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Would you consider it off-putting, if a new acquaintance you're just meeting for the first time keeps making offhand but negative references to their financial situation, complaining about bills, budget constraints, ranting about unfair treatment at work etc?
Yes, such a person is obviously self-centered and seeking attention.
I'd say they dodged a bullet from you . The world isn't rosy all the time.pity that you call it a red flag. I call it an opportunity to listen.and maybe suggest alternate results.
But that's just me..I respect folks and understand that financial burdens do happen.
Keep away. I work with somebody who does exactly the same thing. And she's made it a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point.
Her job involves handling cash, and we don't trust her to do her own paperwork at the end of her shift (and we have reasons not to). She does nothing but moan and complain about how broke she is, and how she isn't getting many hours at work. And we want her to quit at this point, so her schedule is not going to improve.
You're not overthinking, you're being discerning! Very wise of you to question pursing a friendship before becoming too entrenched. It is said that we reflect the 5 people closest to us, so best to choose our inner circle wisely. Sounds like you already know to steer clear.
I'd say they dodged a bullet from you . The world isn't rosy all the time.pity that you call it a red flag. I call it an opportunity to listen.and maybe suggest alternate results.
But that's just me..I respect folks and understand that financial burdens do happen.
I would agree, especially if it was a good friend, but it seemed a) a bit weird considering it was a person I just met for the first time, and b) it was combined with asking ME leading questions about our lifestyle that seems like she was prying to find out our financial level..which made me a bit uneasy. I've known people before that were constantly envious of everyone around them who they perceived as having a better life, and tended to be bitter and act like those people owe them something...I'm not sure if this person is actually like that, but I was sort of picking up on that vibe.
I'll clarify that I'm not one of those people who wants everyone around them to be 'positive' all the time and refuse to be dragged down by others' problems! Not at all - I'm a fairly realist type of person, and I can totally appreciate a good rant or whine, lol! I like to listen to people and completely don't mind people sharing their problems and issues (in fact I sort of enjoy it, I like helping, and I've always enjoyed psychology in college and even considered majoring in it). Where I draw the line, though, is being used, or having that negative energy from people who are bitter or venemous or expect things without giving back, and I've seen that before. These are the types of people I want to weed out right away.
I find that behavior annoying but I wouldn't call it a red flag. I feel like a lot of people have a victim mentality. Sometimes the victim mentality manifests itself maliciously but usually it is more laziness and/or lack of awareness. It's not easy to be a leader.
I would be careful about offering any direct assistance. Sometimes I find it a fun challenge to try to influence people's thinking. Sometimes people surprise me.
I would agree, especially if it was a good friend, but it seemed a) a bit weird considering it was a person I just met for the first time, and b) it was combined with asking ME leading questions about our lifestyle that seems like she was prying to find out our financial level..which made me a bit uneasy. I've known people before that were constantly envious of everyone around them who they perceived as having a better life, and tended to be bitter and act like those people owe them something...I'm not sure if this person is actually like that, but I was sort of picking up on that vibe.
I'll clarify that I'm not one of those people who wants everyone around them to be 'positive' all the time and refuse to be dragged down by others' problems! Not at all - I'm a fairly realist type of person, and I can totally appreciate a good rant or whine, lol! I like to listen to people and completely don't mind people sharing their problems and issues (in fact I sort of enjoy it, I like helping, and I've always enjoyed psychology in college and even considered majoring in it). Where I draw the line, though, is being used, or having that negative energy from people who are bitter or venemous or expect things without giving back, and I've seen that before. These are the types of people I want to weed out right away.
The prying you describe here is a red flag for sure. Don't ever answer questions like this with any detail. I don't ever trust my family or closest friends too much with this sort of thing. We've been hit up for loans and things. Or just sometimes there are people that are more than happy to help you spend your money.
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