments about Indians, for instance that they come here and take our jobs and they don't assimilate, they are this or that, even saying that all Indian males are arrogant etc. etc.
What was worse was that she used to say things like don't get too dark or wear your hair long as you look too Indian because if your hair is short you look Latin which she preferred. That made me really uncomfortable.
I had mentioned that this is racist and I don't like the generalizations because every culture has it's share or unsavory characters, it's not race specific and to make your BF look less like a particular race which they actually are is racism in my opinion. However her argument was that if she was racist she would never have dated me at all to begin with.
So, what do you think, racist or not?
It gets a bit murky sometimes, she is definitely a bigot and probably racist, but whatever, she seems like an unpleasant person whatever label we assign to it.
Im glad she is an ex. Sounds quite racist but doesn't want to "come off" that way. Too bad for her...tell everyone
Yup, pretty darn racist.
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