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At least now you know that you would need to spell out everything regarding money, meals, food, gas, and every other thing that costs $$ in no uncertain terms. She seems clueless, or can't admit that she's badly off financially. In an oddly positive way you know you can't take anything for granted with this particular "friend".
It's an odd situation. If I asked a friend to come over and we'll order a pizza, I'd expect them to chip in. If I invited them over for a meal I was preparing, I'd expect to cover the cost of the food. It's different, but I can't put my finger on why.
Two weeks ago a friend sent me a text inviting me and my daughter out to dinner Friday night as she was traveling out of state the next week and wanted to see us before she left. She wanted to know if we wanted to have pizza at the local pizza joint or just order in. I told her she could just get a $5 pizza at Little Caesars as my 9 year old is easy to please, no need in spending any real money. I get to her house after picking up my daughter from school around 4:15 and she has cash in her hand. I thought maybe she was waiting for the delivery guy. She proceeds to tell me that the money she had withdrew for her trip is slowly dwindling down. I didn't think anything of it, but by 5:45 when the pizza hadn't arrived and I realized she had no intentions of ordering one we got our stuff and left.
Is it me or is it a lot of freaking nerve to invite someone over to dinner and then expect them to order it and pay for it? She didn't even offer my child a glass of water or a damn snack!!
On a different note, I'm planning a 1,400 mile road trip to Florida in the summer with my daughter and this same friend has invited herself to tag along. Part of me is wondering if this is a good idea and the other part of me wouldn't mind the company of traveling with another adult in the car. I plan on making several stops along the way, visiting a few states. I've mentioned to her that she will have to have her own money for meals, excursion, etc. but this last experience has got me wondering and shaking my head!
What do you think??
What, exactly, did the text say? Did it say "I'd like to take you to dinner" or did it say "we should get together for dinner?" Check your phone for the old texts and tell us what they actually said, not how you interpreted them. For someone to get to the "lot of freaking nerve" stage over a miscommunication about a five dollar pizza is a sure sign that this is not a good set of travel companions.
She's been going through some personal problems that I feel in the last 5 or 6 months have brought out a totally different side of her. As for adult company, I was taking the safety factor into consideration. Another adult vs me alone with my 9 year old traveling down roads I've never been before. This is our first road trip to Florida.
I am a real verbal person but I gotta admit the whole "come over for dinner but I'm not buying anything or making anything" bit really took me off guard!! I went to NY with her once and yes she invited herself and we ended up having a nice time. But this last experience has left me with my mouth gaping open! I know myself, and if she comes along on this road trip and has no money for anything, I'd have no problem driving her to greyhound station so she can catch a ride home. It would be the end of our friendship.
Thanks for confirming I'm not nuts!!
If you are worried about safety, find a reliable adult or stick to the main roads. Your 'friend' will turn what was to be a pleasant road trip into a trip filled with anger and bickering. She will be expecting you to cover her meals and hotel room and you will be angry at her freeloading ways.
Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron
Yes.
Uninvite her and spend quality time with your daughter...
She didn't invite her- the friend invited herself. She can however tell her that she can't come on this particular trip.
You are only nuts if you take her along on this trip which most likely she wont have the money for anything including food so I would tell her sorry you are not taking the trip after all and you and your daughter go by yourselves and have a great time. FYI this woman Is clearly not a friend , a moocher comes more to mind than a friend . She invited you and your daughter to her house and she clearly never intended to get the pizza in the first place and just wanted to see if you would pay for it . I don't need so called friends like that so move on and dump her .
What, exactly, did the text say? Did it say "I'd like to take you to dinner" or did it say "we should get together for dinner?" Check your phone for the old texts and tell us what they actually said, not how you interpreted them. For someone to get to the "lot of freaking nerve" stage over a miscommunication about a five dollar pizza is a sure sign that this is not a good set of travel companions.
Agreed. And I can't imagine vacationing with somebody who I can't even broach the subject of ordering dinner with. Honestly OP, how well do you know this friend?
It would have cost you $5 to order a pizza for your child. When you have kids, it isn't time to stand on principle, they need to be fed. You should have spoken up and asked if your friend was ordering and if not, placed the call yourself. Unless, of course, you have written this friend off, in which case, heck no on the trip.
I'm starting to dread the idea that this trip may end up exactly as you stated! I'd leave her sitting in the hotel by the pool, eating out of the vending machine (if that's all she can afford)!!
Depends on the friend. With some people I always expect to pay.
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