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First of all, my immediate family only has backpacks or bags for luggage... Who gives a crap what kind of luggage you have...
Second, I have NEVER in my 60 years of life EVER had to attend a family gathering where we had to wear formal type clothes....
Third, the yahoos on here who have a hard time believing an adult has no "formal or decent" clothes need to get a life.. Not everyone goes to formal or even dressy events... My wife and I certainly do not.... NO, we do NOT go to the symphony, NO, I have NEVER had a job where a "client" or my Boss asked me to dinner, And I have been to funerals in jeans and a decent shirt... The deceased do not care and as for the family members who are butts about the clothes they should be thankful a person even makes an appearance....
This is just me, but I would tell them if the luggage and clothes mean so much to you, I can either skip the Holidays or you can buy me something you like instead.....
I think you need some more info on what they consider "formal." But you can obtain for very little a pair of comfy, slim knit pants and you can wear an oversized dressy tee or shirt. Find a cheap or used pair of mary janes or other shoes, dressier than sneakers, and I think you will have a look.
I own nothing that would be considered formal. I bought a beautiful, deep red silk shirt that I intend to wear for Christmas. I found it at the Goodwill for not that much. I intend to be beautiful wearing it, even though I don't wear Christmas red all that well. I will wear it with black jeans or some other black pants. That's about as formal as I get these days.
tamara, could not help to notice you said you "lost alot of weight". This could be key as to why you do not have a skirt and formal wear. Losing weight myself, I can say I did dressed kind of sloppy, when I was overweight, and the clothing did not fit me well, and I could care less. Holidays was always me and some bluejeans, and a sweater one size too big, or an tucked dress shirt. Have to say , I did not fit my clothes well, and had a complex because of my weight.
Maybe now is the time to re evaluate your appearance.Women do have it a little better, as some leggings, and a decent top would be all you may need. Use a steamer or iron at the families home, and have items ironed there. You may be able to pick up something at the airport, as times have changed since 9/11. The clothing in your back pack already, should look better on you, since you have lost some weight. If the clothing is dirty/smelly, give it a little wash in the sink, and air dry, should take about 5 hours to hang dry.
Brother mentioning to dress formal, may be a kind hint, that he would like everyone to dress like adults. I doubt he expects you to wear a gown, or get dolled up to the 9's. Perhaps family picture would look better with fresh pressed clothing, over some torn jeans, and a floppy sweatshirt.
Over the years, I got over this madness of trying to impress people, or conform to some rules. I dress for myself, to feel comfortable , and presentable. It used to be the worst, when taking vacation, and the all inclusive have a policy for formal dress. I used to scramble to find some slacks, shoes and a nice dress shirt, only to find others dress as they please. As long as clothing is pressed and clean, not tattered and looking like a beggar, I am good to go.
Afterall, will they ask you to leave, or made to feel uncomfortable, because you do not dress good enough for them?
If it were me, and without knowing how "formal" formal is, I'd wear one of those 25 yard skirts you say you have with a peasant blouse (if you have one). I recommend no belly button showing. If anything needs ironing, there is almost always an iron and ironing board in hotel rooms these days and I'm certain your family will have one if there isn't one at the hotel. Or try throwing the clothes in a dryer with a wet towel for 10-15 minutes to get rid of wrinkles.
As for shoes, would they even show with a skirt that long? If not, wear whatever works for you.
let's define formal wear. are we talking suit and tie?
I'm one of "those" Mom's. yes, I do require that my 20 somethings look half way decent when they go out with me. My youngest is a college student and lives in sweats that sag off his backside. I have a rule, you want me to pay for dinner, I want you to wear a pair of pants where I don't see your draws.
Go with it op, once a year is not too much to ask to clean yourself up.
If it were me, and without knowing how "formal" formal is, I'd wear one of those 25 yard skirts you say you have with a peasant blouse (if you have one). I recommend no belly button showing. If anything needs ironing, there is almost always an iron and ironing board in hotel rooms these days and I'm certain your family will have one if there isn't one at the hotel. Or try throwing the clothes in a dryer with a wet towel for 10-15 minutes to get rid of wrinkles.
As for shoes, would they even show with a skirt that long? If not, wear whatever works for you.
I'd feel like The Bionic Woman in the Vincent Price episode, "Black Magic" where a relative commented, "I see your time in the circus has influenced how you dress.".
STILL, it's not a bad idea......right now, at least. See what I have around for a western blouse, black boots, garter belt and stockings, lots of silver and dance jewelry. Totally be myself, a younger Stevie Nicks gone bionic!
As it stands today, that is. Something like that could produce a lot of output energy because it is quite theatrical.
So I'll have to see if any common sense should be there in the next few days. Thank you, though.
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Originally Posted by eliza61nyc
let's define formal wear. are we talking suit and tie?
I'm one of "those" Mom's. yes, I do require that my 20 somethings look half way decent when they go out with me. My youngest is a college student and lives in sweats that sag off his backside. I have a rule, you want me to pay for dinner, I want you to wear a pair of pants where I don't see your draws.
Go with it op, once a year is not too much to ask to clean yourself up.
Once a year, probably not but once a year with notice in the shortest week, probably yes.
Especially when traveling for something like this could easily be an endurance run. That is, the flight leaves the airport that is an hour away at 7 AM, arrive (finally) at their city at 1:30 PM. Dinner that night, day of gathering the next, depart the following day at 8 AM, get home to my airport (that is an hour away from home) at 12 noon....and then go to work 12 hours later.
I honestly don't think he has approached this with me as most day people see night people, that one has all the time in the world. I think he just doesn't understand how travel for me is different for him.
Now, as I said above, it might be possible, maybe. I was planning to travel with things that if they disappeared, I wouldn't be that concerned about it; dressing formally changes that calculation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kapikap
tamara, could not help to notice you said you "lost alot of weight". This could be key as to why you do not have a skirt and formal wear. Losing weight myself, I can say I did dressed kind of sloppy, when I was overweight, and the clothing did not fit me well, and I could care less. Holidays was always me and some bluejeans, and a sweater one size too big, or an tucked dress shirt. Have to say , I did not fit my clothes well, and had a complex because of my weight.
The last time I dressed formally was in 2004; I now have my 1996 body.
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........ You may be able to pick up something at the airport, as times have changed since 9/11.
If you say so for as I have pointed out, I have not flown commercially, been in that part of the airport, since July 2001, since before 9/11.
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The clothing in your back pack already, should look better on you, since you have lost some weight.
My weight loss is a slightly concerning in that even the jeans size I had in 1996, that I bought earlier this year to celebrate....is now falling off my hips. Slightly concerning because I don't think I'm getting that much exercise but perhaps I am with my increased activity level. I mean, being in a wet suit 4 days a week probably has heightened the metabolic activity.
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Brother mentioning to dress formal, may be a kind hint, that he would like everyone to dress like adults.
I don't know what he wants for while I love him, I think at times he is incredibly naive, doesn't have much of a clue how other aspects of society live (such as night or thrifty people), and doesn't realize how his actions can impact on others such as the time he joined in with my cad of a younger brother and tore up my enjoyment of watching an old Space 1999.
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I doubt he expects you to wear a gown, or get dolled up to the 9's. Perhaps family picture would look better with fresh pressed clothing, over some torn jeans, and a floppy sweatshirt.
Well, I am not that but as said before, the best I can do in most situations (the above excepted) is business causal where around here, that means denim.
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......Afterall, will they ask you to leave, or made to feel uncomfortable, because you do not dress good enough for them?
I don't think so. The suggestion came up right after a flurry of messages between him and the other relatives about restaurants.
Last edited by TamaraSavannah; 11-21-2017 at 06:02 AM..
The outfit above may be workable, may even be inexpensive but it is also one time and I am wondering who is it for, me or just for the pleasure of others? At the very least, if I am going to dress for the pleasure of others, I would like to feel nice in it.
I don't work in that kind of environment, fortunately, so it has never been an issue. For one thing, being a grave yard shift worker, even if it did come up, it would be rather impossible. I suppose being an eternal graveyard shift worker for over a quarter of a century probably factors into the situation at hand as well.
As far as the funeral, see somewhere above.
Well, once again, we get back to the same situation of having lived a life that is so different from the rest of the world (when you are a grave yard shift worker, you really are in a life day people do not understand) that what other people take for granted doesn't necessarily exist.
There two angles here. Assuming that I did have something in my closet that made the move that would still fit me and then, there is the sudden changing of flight requirements, from going from wrinkle traveling (which I have the luggage for) to requiring, perhaps unintentionally, dress clothes luggage which I don't have, which would take considerable time to obtain the proper configuration.......and I don't even know the cost of that stuff.
Finally, as I have said, I have not flown in 16 years. I have not been out of Texas in 16 years. If we call Austin the center, then I have been as far north as DFW, as far NE as Huntsville, as far E as Houston, as far SE as Corpus, as far S as southern San Antonio, as far SW as probably the Tower of the Americas, as far W as Fredricksburg, and as far NW as Killeen. That is the extent of my travel for 16 years.
At the very least, we are talking about a situation that has not changed for 13 (last formal) to 16 (travel) years. Then try to compare that to people in a world who are not like that.
but as others have pointed out, looking nice is ridiculously easy and sorry you can't use the job as an excuse to continuously look bummy. I work shift work in chemical research and have to wear a Nomex (those blue jumpsuits you see on tv) so I know how easy it is for years to pass and have no idea of the fashion trends.
suggestion, get through Thanksgiving then go shopping. Get a nice inexpensive pair of black jeans. one tip, save them for times like these and get them dry cleaned, they will look good for a long time.
I have a pair that I've had for 5 years, taking them with me to Thanksgiving dinner. You can use them summer, winter, spring and fall.
My go to outfit is black jeans, white long sleeve shirt (winter), white short sleeve shirt in summer and a scarf to add color.
I have 1 pair of black flats. now I invested some money in them because I wanted a nice pair of leather flats that would last. you may not want to. but I paid 200 bucks for them 7 years ago for a trip to Paris, they look great still.
So basically you can get a complete ensemble (lol) for 70 bucks and that can be your go to "adult" outfit.
First of all, my immediate family only has backpacks or bags for luggage... Who gives a crap what kind of luggage you have...
Second, I have NEVER in my 60 years of life EVER had to attend a family gathering where we had to wear formal type clothes....
Third, the yahoos on here who have a hard time believing an adult has no "formal or decent" clothes need to get a life.. Not everyone goes to formal or even dressy events... My wife and I certainly do not.... NO, we do NOT go to the symphony, NO, I have NEVER had a job where a "client" or my Boss asked me to dinner, And I have been to funerals in jeans and a decent shirt... The deceased do not care and as for the family members who are butts about the clothes they should be thankful a person even makes an appearance....
This is just me, but I would tell them if the luggage and clothes mean so much to you, I can either skip the Holidays or you can buy me something you like instead.....
Formal? No, but most people have something above ultra casual wear like a pair of khakis or black pants and a polo for men and a shirt fancier a t-shirt for women. Those are easy enough to find anywhere- like at a place such as Target or Walmart where you’d go to buy travel size items for flying, for instance.
I have conference clothes - synthetic fibers that don't wrinkle. One is a lovely dress that always gets me compliments even though I've been wearing it to the same conference for five years. I ball it up and stuff it in my suitcase. Comes out looking great each time. Stretchy material that drapes nicely, so with my weight fluctuations it still always looks great.
I have conference clothes - synthetic fibers that don't wrinkle. One is a lovely dress that always gets me compliments even though I've been wearing it to the same conference for five years. I ball it up and stuff it in my suitcase. Comes out looking great each time. Stretchy material that drapes nicely, so with my weight fluctuations it still always looks great.
One item I will note is that I don't wear synthetics either in office buildings nor on aircraft. It is the concern about fire and such melting.
Now, in this particular case, I'm not flying in synthetics but cottons, wool, and leather. Any synthetics I would have, minus the field jacket, would be in, probably, checked baggage. The field jacket will be with me flying but it is easily jettisonable, as it goes.
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