How do you deal with the wrinkled, informal sibling during the holidays? (person, member)
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Ie, the one that doesn't have any formal clothes, who barely hangs things up when they come out of the dryer, who is just as happy as pulling clean clothes out of a laundry bag and wearing that? Whose travel luggage consists of back packs?
Here's the catch......I'm that sibling.
Thanksgiving is the home coming and I was just informed "Oh, you might want something formal for the last night's dinner".
Between not being in that life style, having lost a lot of weight, still unpacking from the move (where a lot was lost in OPERATION: WHIRLWIND), and preparing to fly for the first time since before 9/11, they just asked the impossible on very short notice.
My highest standard is business casual and around my business, we are very casual. I'm probably the better dressed, of technical staff, with jeans and a tactical shirt, but that's it.
Am I being unreasonable? I probably would think so if I was looking in from the outside, "normal" world. On the other hand, though, being in a life that has been in years of upheaval, having a formal wardrobe hasn't been a high priority especially when there hasn't been a need.
To say little about flying again and having no luggage beyond back packs.
So am I being unreasonable? Should "we" automatically think that others dress to the same standards as us?
And if that sibling is the one we would have bed down on the roll out bed in the utility room with the dogs, should we be surprised when we find out they are so primitive?
How soon should one get out the dress code for a family get together during the holidays?
Or.......is it just expected that everyone will have formal clothes always and will know how to travel (ie, have the necessary luggage always) with them always?
I must admit, I remember one grand aunt who had a sweat shirt (with sweat pants) that said, "At my age, this is as dressed up as I get!".
I don't see why your luggage matters, but I also don't see why it would be so hard to have a skirt or a pair of pants that aren't jeans. It seems like grown-ups, no matter their usual lifestyle, should have something to wear to an unusual occasion.
How would I deal with that relative? What's to deal with? As long as you don't smell, I don't think I'd care.
As someone who also owns no formalwear, I'd just tell the relatives business casual is the best I can do, and politely decline to attend the final night's dinner if that is going to be an issue for them.
I guess I'd just grab a black skirt from Family Dollar and call it a day.
I think it's silly to require anyone to wear anything that they're not comfortable in, personally. As long as the bazooms are covered until Christmas and the buttless chaps are put away until New Years Day, it's all good.
How soon should one get out the dress code for a family get together during the holidays?
Or.......is it just expected that everyone will have formal clothes always and will know how to travel (ie, have the necessary luggage always) with them always?
I must admit, I remember one grand aunt who had a sweat shirt (with sweat pants) that said, "At my age, this is as dressed up as I get!".
Are you asking how soon your host should let you know the dress code? I don't think there should be a dress code that is so outrageous that people should have to buy a special outfit for a family dinner. How formal is it?
Still not understanding why the type of bag matters.
Ah OP, I have 2 sons like you, right down to the traveling with nothing more than backpacks. One son went to a wedding this weekend wearing jeans and a(likely unironed) button down sport shirt, while his gf looked lovely in her dress and heels. I don't let it bother me, he's 26, and I gave up dressing him years ago.
I do think every adult man should have at least a sport coat, if not a suit. A white dress shirt and a pair of decent slacks. My sons have all of them, but they must be saving them for a special occasion yet to be announced. Goodwill shopping is fine btw, no reason to spend a bundle on clothing you rarely are called upon to use.
While, IMHO, it is pretty poor form to spring the announcement on you just before you leave, especially if they are expecting you to sleep with their dogs. I really doubt that they mean "formal" as in a long dress and a tiara or a cocktail dress, just not a wrinkled tee shirt and a pair of holey jeans. I suspect that a blouse and black pants would be just fine.
Surely you have something a little nicer in your closet? What would you wear to a wedding or a funeral or if you were invited to a nice restaurant? Just wear that.
BTW, I have an overweight, 70 year old relative who normally wears tight tee shirts and shorts to every holiday party. The rest of the guests would just be happy if she decided to wear a bra once in a while. But, no one comments because it is none of our business what she wants to wear.
You can find those jersey dresses online and they roll up and don't wrinkle, so they travel really well. They look a little more dressy if you pair them with a nice necklace. You can "get away" with being comfy while still looking like you're on the more dressy side. I love those dresses. I mean, it's not like you'll be mistaken for the Queen of England while wearing one... they're not that formal... but they're a nice compromise for the fussbudgets who insist that you "dress up" for dinner.
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