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I already know how the majority of you are going to take this, but oh well. I don't consider the majority of my coworkers to be friends. They are just people who I'm forced to spend 40 hours a week with in order to make money. I don't care about their personal lives and they don't care about mine. However, with engagement and pregnancy announcements, I feel like I'm being forced to celebrate their sex lives. An engagement to me just means "I found someone who I plan to have sex with forever" and a pregnancy just means "I had sex and now I'm going to pop a baby out at a later date." Sure, it's great for the people involved, but I really don't care. Yet I have to pretend to care and even spend money towards the celebratory showers. I just don't think this is fair. People aren't forced to celebrate the fact that I'm not having sex, so why do I have to celebrate the fact that they are? Just sayin'.
PS: Don't tell me to go to therapy because I already have a therapist. Thanks!
Nobody is forcing you to do anything. If you don't want to participate.... don't. Apparently you don't care what your co-workers think anyway. You also sound a bit sour grapy because they're having sex and you're not. Stay with your therapist.... you still have some work to do.
Why would co-workers be expected to contribute to shower expenses? Work is not a shakedown. Feel free to politely decline. You don't have to follow the herd. In the offices where I worked, there were not milestone celebrations, like that. People might mention that they were getting married, or their SO was pregnant, but no one expected co-workers to suddenly behave like close friends, and start throwing money at them.
What does your office supervisor or boss have to say about these shakedowns?
Why would co-workers be expected to contribute to shower expenses? Work is not a shakedown. Feel free to politely decline. You don't have to follow the herd. In the offices where I worked, there were not milestone celebrations, like that. People might mention that they were getting married, or their SO was pregnant, but no one expected co-workers to suddenly behave like close friends, and start throwing money at them.
What does your office supervisor or boss have to say about these shakedowns?
We have celebrations all the time and I work closely with these people, so I wouldn't feel comfortable declining to participate.
If there's an office party, just give the person a card. That should take care of it. If someone's crass enough to comment that the card didn't contain cash or a check, that says a lot more about them than you. Hopefully, no one in the office is that bad. If someone does have the nerve to make such a comment, play the victim; say (in a wounded tone), "OMG, I can't believe you just said that! I sincerely wished you well, and this is how you thank me?!"
Nobody is forcing you to do anything. If you don't want to participate.... don't. Apparently you don't care what your co-workers think anyway. You also sound a bit sour grapy because they're having sex and you're not. Stay with your therapist.... you still have some work to do.
I do understand why you might think that. It's not so much that I personally want sex or babies for myself, but I do resent having to pretend to care. Imagine a scenario where it was normal and expected to have celebrations at work about events that you don't care about and that don't involve you.
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