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Yes that seems to be how this works. When my mom asked her to just be civil for the sake of the family she said that she would never speak to me again unless I apologise. My mom hasn't even asked me to apologise because she thinks I shouldn't have to.
Well, it's good that your mom is at least a little bit reasonable about the whole thing and is not blaming or shaming you. That would make your situation a lot worse.
At this point, I don't think it has anything to do with the bed situation anymore. The only reason you're still getting the silent treatment 10 months later, is because you haven't apologized to her. That's it. That's the ONLY reason. You apologizing gives her the ultimate power over you--and that's exactly what's she's waiting for. She's pissed that someone finally stood up to her, and she wants to take that control back.
Don't apologize. Don't worry about what's going on with her and her boyfriend. Be indifference to any reference to her life. Because if you give in and apologize, then you're no different than you're parents. So...be strong and don't enable bad behavior. You can't change how she acts, but you can change how you let it affect you.
I have a sister this way. Also had to deal with a lot of narcissists in my professional life. I do not lose any sleep over their antics, ever.
The key to spiking their fun is do not react. Utter indifference is the worst thing a narcissist can face.
If you want to mess with narcissists, smile mysteriously at random times. Never say anything, just smile. It sets off their paranoia and they start doing really stupid stuff. Ignore it. Eventually, they avoid you, because you won't give them what they want. Makes for far more peaceful working environments and family gatherings.
I have thoroughly enjoyed messing with narcissists for years now, and it requires absolutely no action on my part - just an occasional smile.
OP: I'm on the same page with those who think you should spend Christmas doing something else. You can tell yourself to keep a stiff upper lip, grin 'n' bear it, and all that jazz. But if you have to self-peptalk yourself the whole time you're there then you're not going to enjoy it, anyway.
Go where Christmas is exciting, or spend it with friends. Lots of options.
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