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Last I checked this was 2018. Its not unusual for a man to stay home and the woman to be the bread winner nowadays. I thought those gender defining ways were a thing of the past? If the roles were reversed would we still be saying these things? Perhaps he is good a keeping the household together while she goes to work? Personally its not how I live my life but that's me. Just looking at it from another angle.
Sure. Perhaps he cleans the house while she goes to work.
Because it's her step-daughter. And her best friend's daughter. And her husband's daughter.
Is that enough reasons? Sometimes, in spite of one's best efforts to compartmentalize life, and say "tough luck. Glad it's not my (blood) daughter", things spill over from one (or more) compartment/s in to one's own.
Doesn't matter! OP can't do anything to change the situation, her step-daughter is an adult.
OP, all you can do is pray and set firm boundaries, don't give them any money.
I will just say that after 7 years of going through a similar situation, my daughter threw her UA out! She's finally done. We're all rejoicing! She had to come to the decision herself.
Also, when he left, he even told her, "I bet your parents will be happy I'm gone." Yes, yes we are!
She is 40, maybe overweight, maybe not the hottest girl in town, certainly not the youngest one. A 3 or maybe 4.
He, on the other hand is maybe a 6 or a 7. We don't know.
She needs to bring something to the equation. And that what she do.
I don't see a problem here.
Why do you think that a woman in her 40-s with tons of debts deserves a hunk with golden heart and brains?
I think the point is that she can do badly all by herself. She doesn’t need a man around period if he’s going to be a loser. But she’s a grown woman so that’s her decision to make.
OP, there's a difference between a "gold-digger" and a garden-variety mooch. Your step-D doesn't have any gold to dig. She doesn't own her home, she's heavily in debt. I don't know why the term "gold-digger" seems so popular, these days. Or, at least--on internet relationship forums.
Anyway, he's not a gold-digger. He's just a deadbeat. If the mom, your bestie, is concerned about the implications for the distant future, and if the daughter is her only child, she can lock up any inheritance she might have been planning for the daughter, in a trust (including the house), so the guy can't get at it. That's all that can be done. Mom can consult with an estate lawyer, if she's concerned.
This right here. Frankly daughter doesn't sound much better, except to her mother. I wouldn't be thrilled with her if I had a self supporting son, her age and he brought her home.
Parents failed her on not teaching her about CC debt. And letting her live in one of their homes.
On the other hand, the OP could take a pro-active approach and see if she can't find a job for the "UA" and nudge him into it? She could find out what his background is and maybe he would qualify for some jobs. A lot of people might be considered as shiftless, if they hadn't gotten lucky at some point in their lives and fallen into a good, long-term job. Rather than holding this guy in contempt and considering him as hopeless, at least give this approach a try.
Last I checked this was 2018. Its not unusual for a man to stay home and the woman to be the bread winner nowadays. I thought those gender defining ways were a thing of the past? If the roles were reversed would we still be saying these things? Perhaps he is good a keeping the household together while she goes to work? Personally its not how I live my life but that's me. Just looking at it from another angle.
Stay home to do what? There aren't any kids to take care of. The cleaning can be done in one afternoon/week.
Stay home to do what? There aren't any kids to take care of. The cleaning can be done in one afternoon/week.
Plenty of household chores to do during the week so to keep the weekends free to spend with time with his queen. Plus he could very well be Mr Fix it around the house who knows? My projects are never ending around my house. This morning alone I just installed a new dishwasher. I am just giving the guy the benefit of the doubt with my 2018 eyes to the new world we live in.
I think the point is that she can do badly all by herself. She doesn’t need a man around period if he’s going to be a loser. But she’s a grown woman so that’s her decision to make.
So if a man stays home he's a loser and if a woman stays home she's a what?
So if a man stays home he's a loser and if a woman stays home she's a what?
He’s not her husband, so I’m not going to compare him to a SAHM. As I said, she’s a grown woman so she can do whatever she wants, but I personally wouldn’t have a jobless, carless man living in MY house.
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