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So, why exactly is my wife more within "rights" to say something as opposed to me? Both of our names were used without permission.
Yeah, maybe I have controlling tendencies - when it comes to MY NAME being used! I don't think its unreasonable to expect and demand complete control over that
I think you have a right to be peeved but I think to make it a battlefront when it was probably meant as a nice (even though wrong) gesture. What is the end goal here? You make a big deal about it you risk alienating your mil and hurting your wife . Is it really worth that? You can set healthy boundaries without making a huge fuss. You can say to your mil that it was really generous of her to put the ad in but next time you feel it's something you should pay for and do ,and say it with a smile.
So, why exactly is my wife more within "rights" to say something as opposed to me? Both of our names were used without permission.
Yeah, maybe I have controlling tendencies - when it comes to MY NAME being used! I don't think its unreasonable to expect and demand complete control over that
She made you look a kind, generous, supportive husband and son in law in front of her friends.
Yes, you noticed that most of the responders thought you were over-reacting, but instead of considering that they might be right, you take offense and get sarcastic.
You might want to consider, just consider, that you could be wrong or over-reacting. Is it a little odd? Yes, but so what? No harm was done, and she probably meant it in the nicest way.
I think you might want to figure out what it is inside of you that is taking this so hard. Are you jealous of her in other ways? Do you want your wife all to yourself? Are you possessive and mistrusting in general? Why are you assuming the worst motives from her? Why not assume she meant well?
So, why exactly is my wife more within "rights" to say something as opposed to me? Both of our names were used without permission.
I said YOU are within your rights to have your wife say something. Because that accomplishes two purposes:
1) It sets the boundary with your MIL. Your wife may just be used to this kind of thing from her mom and not realize that it's a problem.
2) It allows you and your wife to communicate and understand how you BOTH feel about this issue and come to some kind of compromise.
However, here you are, throwing a fit ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trottel
Yeah, maybe I have controlling tendencies - when it comes to MY NAME being used! I don't think its unreasonable to expect and demand complete control over that
Guess what ... you are in a marriage now. You are part of a couple that is part of a family. So you can ****** and moan and stomp your feet about "Me! Me! Me!" all you want, but that's not gonna help anything.
You want to draw boundaries, not battle lines. Your goal should be to work toward bringing people together, not pushing them apart.
Of course, if you're the kind of person who can't even fathom wishing strangers merry Christmas, then there's not much hope of you doing all that.
I like how pretty much all the responses criticize ME, yet no one (except maybe 1 person) seems to think what SHE did is strange/abnormal.
Someone else (MIL) thinks they ought to SPEAK for YOU. Yeah sure, nothing to be concerned with there, just go along with whatever she wants. Just tape my mouth shut with duct tape and let her speak for me
If you wanted people to only take your side and tell you how right you were, you should have said so.
[quote=Trottel;50403023]So, why exactly is my wife more within "rights" to say something as opposed to me? Both of our names were used without permission.
Yeah, maybe I have controlling tendencies - when it comes to MY NAME being used! I don't think its unreasonable to expect and demand complete contro
You are within your "rights" to speak to her about this if you really want to do it.
I said YOU are within your rights to have your wife say something. Because that accomplishes two purposes:
1) It sets the boundary with your MIL. Your wife may just be used to this kind of thing from her mom and not realize that it's a problem.
2) It allows you and your wife to communicate and understand how you BOTH feel about this issue and come to some kind of compromise.
However, here you are, throwing a fit ...
Guess what ... you are in a marriage now. You are part of a couple that is part of a family. So you can ****** and moan and stomp your feet about "Me! Me! Me!" all you want, but that's not gonna help anything.
You want to draw boundaries, not battle lines. Your goal should be to work toward bringing people together, not pushing them apart.
Of course, if you're the kind of person who can't even fathom wishing strangers merry Christmas, then there's not much hope of you doing all that.
Exactly! Birdie, I need you to be my therapist, you have the best advice.
Your attitude about the event is lousy, however, I'm with you. Your MIL's actions definitely crosses boundaries and would tick me off as well.
Did your wife know about this ahead of time?
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