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I would probably remind them of their strong religious convictions that caused them to disown you in the first place and them recommend that they pray for the fake cancer. But then I am not as forgiving as most. Probably better to just ignore and move on. Sorry you have to decide what to do at all.
Yes, their hypocritical righteousness really annoys me on that point.
Wow. Some people have a lot of nerve, and some people really have no shame! OP, the best thing you can do is not respond, block her, and forget about your parents. The best revenge is a life well-lived, and you've done an amazing job!
Take some time to grieve the loving, supportive parents you never had. To move the anger energy out of your system, write a poison pen letter to your mom, but don't mail it! Block out a half hour or an hour of your time, and sit down, and just start writing everything you'd like to say to her. Let it flow onto the page. Keep writing everything that comes to mind, a stream-of-consciousness kind of thing; don't hold back. Keep writing, until you have nothing left to write (could be pages. Whatever it takes). You can dispose of the letter different ways; burn it in the sink (flames can be remarkably cleansing, purifying), or you could create a little ceremony, gather together some other symbolic items or a photo of her if you have one, and create a burial ceremony in the back yard, with your husband accompanying you.
If you feel anger welling up again sometime, repeat the poison letter exercise, or get a tennis racket or plastic baseball bat, and pound on pillows on the sofa. Pound out all that anger, loss, and whatever emotions come up.
So sorry that happened, but be aware that a lot of parents are far less than the ideal. And congratulations on your success against all odds!
I have been thinking of doing that. I've heard before that writing down everything you feel in a letter can help a lot. Can be cathartic. I think I am going to try that.
OP: Block them on any and all social media, email, cell phone, etc.
Do not respond to the message.
Continue to move forward in your life and do not fall back into the past
Be proud of the man you and your husband raised and what you have accomplished without the input of your family
and personally I would not be in contact with any part of the family to find out what is or is not going on.
The contact can perhaps make your parents believe that you have opened the door for them to return to your life since you
made the effort to ask about them.
My husband said the same thing. That I should just block her.
And yes I would absolutely block her, AFTER I told her to f*ck off. Because God forbid, I wouldn't want her to think I never got her message. I want that response driven HOME.
Yeah, it's very tempting to really let my mind rip and indeed, tell her to f**k off. But a part of me does think what would even hurt them more is by not responding at all. Acting like they don't exist just like they acted like I didn't exist for all these years. I feel like letting them know that I'm still angry and upset over what happened, will give them a little victory. That's the logical part of me. The impulsive part is all for letting it rip.
I agree with Ruth - tell her exactly how you feel about them, read it a few times and then throw it away.
Living well is the best revenge and I am so happy for you, your husband and son that you made it. You have a lot to be proud of and I would not invite these hypocrites back into your life. Block her, change your Facebook settings to private and enjoy the rest of your life with your own little family. :-)
Edited to add - I also agree with Convex - send a brief note through FB Messenger or whatever letting her know you received her message and you are not interested in establishing any relationship. That way she will know you did receive her first message.
Contrary to popular opinion here, I don't think you should ignore.
Along with the minority, I agree that you want her to know you got the message and that you don't want any more.
Don't fire off long rant of past wrongs. Just a quick note along the lines of.....
Quote:
Hey, just wanted to let you know that I got your message. Whatever problems you have, real or imaginary,
are no concern of mine.
I always thought that I would write an angry response about how much you hurt me if you ever did contact me. Now that its finally happened, I find that I really don't care enough about you to do that. I got over it many many years ago and realize that now, I am oddly indifferent to your problems or concerns.
Any further attempts to contact me will be ignored and deleted.
Yeah, it's very tempting to really let my mind rip and indeed, tell her to f**k off. But a part of me does think what would even hurt them more is by not responding at all. Acting like they don't exist just like they acted like I didn't exist for all these years. I feel like letting them know that I'm still angry and upset over what happened, will give them a little victory. That's the logical part of me. The impulsive part is all for letting it rip.
Contrary to popular opinion here, I don't think you should ignore.
Along with the minority, I agree that you want her to know you got the message and that you don't want any more.
Don't fire off long rant of past wrongs. Just a quick note along the lines of.....
Or something like that.
I actually like the idea of that. It doesn't give them a victory in knowing that I still have feelings about what happened. Plus it lets them know I don't want to have a relationship with them in the future.
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