Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I haven't really had friends since I was like 16. (I'm 31) I was pretty shy when I was younger, but always made friends, even though we moved around a lot. But since then, I've gotten used to being a loner, that is until I started dating a few years ago, and realized how much I liked it (lol), so that was really my main socialization. But, I sort of stopped that for a while, for a lot of reasons - one being, that I realized I was using that as my main socialization, and means of talking to people. Which, maybe is not what it's for...but anyway, I've tried to not just 'date', and try to find people with similar interests, outside of dating...but, as you probably know...making friends as an adult seems almost impossible, especially if you're introverted to begin with. Which is one reason I did the online dating, because you can just get on there and talk to someone, and find out if you're compatible and stuff. I've also tried craigslist, but that doesn't seem to work out, and there aren't many women looking for female friends. I mainly would like someone to do things I already enjoy with. I guess that's why I tend to get along with, and prefer guys better, since I was always sort of a tomboy, and like doing active things like basketball, just being outside, walking around. I always wanted to skateboard, and learn to play the guitar and drums, which not many girls seem to do. But, it seems like guys don't want to be friends with girls, which I understand, or if they do, they expect you to act like a guy... :/
So, is it possible to just be friends with a guy? Or, has anyone had success making friends as an adult?
no...I did look at it a couple times I think...but idk. I live in a small-ish town, which may be part of it, as it's also a college town, so a lot of the people here are way too young. and it sort of seemed like the people that were on there, seemed like the more social, peppy types, that we don't usually seem to like each other that much...lol. being introverted, mostly a loner, etc...I guess that's why I also tend to prefer guys, as we seem to have more similar temperament, I guess. most girls are too loud/annoying/smiley/girly, etc.
You're making excuses. (I say that as someone who also tends toward being introverted, and I do the same thing). You've got nothing to lose for trying out a few free events. At worst, you sacrifice an evening. At best, you meet some people who you otherwise wouldn't. Don't write people off because of your preconceived notions about them from looking at a website. You could be pleasantly surprised.
I'm also an introverted, sporty type. The way I've made friends as an adult is through sports - in my case softball and hockey. If you like basketball, join a recreational basketball league. Most cities are going to have something for you. Joining a team is a great way to meet people, but not worry about the pressure of becoming instant besties. You meet with a bunch of people on a weekly basis, and friendships can form naturally.
I see that you have the "girls are icky" stereotype going. I do get where you're coming from, but why does the fact that "most" women are anything have to do with making friends, unless you want to make friends with everyone? I ask this because the idea of making friends is to find those with whom you have stuff in common. I've always managed to find sympatico women, because I don't go looking at the mall to meet other women who like to be active, I join sports leagues. It seems like an excuse to hold back from forming relationships with other women.
I just checked it out. the only thing there that I'm interested in is the 'bike group', and maybe the 'young adult' group - but, I guess that's the thing, is I'm not a group person. I guess that's why I didn't like school as an adult, and why I found that I liked dating. I'm more of a one-on-one person, which is why I tend to be a loner, because if I'm going to spend time with people, since it tends to be draining, and I tend to invest a lot into it, I want it to be meaningful. Which is why I would rather have little to no relationships, because the ones I do have, I want to be substantive. So that's why I prefer one-on-one, so you can get to know each other. I used to be more active and into sports and stuff, but getting older, I'm more low-key, I guess. So someone that has similar interests, but we don't necessarily need to play a whole game or whatever, but it would be fun if I had a friend that liked basketball, where we could just shoot hoops and talk...
I'm also an introverted, sporty type. The way I've made friends as an adult is through sports - in my case softball and hockey. If you like basketball, join a recreational basketball league. Most cities are going to have something for you. Joining a team is a great way to meet people, but not worry about the pressure of becoming instant besties. You meet with a bunch of people on a weekly basis, and friendships can form naturally.
I see that you have the "girls are icky" stereotype going. I do get where you're coming from, but why does the fact that "most" women are anything have to do with making friends, unless you want to make friends with everyone? I ask this because the idea of making friends is to find those with whom you have stuff in common. I've always managed to find sympatico women, because I don't go looking at the mall to meet other women who like to be active, I join sports leagues. It seems like an excuse to hold back from forming relationships with other women.
ooh, I played softball, and I always thought hockey seemed cool, thought it wasn't really a thing here. :/
I don't think there's much outside the university...and since I'm not a student, and most of them are a lot younger anyway... :/
yeah, that's true. I guess it's hard to find ones that are tomboyish...but I'm also girly, and like shopping and makeup sometimes.
I just checked it out. the only thing there that I'm interested in is the 'bike group', and maybe the 'young adult' group - but, I guess that's the thing, is I'm not a group person. I guess that's why I didn't like school as an adult, and why I found that I liked dating. I'm more of a one-on-one person, which is why I tend to be a loner, because if I'm going to spend time with people, since it tends to be draining, and I tend to invest a lot into it, I want it to be meaningful. Which is why I would rather have little to no relationships, because the ones I do have, I want to be substantive. So that's why I prefer one-on-one, so you can get to know each other. I used to be more active and into sports and stuff, but getting older, I'm more low-key, I guess. So someone that has similar interests, but we don't necessarily need to play a whole game or whatever, but it would be fun if I had a friend that liked basketball, where we could just shoot hoops and talk...
But the groups are how you meet people ... once you've figured out who you "click" with, nothing is stopping you from spending one-on-one time with them.
It's going to be hard to make friends if you're limiting yourself to one-on-one interactions.
But the groups are how you meet people ... once you've figured out who you "click" with, nothing is stopping you from spending one-on-one time with them.
that's true. but I guess that's why I always hated group situations, when I was in school, because most people seemed to pick or talk to other people, even if they had been staring at me the whole time...unless it was a sport where I was obviously better than other people. then they all wanted me on their team. :/
But the groups are how you meet people ... once you've figured out who you "click" with, nothing is stopping you from spending one-on-one time with them.
It's going to be hard to make friends if you're limiting yourself to one-on-one interactions.
This!
You can't order up friends/dates like a pizza.
You need to put in a little effort.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
