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Two weeks ago a friend sent me a text inviting me and my daughter out to dinner Friday night as she was traveling out of state the next week and wanted to see us before she left. She wanted to know if we wanted to have pizza at the local pizza joint or just order in. I told her she could just get a $5 pizza at Little Caesars as my 9 year old is easy to please, no need in spending any real money. I get to her house after picking up my daughter from school around 4:15 and she has cash in her hand. I thought maybe she was waiting for the delivery guy. She proceeds to tell me that the money she had withdrew for her trip is slowly dwindling down. I didn't think anything of it, but by 5:45 when the pizza hadn't arrived and I realized she had no intentions of ordering one we got our stuff and left.
Is it me or is it a lot of freaking nerve to invite someone over to dinner and then expect them to order it and pay for it? She didn't even offer my child a glass of water or a damn snack!!
On a different note, I'm planning a 1,400 mile road trip to Florida in the summer with my daughter and this same friend has invited herself to tag along. Part of me is wondering if this is a good idea and the other part of me wouldn't mind the company of traveling with another adult in the car. I plan on making several stops along the way, visiting a few states. I've mentioned to her that she will have to have her own money for meals, excursion, etc. but this last experience has got me wondering and shaking my head!
Bad idea: abort, abort. This doesn't seem to be much of a friend, and even is she does have redeeming qualities of some kind, there's too much potential for weird problems on the road trip, of the sort you already experienced with her. You're not that desperate for adult company on the drive, I hope.
So, let me get this straight; your friend invited you to a cheap pizza dinner, but when you arrived, she didn't even have $5 or $10 for a pizza? Really?? How was she planning to buy groceries for herself? Does she really live that close to the economic edge?
Too bizarre, OP. I'd dial back this friendship. And I sure wouldn't go on a multi-day road trip with her! She invited herself? Is that normal, in this friendship? How did you respond, when she took it for granted that she'd be welcome on the trip? I would've been tempted to say something like, "That's great, because I'm short on gas and hotel money, and could really use the help with that".
Bad idea: abort, abort. This doesn't seem to be much of a friend, and even is she does have redeeming qualities of some kind, there's too much potential for weird problems on the road trip, of the sort you already experienced with her. You're not that desperate for adult company on the drive, I hope.
So, let me get this straight; your friend invited you to a cheap pizza dinner, but when you arrived, she didn't even have $5 or $10 for a pizza? Really?? How was she planning to buy groceries for herself? Does she really live that close to the economic edge?
Too bizarre, OP. I'd dial back this friendship. And I sure wouldn't go on a multi-day road trip with her! She invited herself? Is that normal, in this friendship? How did you respond, when she took it for granted that she'd be welcome on the trip? I would've been tempted to say something like, "That's great, because I'm short on gas and hotel money, and could really use the help with that".
That sounds pretty odd.
I can see misunderstandings if friends invite friends to restaurants (some pick up the tab, some expect to go Dutch, some split costs down the middle), but not when they invite you to their home for dinner.
She is going to take advantage of you. She thinks this will be a cheap trip for her since she will be staying in the motel you are paying for. Since you were going to pay for all the gas for car before she planned to hop a ride with you don't expect her to chip in on gas. All the extra side trips will cost you extra money your friend probably won't have the money for. Is she going to sit in car waiting for you. Then she will get annoyed because she doesn't want to do those things. One one hand it may be nice to have another adult with you on your trip, but maybe not.
Exceptionally rude and a preview of what your trip with her along would be.
I thought so too! This has bothered me so and she's still away visiting her family so I haven't been able to speak to her about it. But my Lord, even a frozen pizza would've been better than nothing!!
Bad idea: abort, abort. This doesn't seem to be much of a friend, and even is she does have redeeming qualities of some kind, there's too much potential for weird problems on the road trip, of the sort you already experienced with her. You're not that desperate for adult company on the drive, I hope.
So, let me get this straight; your friend invited you to a cheap pizza dinner, but when you arrived, she didn't even have $5 or $10 for a pizza? Really?? How was she planning to buy groceries for herself? Does she really live that close to the economic edge?
Too bizarre, OP. I'd dial back this friendship. And I sure wouldn't go on a multi-day road trip with her! She invited herself? Is that normal, in this friendship? How did you respond, when she took it for granted that she'd be welcome on the trip? I would've been tempted to say something like, "That's great, because I'm short on gas and hotel money, and could really use the help with that".
She's been going through some personal problems that I feel in the last 5 or 6 months have brought out a totally different side of her. As for adult company, I was taking the safety factor into consideration. Another adult vs me alone with my 9 year old traveling down roads I've never been before. This is our first road trip to Florida.
I am a real verbal person but I gotta admit the whole "come over for dinner but I'm not buying anything or making anything" bit really took me off guard!! I went to NY with her once and yes she invited herself and we ended up having a nice time. But this last experience has left me with my mouth gaping open! I know myself, and if she comes along on this road trip and has no money for anything, I'd have no problem driving her to greyhound station so she can catch a ride home. It would be the end of our friendship.
I can see misunderstandings if friends invite friends to restaurants (some pick up the tab, some expect to go Dutch, some split costs down the middle), but not when they invite you to their home for dinner.
Exactly!! I have taken her out to eat on several occasions for her birthday, when she came to visit me up in my cabin more than once. I thought she was just reciprocating when she invited us to dinner. But to just sit there and keep chatting away in your home like the invite wasn't for dinner has really irked me to no end!!
She is going to take advantage of you. She thinks this will be a cheap trip for her since she will be staying in the motel you are paying for. Since you were going to pay for all the gas for car before she planned to hop a ride with you don't expect her to chip in on gas. All the extra side trips will cost you extra money your friend probably won't have the money for. Is she going to sit in car waiting for you. Then she will get annoyed because she doesn't want to do those things. One one hand it may be nice to have another adult with you on your trip, but maybe not.
I'm starting to dread the idea that this trip may end up exactly as you stated! I'd leave her sitting in the hotel by the pool, eating out of the vending machine (if that's all she can afford)!!
Two weeks ago a friend sent me a text inviting me and my daughter out to dinner Friday night as she was traveling out of state the next week and wanted to see us before she left. She wanted to know if we wanted to have pizza at the local pizza joint or just order in. I told her she could just get a $5 pizza at Little Caesars as my 9 year old is easy to please, no need in spending any real money. I get to her house after picking up my daughter from school around 4:15 and she has cash in her hand. I thought maybe she was waiting for the delivery guy. She proceeds to tell me that the money she had withdrew for her trip is slowly dwindling down. I didn't think anything of it, but by 5:45 when the pizza hadn't arrived and I realized she had no intentions of ordering one we got our stuff and left.
Is it me or is it a lot of freaking nerve to invite someone over to dinner and then expect them to order it and pay for it? She didn't even offer my child a glass of water or a damn snack!!
On a different note, I'm planning a 1,400 mile road trip to Florida in the summer with my daughter and this same friend has invited herself to tag along. Part of me is wondering if this is a good idea and the other part of me wouldn't mind the company of traveling with another adult in the car. I plan on making several stops along the way, visiting a few states. I've mentioned to her that she will have to have her own money for meals, excursion, etc. but this last experience has got me wondering and shaking my head!
What do you think??
So a friend invites you out. You say to her a $5 pizza is fine. She greets you with NO pizza but with money in hand. And she doesn't tell you what she wants you to do with the money or even that she wants you to take it. And after an hour and a half of...what...there's still no dinner. That woman can wait out her game, can't she.
That's called passive aggressive. Passive is an adjective...meaning aggressive is the key word.
She tells you she has a week trip planned.
BEFORE she leaves on the trip her money is already dwindling.
Yeah, that's the person you want to be with in close quarters on a 1400 mile trip.
If you can't detach yourself from this aggressive freeloader then detach your daughter from her oppressive presence. Get a phrase if you need to to help you stick with your daughter. No 'sorry'. Just that trip...time with my daughter is too precious. Need a mother daughter time just her and me.
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