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Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,640 posts, read 11,938,904 times
Reputation: 9886
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Not sure exactly how to word this, but how do you handle people who are either being intentionally vague/random or passive aggressive?
Examples:
I ran into my neighbor and he said, "wow, Bande1102, you cut your hair!" and then nothing. I ran into him again and he said, "wow, your is blonde!" and then nothing. It's weird b/c he'll keep standing there and wait for a response. I usually attempt to walk away and then he'll attempt to engage me about a real issue (a favor, wants to borrow something, etc).
I was at the pool and an acquaintance (I barely know her) said, "hey, Bande1102, I love your suit. I think one piece suits are more flattering".
Usually, I ignore them; but I'd love to have some witty comeback or something. I just don't get them. My compliments are honest and if I don't have something meaningful or nice to say, I stay quiet.
Did you cut your hair?
Did you get blonde?
Did you wear a one piece suit?
If so, I don't see what the problem is. To me it seems like a hidden compliment. Some people (like married men) don't want to make full compliments, just imply, so you cannot go to their wifes and tell them their husband made an inappropriate comment.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,640 posts, read 11,938,904 times
Reputation: 9886
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
Did you cut your hair?
Did you get blonde?
Did you wear a one piece suit?
If so, I don't see what the problem is. To me it seems like a hidden compliment. Some people (like married men) don't want to make full compliments, just imply, so you cannot go to their wifes and tell them their husband made an inappropriate comment.
Oh wow, all of these comments come from married men. I had not considered they were compliments. Thanks for another perspective.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,640 posts, read 11,938,904 times
Reputation: 9886
Haha, I'm definitely going to just start thanking them. The neighbor says things to me ALL the time and I'm usually wondering what his point his. Yup, I cut my hair. Yeah, it's blonder now. And?
I guess my point is that when I compliment someone, I just come out and say it. I wouldn't go up to someone and say, "you got new shoes" and leave it at that. I would say, "I like your shoes" and wait for them to thank me.
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