Asking someone their salary - social question (father, house, business)
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I think it's rude. I have a nosy friend who kept trying to find out lol. She would say, "Oh, I saw a job advertised that looked like something you might be interested in, but I don't know if it's good for you because I don't know how much money you make." Then she would stare at me expectantly. I would just change the subject.
She tells me what her son and all her friends make, with commentary on how she thinks they should be spending it or not spending it. I make more than any of them. No way will I EVER tell her!
I had a friend like that too. She'd say things like "I saw a job that pays $XXXX. That's like half of what you make." It was quite a bit less than half of what I made, but I just smiled and nodded.
On the other hand, I have a friend who likes to make sure everyone knows how much money her husband makes and how expensive the things are that they buy. Equally obnoxious.
To the OP: It's never polite in a social setting to ask someone how much money they make.
Well, I've heard this question from a few people in my lifetime and yes, I think it's a crude thing to ask. No, I don't hear it from everyone usually they will just ask "what do you do for a living?" which could give them a general idea of what our income is.
But I've encountered a few nosy people who just seemed really desperate to find out how much money I earn or my husband earns. I do transcription work out of my home and it's supplemental income, so I had someone ask me recently what I earn doing this and I told her, I'd rather not say. The fact is, that I don't earn much, like not a big salary, but it's also not the main source of our income. But she just kept going on and on, to find out what I make, she was like "but you can tell me, it's okay" and I finally just told her G T F O of my business.
A friend of mine had a similar problem with someone he knew being nosy about his finances and this person even hacked into his pay pal account, just to find out what kind of money he spends, what he buys, etc.
This kind of nosiness seems to be a real problem these days.
It's a real problem these days because some people(not all of us) have to post all their business online.
So many today think that everything is open for discussion, and people who are private are odd.
Another example is voting. That used to be considered something private, sometimes family members or spouses didn't even know who the other voted for.
Now people you don't even know just bring it up.
I think the "why do you ask?" which is an old Dear Abby response is perfect.
That is great response for just about any question you don't want to answer.
Typically I don't think it is OK to ask about that. I did have a situation come up recently where I felt like it WAS OK - the person I was talking to was interested in a position at my company that I had brought up to her first and she wanted to know what the pay was like.
My social group is diverse economically so I especially don't like talking about how much I make.
On a related note I wouldn't expect an honest response to such a question anyway.
That is funny because my salary was a matter of public record and could be found on a website--if someone knew where to look. I am retired now, but what I made last is still out there in cyberspace forever.
I couldn't stand to be around someone like that for even 5 minutes.
At any rate, even knowing what someone's salary is doesn't give the whole picture of their assets, their finances, etc.
Yes, she's definitely obsessed with money. Other people's, in particular. We're both on our condo board, so I have to associate with her.
She's so cheap it's hilarious. She brings a plastic container from home to church each week and empties the leftover coffee, decaf and regular, into her container and then takes it home to reheat during the week. One day an unsuspecting woman cleaned up after coffee hour and DUMPED THE COFFEE. Well. It was like a year ago, and this woman still brings up once a month or so how Nancy should have KNOWN she takes the leftover coffee.
I think one can get away with asking indirectly. Like, "Oh, are you happy with Walmart? I hear they don't pay much above minimum wage." If you're lucky, you might get a specific answer.
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