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I'm trying to plan the bachelor party and write a best man's speech. I was left out of the gifts they got for my brother and the Colts game and I wouldn' be surprised if they leave me out of other events where they to sporting events or other places.
You are "trying" to plan a bachelor party, or you "are" planning a bachelor party?
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Well, that leaves a lot of room for you to do something simple and local for all the men who might expect to participate, and they can have their expensive out of town wild time and feelings won't be hurt.
It would still hurt me that I can't be at their expensive out of town party especially since I'm the best man.
That's not how it works in certain professions. Police, Corrections, firefighters and military immediately come to mind. I can go to any American Legion or Veterans of Foreign Wars post and I'm with my brothers. Some I've known for decades, others I'll meet for the first time. But we're all brothers with a shared bond.
I don't like that my brother has a shared bond with them because it makes it seem like i'm not good enough for him.
You are "trying" to plan a bachelor party, or you "are" planning a bachelor party?
And out of curiosity, what are you planning?
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanb1181
I don't like that my brother has a shared bond with them because it makes it seem like i'm not good enough for him.
Thing is, if you bow out of your Best Man duties, you'll prove that you're not good enough. You need to talk to your brother. Be calm, tell him your concerns. If you're that close, he'll listen.
I don't like that my brother has a shared bond with them because it makes it seem like i'm not good enough for him.
No it doesn't. You can have bonds with lots of people.
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The bride has two sisters and a much older half brother who lives in Australia most of the year. I know that some male relatives and other friends that my brother has from childhood and high school will be upset about not being invited to the bachelor party.
But did you say that to your brother? Are they invited to the wedding as well?
I would at the very least say to him what you said here and be specific and mention the people by name, if he still insists on just the wedding party, than you can't force it.
But at least verbalize this, and say do you want to hurt people's feelings that you have known longer than you have know these guys?
I don't like that my brother has a shared bond with them because it makes it seem like i'm not good enough for him.
Did your brother have the same shared bond with them before your accident? Because if he had it before, then it doesn't have anything to do with your not being "good enough for him." He asked YOU to be his best man, didn't he? He did NOT ask any of these other guys despite their shared bond. Obviously he still values your presence in his life.
Did your brother have the same shared bond with them before your accident? Because if he had it before, then it doesn't have anything to do with your not being "good enough for him." He asked YOU to be his best man, didn't he? He did NOT ask any of these other guys despite their shared bond. Obviously he still values your presence in his life.
I know he still values me, but at times it feels like he values them more especially since he was ok with me being left out of the Colts game and the gifts they pitched in to get. He didn't stand up for me when I wasn't involved in those things.
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