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Parents are only children of either only children or those whose family lived far away. I remember only spending a weekend or two with one set of grandparents when I was growing up. Otherwise, it was just me, my sibs, and my parents.
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My mother's sister was quite a few years younger than her.
She and her husband were a ton of fun. We would spend a couple of nights at her house and go sledding in the dark, snowball fights. Summer was fishing, playing badmitten.
When they had their first child, I would volunteer to babysit. Summer time was great, I could spend a week there several times.
They were my escape from my mom's craziness and I think my Aunt knew it. After all, who else knew my mother better, than her own sister?
My best childhood memories revolve around my Aunt. <3
I should add, maybe those memories are why I take my grandkids for 2 weeks each summer. Now I do them in shifts. Two oldest, then the next two that are the same age but are cousins. When the 2 youngest are old enough, they will start coming down.
I love my time with them, without mom and dad in the picture.
OP, I bet if you really think about it you could figure it out.
I don't think my mother had a secret life then but it certainly would have made things more intriguing.
One thing I'm not certain about -- because these visits were apparently arranged out of earshot -- is whose idea it was. My distant aunt, 60 miles away, had kids but they were all grown and out of the house. I think she was lonely. She may have even asked for me. She was a kind lady who liked to talk and had an enormous collection of owl-themed items. My uncle was kind of gruff and scary-sounding but he wasn't around much. And later I learned he was much more fond of me than I knew.
If my aunt had invited me to live with her full-time I would have gone. In fact, my sister moved out at fifteen to go live with a different aunt & uncle on the other side of town. She waitressed in their diner and only attended school occasionally. And no one said a word about that.
This all seems quite weird typing it out. Thanks, everyone, for the confirmation that most other people don't live that way. Though if you had an unconventional childhood, I'd love to hear about it.
My ex-husband's family was like this. The kids would always be passed around from house to house (for visits, not in a negative way) whenever school was out. The cousins all got along and were similar ages, so it was basically long sleepovers, I guess.
The idea was so odd to me. My cousins were all 10+ years older than me and lived out of state.
We slept over once a year at our grandparents house without my parents, and many times with my parents (they lived an hour away). My cousin and I would have sleep overs once in a while; she lived 10 miles away. We were close in age and she was an only child. We often went over to visit for the day.
Nope, I had many aunts & uncles in the area and only once did I ever stay overnight (as a special treat when I was about 10, I stayed at my favorite cousin's house for a weekend). I'm pretty sure that my husband never stayed overnight at his aunts & uncles houses either when he was a child.
Hmmm, your mother would drop you off at your aunts & uncles houses, who lived very close to you for a few days or even a week or more. But, your cousins never stayed overnight at your house. In fact only came rarely for visits during the day. Hmmm, that is interesting.
While, it is possible that your mother had a good reason for this, perhaps your relatives were better educated or did a lot of exciting activities and she wanted you to benefit from that. Or maybe, she couldn't afford to buy food so she dropped you off to get a few days of healthy eating. Or she had a job that meant that she had difficulty caring for you so they helped her out by watching you.
Or, maybe the reason was not quite as "nice". Perhaps, she wanted time away from you to do other things, such as drink or party or have male friends. Or she was a "user" and just "dumped" you on other people to take care of you.
OP, I bet if you really think about it you could figure it out.
I don't think my mother had a secret life then but it certainly would have made things more intriguing.
One thing I'm not certain about -- because these visits were apparently arranged out of earshot -- is whose idea it was. My distant aunt, 60 miles away, had kids but they were all grown and out of the house. I think she was lonely. She may have even asked for me. She was a kind lady who liked to talk and had an enormous collection of owl-themed items. My uncle was kind of gruff and scary-sounding but he wasn't around much. And later I learned he was much more fond of me than I knew.
If my aunt had invited me to live with her full-time I would have gone.
In fact, my sister moved out at fifteen to go live with a different aunt & uncle on the other side of town. She waitressed in their diner and only attended school occasionally. And no one said a word about that.
This all seems quite weird typing it out. Thanks, everyone, for the confirmation that most other people don't live that way. Though if you had an unconventional childhood, I'd love to hear about it.
I can see how your aunt that lived 60 miles away may have wanted some company and invited you to stay but the rest does seem sort of odd. Why did you stay for overnight for days, or even a week or more at someone else's house but your cousins never stayed over night at your house? You would think that there would be some type of reciprocity going on. "Hey Sis, can Fluffy stay at your house next week and then Junior can stay at our house for a week later in the month?"
Once that you were adults did you ever discuss this with any of your cousins or with your aunts and uncles?
BTW, my siblings and I grew up in poverty and with a lot of hardships, but we never would have ever considered leaving our parents and moving in with someone else. Perhaps, the fact that you would have done that, and your sister did move out, gives you additional information about the situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
Nope, I had many aunts & uncles in the area and only once did I ever stay overnight (as a special treat when I was about 10, I stayed at my favorite cousin's house for a weekend). I'm pretty sure that my husband never stayed overnight at his aunts & uncles houses either when he was a child.
Hmmm, your mother would drop you off at your aunts & uncles houses, who lived very close to you for a few days or even a week or more. But, your cousins never stayed overnight at your house. In fact only came rarely for visits during the day. Hmmm, that is interesting.
While, it is possible that your mother had a good reason for this, perhaps your relatives were better educated or did a lot of exciting activities and she wanted you to benefit from that. Or maybe, she couldn't afford to buy food so she dropped you off to get a few days of healthy eating. Or she had a job that meant that she had difficulty caring for you so they helped her out by watching you.
Or, maybe the reason was not quite as "nice". Perhaps, she wanted time away from you to do other things, such as drink or party or have male friends. Or she was a "user" and just "dumped" you on other people to take care of you.
OP, I bet if you really think about it you could figure it out.
I stayed with my Grandparents for 3 weeks when I had the chicken pox. My Mother worked and could not take off and my Grandparents worked but Grandpa worked days and Grandma worked midnights so one of them was always there with me.
I'm 62 years old. I had three aunts . One in Brooklyn(no cousins), one in New Jersey(2 younger girls) and one in Queens(2 boys, one slightly older, one slightly younger). In the late 50's thru the mid 60's I stayed over with them several times in the summer. One or two weeks at a time. Some of my best memories regardless of what Sir Thinkalot conjures up in his mind!LOL! Interestingly my cousins I believe never came to stay overnight by us. My guess is they didn't want to expose them to my mom and dad's weekly battle royales. Wise move on their parts.
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