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Sorry, but this is WAY too long. Most people - including me - aren't going to devote the time to reading it.
I can tell you this:
1. It is, in fact, her house, so unfortunately she's free to dictate to you, while ignoring the guidelines herself. That includes her right to hog the TV.
2. After all these years, you should have figured out how to deal with this. It sounds like you don't make much effort in terms of laying low. For instance, if you use headphones, you won't have a noise problem. I'm surprised you haven't yet figured out replies that work for you. For instance, with her "Do you know ANYTHING? You're useless!" - I'd be tempted to try replies like "Well, I guess you brought me up wrong" or "Okay, well then I'll leave you to do it yourself."
3. I'd normally say, when you say you never start any conversations with her, that may be part of the problem. Maybe she wants some attention, so you might experiment with trying to be pleasantly sociable. In her case, though, she may be too crazed for that.
4. If you're seeing therapists - and if you're in college there should likely be free therapy there - I'm surprised they haven't been able to give you some guidelines for working some of this out. Have you asked?
5. Rather than taking off a semester, have you investigated the possibilities of a part-time job? Or any scholarship money for now? Have you talked to your school advisor, your dean, your financial aid office?
Your mother sounds a lot like mines. I left at 18 and never went back. Haven't seen my mom in 26 years.
You're an adult now. Get out, stay in therapy to work thru your issues, and do not let her continue to control your life.
My mother died in 2014. I was an only child until she remarried. My relationship with my mother wasn't hatred. However I was far closer to both my natural father, who died on January 5,1973 and my stepfather from 1974 until his 2013 death. Let me explain.
My mother was always stirring the pot, in both marriages and her other relationships and playing victim. Sometimes I sided with her. It always or almost always turned out she was wrong on the merits. After her December 2014 death, I was cleaning out her apartment so my stepsiblings could sell it. I found a letter, apparently a series of notes to herself, about my father. Most of it was unjustified BS. I think it was talkign points to get her mother, my grandmother, to let her move back in and leave my father.
In any event, during her frequent arguments with my stepfather and my wife I was often playing mediator since I am someone who doesn't hesitate to get involved. After reading this note, I actually had to apologize to my wife. There is no set of facts under which she could consistently get along with anyone. She is also a good part of the reason I am somewhat insecure in spite of being reasonably successful.
End of rant. Thoughts?
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