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So, we went thru this at retirement time, too. But my impression is that the majority of curiousity was because inevitably all workers do retire and everyone is forming plans in their minds. Your plans are extremely interesting to others, as they too will face the same issues and maybe you have some good ideas.
I like Spuggy's answers; but also a bit of humor works as another option. How I answered:
Q: How can you afford to retire? A: I know, right? Sometimes, I'm afraid we'll starve. Keep your fingers crossed for us that our savings stretches out until we go out toes up!
Q: What are your going to do? A: SLEEP IN!! HA HA. Other than that, we're going to try and get some exercise and read some great books and see some sights.
Q: Are you leaving the State? A: Have at least 20 years to decide! What would you do?
Q: Are you going to get a part-time job? A: If we run out of money and are healthy we'll consider it.....who knows.....I always thought I'd be a good Wal-mart door greeter!
Excellent post! Great way to keep private plans private in a friendly way. I agree, lots of folks close to retirement are curious as to what options their coworkers are taking.
I don't care for the standard "why do you ask" response. It comes off as belligerent IMO.
Err yes lol, I've had several friends do that because they are wondering if there is a good art community for me, and one friend worried there might be bears and worries about me.. as for nosy parkers I have no clue I don't work with people who pry into my financial situation. Who am I to decide the op is fibbing or not, take it as said and focus on deflecting issue
Okay, and you interpreted that concern as a friendly act, right? OP is not, and I stand by my original statement that it seems odd to be so worried about it.
I never said OP was fibbing. I said he or she may have a distorted perception of other people's intentions. It is not remotely the same thing.
I have now started being asked the following questions:
What am I going to do when I retire?
How could I possibly afford to retire?
Are you leaving the state?
You're not old enough to start receiving your company pension are you?
Are you going to get a part-time job?
These strike me as being the types of questions that anyone who would like to retire early would ask themselves. When people dream about retirement they are trying to visualize what retirement might be like and how and when they could handle retirement financially. Hearing how you answer the same questions may help them to develop answers to their own retirement concerns. I think that’s why many ask the questions. They wouldn’t say that to you though.
When colleagues have told me their retirement plans over the years, my mind always immediately shifted to putting myself in their shoes and pondering whether those plans appealed to me personally as part of my own retirement plan. That was helpful. I retired at age 53.
Quote:
I don't want to tell people my business either. ESPECIALLY co-workers who I know could care less about me and only want to "gather" information to use against me when talking to others which I can only assume is because they're envious, jealous, or plan irritated that I'm retiring before them (sadly my boss falls in the category).
If those co-workers are indifferent to your future well being, why would they care enough to be malicious? Sure, I imagine many of them might wish they could retire, too. Have you never wished you could have retired earlier yourself?
So, we went thru this at retirement time, too. But my impression is that the majority of curiousity was because inevitably all workers do retire and everyone is forming plans in their minds. Your plans are extremely interesting to others, as they too will face the same issues and maybe you have some good ideas.
I like Spuggy's answers; but also a bit of humor works as another option. How I answered:
Q: How can you afford to retire? A: I know, right? Sometimes, I'm afraid we'll starve. Keep your fingers crossed for us that our savings stretches out until we go out toes up!
Q: What are your going to do? A: SLEEP IN!! HA HA. Other than that, we're going to try and get some exercise and read some great books and see some sights.
Q: Are you leaving the State? A: Have at least 20 years to decide! What would you do?
Q: Are you going to get a part-time job? A: If we run out of money and are healthy we'll consider it.....who knows.....I always thought I'd be a good Wal-mart door greeter!
These are great. It answers the questions vaguely enough that people don’t have much info to keep questioning, and injects enough humor so you aren’t perceived as hostile or unnecessarily secretive. The trick is to keep walking that fine line by giving vague answers in a cheerful I’m-so-glad-you-asked tone that communicates you appreciate their concern but don’t really have any interesting answers to give.
Here are my suggestions (you’ll need a few of these on rotation):
How can you afford to retire? We've always been pretty frugal and watched our spending.
What are your going to do? Relax, sleep in, enjoy the freedom to do whatever we want.
Are you leaving the State? We’re not sure. We haven’t really thought that far ahead.
Are you going to get a part-time job? I suppose that’s always a possibility, but I’m not sure what I’d do yet. It’s good to stay busy. We’re just going to enjoy not having to keep to a specific schedule for awhile.
I understand wanting to keep your life private and not wanting to give out too much info that opens you up to further questioning. You can’t totally keep people from trying to extrapolate your financial situation based on what limited info you give. People will always form opinions and judgements based on incomplete information, despite your best efforts, and they’re more than happy to share those unsolicited opinions with you or anyone who will listen to their gossip. There’s really nothing you can do to eliminate that completely, but I do understand your desire to minimize it as much as possible, especially with a year to go before retirement.
Good luck and congratulations on being able to retire early!
These are great. It answers the questions vaguely enough that people don’t have much info to keep questioning, and injects enough humor so you aren’t perceived as hostile or unnecessarily secretive. The trick is to keep walking that fine line by giving vague answers in a cheerful I’m-so-glad-you-asked tone that communicates you appreciate their concern but don’t really have any interesting answers to give.
Another one that I've used when boundaries were being crossed and the questioner won't get the point is: "That's kind of personal, don't you think?" with a laugh and a smile. That's not quite as blunt as "Nunya bidness" but heading in that direction.
Another one that I've used when boundaries were being crossed and the questioner won't get the point is: "That's kind of personal, don't you think?" with a laugh and a smile. That's not quite as blunt as "Nunya bidness" but heading in that direction.
I guess I don't see any of those questions as being invasive. Personally, I'd be put off by the response you suggested. In my opinion, we should stop taking ourselves so seriously. At various stages of our life, we become part of a community (so to speak) of our peers. Retirement is one of those times. Since there isn't an "instruction book" that tells us how to do it, we learn from the experiences of others who are going through the same stage of life (or who are just ahead of us). OP, so what if someone doesn't like the choices you are making, or even researches the place you are contemplating moving. They're your choices. I'm not saying you have to tell someone the size of your 401k, but I also don't think you need to "put people in their place."
It almost seems like YOU are not comfortsble with your choices, and therefore are concerned with what others will think.
Okay, and you interpreted that concern as a friendly act, right? OP is not, and I stand by my original statement that it seems odd to be so worried about it.
I never said OP was fibbing. I said he or she may have a distorted perception of other people's intentions. It is not remotely the same thing.
I wouldn't entertain a distorted perception , sadly I have unfortunately Come across the types that the op talks about in the past, nosy or keeping up with the jones' gossipy types. However I will leave it up to the op to elaborate further if needed. Signing off and cheers all
I'm going to be so delighted to retire that I won't care what anyone asks me. I generally assume that people mean well, even if they're asking what some might see as nosy questions. I really would think they're just expressing their happiness for me and are curious to know what I'm going to do with my newly found freedom!
I am retiring from federal service in December and not a day goes by that one of my co-workers asks what I'm going to do, why am I retiring, etc. They JUST DO NOT GET IT.
I just tell them I've worked a total of 42 years, my husband is retired and STILL gets up with me to take me to work. I tell them we are BOTH finally retiring.
I'll be glad when I'm out of there and the work environment. They are some who are clearly jealous, some happy for me, etc.
HaHa, I got this question a lot when I announced my retirement. My answer was always:
WHATEVER I WANT TO!!!!!!!!!
And just wait.....after you retire and they see you out and about, the follow up question will be:
"So, Jane, how are you liking retirement?"
Answer= "It's the best damn job I ever had."
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