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I was asked to host but with the caveat that all of the dishes the usual host desires will be there. I said that they were welcome to make them in my kitchen, thinking they would provide the ingredients. Then I get a list of things I need to have ready. One of these is a Kitchen Aid cake stand mixer. I had one several years ago that broke and did not replace it. I am not willing to provide an expensive appliance for the creation of this meal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire
"I'm sorry, you misunderstood. I meant that I would provide the kitchen. I won't be providing the ingredients, and I don't own a stand mixer. You can use my refrigerator, stove and oven for all the food you will be bringing in."
I agree.
If the person really wanted to make sure that they/you served all of the food that they usually served at Thanksgiving they should have hosted the celebration at their home or rented a hall or room and cooked and brought in all of the food themselves for the holiday dinner.
How come no one is having a birthday party for you?
That is a great question. You know, I have never had anyone host a party for me. Not once in my whole adult life. No one has even offered. I have certainly done my fair share of hosting.
If the person really wanted to make sure that they/you served all of the food that they usually served at Thanksgiving they should have hosted the celebration at their home or rented a hall or room and cooked and brought in all of the food themselves for the holiday dinner.
I think I am going to let this person know that they can host it at their house. I am going on strike.
My husband's family is coming for Christmas and Thanksgiving. He can deal with them.
I’m really sorry about your birthday. That’s the one day when others should try to cater to you and rearrange their schedules, especially since it seems by their lame excuses that they don’t have anything urgent going on. When the majority of people are busy sometimes it makes sense to move the celebration to another day. But when you start feeling like all you’re doing is accommodating everyone else all the time, then it may be time to re-evaluate how you’re approaching situations and your role in them.
I would quietly decline to host Thanksgiving. Even if it’s something you enjoy doing, it’s still a lot of work. It will be torture if you’re hosting a group of people who are more demanding than appreciative. Tell them you’re just overwhelmed right now and are unable to do it this year. It’s the truth. You’re overwhelmed by their attitudes, but you don’t need to share that with them. And don’t give your birthday situation as the reason because people won’t understand the connection. They won’t comprehend that how you’re being treated over your birthday plans is just the final frustrating example of their lack of consideration. It will be reduced to, ”Willa’s mad because we didn’t come to her birthday party.”
For the record, whomever does the hosting at Thanksgiving is the one who chooses which dishes to make. A good host takes their guests food restrictions and preferences into account when cooking, but to have a guest demand that you cater to a long list of specific ingredients and dishes, up to and including the purchase of an expensive Kitchen Aid mixer (because the dish couldn’t possibly taste as good without it) is beyond the pale. It’s still early enough in the month that these people can make other plans.
It’s definitely time to re-evaluate your relationships. Maybe you should stop being so accommodating. Being accommodating is a considerate and giving trait, but sometimes others see it as a weakness and take advantage.
Good luck and let us know what you decide to do and how it’s received.
I’m really sorry about your birthday. That’s the one day when others should try to cater to you and rearrange their schedules, especially since it seems by their lame excuses that they don’t have anything urgent going on. When the majority of people are busy sometimes it makes sense to move the celebration to another day. But when you start feeling like all you’re doing is accommodating everyone else all the time, then it may be time to re-evaluate how you’re approaching situations and your role in them.
I would quietly decline to host Thanksgiving. Even if it’s something you enjoy doing, it’s still a lot of work. It will be torture if you’re hosting a group of people who are more demanding than appreciative. Tell them you’re just overwhelmed right now and are unable to do it this year. It’s the truth. You’re overwhelmed by their attitudes, but you don’t need to share that with them. And don’t give your birthday situation as the reason because people won’t understand the connection. They won’t comprehend that how you’re being treated over your birthday plans is just the final frustrating example of their lack of consideration. It will be reduced to, ”Willa’s mad because we didn’t come to her birthday party.”
For the record, whomever does the hosting at Thanksgiving is the one who chooses which dishes to make. A good host takes their guests food restrictions and preferences into account when cooking, but to have a guest demand that you cater to a long list of specific ingredients and dishes, up to and including the purchase of an expensive Kitchen Aid mixer (because the dish couldn’t possibly taste as good without it) is beyond the pale. It’s still early enough in the month that these people can make other plans.
It’s definitely time to re-evaluate your relationships. Maybe you should stop being so accommodating. Being accommodating is a considerate and giving trait, but sometimes others see it as a weakness and take advantage.
Good luck and let us know what you decide to do and how it’s received.
"For the record, whomever does the hosting at Thanksgiving is the one who chooses which dishes to make." That is certainly true among my family and friends. I can not even imagine a guest demanded that you prepare certain dishes because that is what they usually serve at their house. If the guest really, really wants to eat a specific side dish then they need to ask the host if it is OK, make it at their house and bring along enough for everyone at the table to share.
This is an able bodied person who has no issue coming to my house if there is some store she wants to shop at near by or an event she feels like attending. I don't think its too much to ask that once a year she makes a trip to see me for a birthday event or or near the time of the day itself. Not when she feels its better for her.
I get the whole not-wanting-to-travel bit. I'm like that myself, BUT I will extravagantly cater to those who are kind enough to travel and visit ME.
I know exactly how your feel. Birthday? I have never, ever been acknowledged by anyone in my husband's family on my birthday (most of mine have passed away), but boy heidie, miss theirs, don't sent money to the grandkids or something THEY WILL CALL YOU UP and ask why.
I usually get myself something for my birthday, even my husband doesn't acknowledge it.
When we lived near them, the only time my husband heard from anyone was if they needed something done for them. He lived ten minutes away from most of them....they would only visit if they wanted something. Now that we are 2500 miles away, he doesn't seem to miss them much. Should I outlive my husband, I will have no further contact with them. I'm nothing to them, never have been.
well Happy Birthday and maybe you need some new friends and yes you are surrounded by takers and get out and meet some new people . These people sound like they are your friends when it is convenient for them to be your friend . I say good riddens to bad rubbish and time to dump those losers and get some new friends ,ones who want to be friends with you . Good luck to you and best wishes .
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