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I was disowned by my parents when I was 17 after becoming pregnant with my husband (was my boyfriend back then). He was also 17 at the time. We always used protection but a night of drunken, teenage lust saw us discard common sense. My parents are very religious and my pregnancy was unable to co-exist with their faith. Plus my husband is a mix of Black/Hispanic, and that didn’t sit too well with them.
The early years of my son’s life were among the hardest I have endured. I and my husband had no idea about being parents. We were kids ourselves. From barely scraping enough money to pay the rent to being shocked with the transition from being fun-loving teens to being responsible for a little human being 24/7. Things got better as our son grew and we gained experienced and became wiser, but it was still a struggle. Not just because of raising a child but also strains in our relationship. But we got through it.
Our son is now 19 and in college. I couldn’t be prouder of the young man he’s turned into.
When he was 26, my husband started a business with his twin brother. It started slow and modestly in the first few years, but boomed soon after. Financially, we’re now in a very good position. My parents must have heard about it.
Recently, I received a Facebook message from my mother. She claimed to be sorry for disowning me, saying she made a terrible mistake and how she wishes she could take back all the time lost. Then she claimed my father had cancer and they needed money for treatment. This is after 20 years of no contact with me.
I thought I’d put everything behind me but the anger I felt when I read that message proves that I haven’t. I called a cousin back home and asked about the cancer. She said knows nothing about it. It hasn’t been mentioned in the family. She said if my dad had cancer, they would’ve all known.
This just served to heighten my anger. They are clearly looking for a handout and the fact they lied to me, saying my dad has cancer, is absolutely disgusting. I haven’t responded to the message. Part of me wants to respond to my mother, writing everything I feel in uncensored fashion. My husband says it’s best to just ignore the message – that answering it will only serve to hurt me farther. The logical part in me knows what he says is true, but the impulsive part wants to respond in scathing fashion.
Wow so sorry you had to go through that. I know how hard that was, I too had no sane parenents to turn to. Shame on them for throwing you out and claiming that was in the name of religion, just shows how little they understand their faith. But they are your parents and you are in a no win situation. If you turn your back on them you will feel lousy, you already do, and it will be there eating away at you. And if you reunite they are disingenuous.
I had emotional disengagement with mine and connected with them on my terms. I saw to it that I did my best within reason. My faith required me to honor my parents, even though they didn't deserve one bit. It actually took till my dad was very old that we really finally connected. For last seven years of his life. I am glad it went the way it did but it wasn't easy.
You could request a proof from the doctor. But why don't they have health care? I'm sorry if they are scamming you. You sound like you really took your life your life by the horns and made it work, congrats!
You don't owe her a response. You owe her nothing. She may have given you life, but she chose to withdraw her love and support for 20 years. Clearly she knows nothing of the unconditional love of a parent.
Please don't respond. Block her completely. And have no guilt doing it.
I'd delete the message and block her, but I would first send a nice get well card to my "father" telling him I am so sorry he has cancer and am hoping he gets well soon.
Don' put a return address on it. Then move on with your life. You are doing fine without them, so no reason to change that.
I'd delete the message and block her, but I would first send a nice get well card to my "father" telling him I am so sorry he has cancer and am hoping he gets well soon.
Don' put a return address on it. Then move on with your life. You are doing fine without them, so no reason to change that.
I wouldn't waste the money on the card and the stamp, especially since there's reason to believe he doesn't actually have cancer.
I wouldn't waste the money on the card and the stamp, especially since there's reason to believe he doesn't actually have cancer.
I know the cancer is fake. Growing up, when anyone in my family was (even with the smallest sickness) my mom made sure everyone knew. Believe me, if my dad had cancer, the entire extended family would know.
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