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How do I politely respond to constant nosey questions about my husbands employment status from family members?
In short. My husband was hurt at work. Due to a contract agreement with employer, he lost his job and could not return. From there economically things took a drastic turn for us. On top of that the economy is awful. We moved to a new state. After his recovery and moving. We had to adjust. It took my husband many, many months to find employment, unfortunately there is no market in his profession were we live making things even tougher. He had to bite the bullet and now is a server at a restaurant. Trust me, we are so beyond grateful. The job market is horrible!! At some point he will, yet again, go back to school to further his education for a greater opportunity.
We've had the constant question "Has he found a job yet?" Well now he has this job, but we want to keep our business to ourselves. We are not embarrassed about his new job. Being a server is an honorable livelihood for many good and hardworking people. My family's constant questions these many months have caused major friction with them, in our marriage, and have created unfair opinions and feeling of inadequacy toward my husband as if he is not capable of caring for me.
When the question comes up.. because it will... How do we respond that yes he has a job, but don't want to elaborate any further?
I don't see how you can NOT tell your family members what he is doing. It's the natural next question after, "Does he have a job?" Plus if they are your family, they will want to know how you are.
I would just say, unapologetically, that he has found a great opportunity as a server at _____restaurant, and then ask them a question about themselves to distract them.
Are you sure they are being nosy, or are they just trying to show care and concern?
When I saw the thread title, my first thought was "just don't answer them." Then I clicked on the thread and read the details.
I agree with Wmsn4Life. It may be embarrassing if he was previously employed as a professional, but they're not trying to be nosy - they (probably) simply care and that's not the worst thing in the world.
I once went from being a Corporate Executive to a Barista/shift manager at a local coffee house due to a layoff. The only people I was embarrassed to tell were potential employers while interviewing.
Your husband has shaken off his setback and has rallied himself to find a way to earn until he can get back to his overall plan, that's just a big bowl of awesome! Be proud of him, and shed people who dare to judge either one of you.
How do I politely respond to constant nosey questions about my husbands employment status from family members?
In short. My husband was hurt at work. Due to a contract agreement with employer, he lost his job and could not return. From there economically things took a drastic turn for us. On top of that the economy is awful. We moved to a new state. After his recovery and moving. We had to adjust. It took my husband many, many months to find employment, unfortunately there is no market in his profession were we live making things even tougher. He had to bite the bullet and now is a server at a restaurant. Trust me, we are so beyond grateful. The job market is horrible!! At some point he will, yet again, go back to school to further his education for a greater opportunity.
We've had the constant question "Has he found a job yet?" Well now he has this job, but we want to keep our business to ourselves. We are not embarrassed about his new job. Being a server is an honorable livelihood for many good and hardworking people. My family's constant questions these many months have caused major friction with them, in our marriage, and have created unfair opinions and feeling of inadequacy toward my husband as if he is not capable of caring for me.
When the question comes up.. because it will... How do we respond that yes he has a job, but don't want to elaborate any further?
This is on YOU and is all about YOUR discomfort with your husbands situation.
There is nothing to be ashamed of, yet you are somehow feeling shame or you wouldn't be having an issue with your family.
When your family asks simply say we are grateful to be getting back on our feet and have a game plan for the future, thanks for asking!
"Yes, he's working - it pays the bills for now, and he's interested in going back to school at some point." That's it, and if they keep asking, turn the tables on them and say "You'll be the first to know if we have any updates, just give us your email address - if you don't hear anything, then nothing new has happen."
Have you ever notice that when you are doing well, then these nosy relatives never ask you about your job, career, etc. but have a setback and they're all on top of you, asking you about your job and prospects at every dinner, lunch, etc.
... say "You'll be the first to know if we have any updates, just give us your email address - if you don't hear anything, then nothing new has happen."
Being a server is an honorable livelihood for many good and hardworking people.
Well, it's not all that. It's mainly a way to hold body and soul together.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Bride
When the question comes up.. because it will... How do we respond that yes he has a job, but don't want to elaborate any further?
A wee bit defensive, are you?
As someone who's dealt with the issue, my advice is to say "we're just trying to hold body and soul together, cut us a little slack."
How do I politely respond to constant nosey questions about my husbands employment status from family members?
In short. My husband was hurt at work. Due to a contract agreement with employer, he lost his job and could not return. From there economically things took a drastic turn for us. On top of that the economy is awful. We moved to a new state. After his recovery and moving. We had to adjust. It took my husband many, many months to find employment, unfortunately there is no market in his profession were we live making things even tougher. He had to bite the bullet and now is a server at a restaurant. Trust me, we are so beyond grateful. The job market is horrible!! At some point he will, yet again, go back to school to further his education for a greater opportunity.
We've had the constant question "Has he found a job yet?" Well now he has this job, but we want to keep our business to ourselves. We are not embarrassed about his new job. Being a server is an honorable livelihood for many good and hardworking people. My family's constant questions these many months have caused major friction with them, in our marriage, and have created unfair opinions and feeling of inadequacy toward my husband as if he is not capable of caring for me.
When the question comes up.. because it will... How do we respond that yes he has a job, but don't want to elaborate any further?
If you really are not embarrassed by his new job you would not hesitate to tell anyone who asks that he has a job now and things are slowly putting you in a better position.
Otherwise, tell them he has a job and change the subject but it still appears you are ashamed of his position.
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