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Others host but not as regularly. Many of our friends don't have the space, time or resources to put together social events. We are happy to provide some social outlet. But to be honest, this particular guest has a few other red flags about advantage taking. For example, her child is very fond of us and asks to visit with us often. We are happy to spend time with her, but mom will be hours late picking her up with some excuse. This has happened more than once.
I had a young mother tell me, that in the summer, when they go to pool parties, where the parents bring their kids, her and her hubby usually end up staying at the pool to keep an eye on all the kids, otherwise no one would be watching in case a kid gets in trouble. The parents come and just dump them all at the pool, while they mingle and drink.
She wouldn't accept payment is the way I read that. Nor should she. When you host people in your home it is expected that they enjoy what you bring and do not offer compensation in exchange.
If I like a friend enough to invite them into my home and share a meal with them, I wouldn't be upset if said friend made a comment like that. In fact, my friends would be some of the few who could do so and not have me get pissed!
I'd consider myself lucky to be invited. I'd probably ask if there's anything I can bring. I certainly would NOT ask the host for anything. Not keen on sushi and so certainly would not enjoy leftover sushi. Yea, I like tacos but if I want tacos, there are so many other days that I can do tacos. So, like sushi, the guest can get sushi the next day.
feel the same way...and I'd ask as well, hey, maybe the OP would invite us?
As a parent of a child who can be a picky eater, there's a simple solution: bring food for our child. To think a host would plan a meal or make a special order for a child is simply selfish on the part of the parent(s).
The sooner a child learns the world doesn't revolve around them, the less shock they will endure trying to learn that lesson as an adult.
As a parent of a child who can be a picky eater, there's a simple solution: bring food for our child. To think a host would plan a meal or make a special order for a child is simply selfish on the part of the parent(s).
The sooner a child learns the world doesn't revolve around them, the less shock they will endure trying to learn that lesson as an adult.
I have a regular gathering at my house once a month or so. Adults and occasionally a few kids who come with their parents who are our friends. I generally get some kind of simple meal delivered-- usually sandwiches/chicken/pizza if the kids are coming as a few can be very picky eaters. I never ask for anyone to contribute or what their order might be. I have food (and drink) available. If the guests want it, its there. If not, no big deal.
I asked the regulars if they were coming to the next one and what time. Its is over dinner time so I had planned to order food as I usually do. One is coming with a very picky eater child who happens to love one of the menu offerings I typically have. When responding that she was coming, mom made a comment that she (mom) "loves sushi" and I said "well it will probably be sandwiches as usual." She then pushed a bit for Indian or Thai and intimated that I should provide her with a separate meal.
Because these are guests in my home I am happy to pay for the meals/snacks/whatever. But this request seems a little rude. This individual has never once offered to bring food for her kid as many of the parents do, or pay for their meal (again, wouldn't accept it, but she has never made the gesture.) Her child is sweet but will literally only eat one thing, which thankfully is popular with others too. Now mom wants me to spring for a different cuisine or menu item for her, the adult? Strikes me as a bit rude. What do you think?
It's your choice - ask for input and open the door to a dozen different requests or simply tell people in advance what will be available and if they want to bring their own they can.
We host a backyard bbq/party a few times a year. There's always plenty of food and we try to include a range of options (meat, chicken, salads, etc.) so everyone can have something. We do let people know what will be available as a courtesy. We never ask for input from people - that's a pandora's box I'm not opening. If somebody "suggested" a specific food I'd "suggest" a good place in the neighborhood where they could stop in and pick up on their way over. On the flip side, when we go to someone else's home we will bring specific things for our kids if we know they're not going to eat what's on offer. I don't expect other people to go so far out of their way to make special meals for my kids.
I don't know the exact circumstances of the OP, but if I'm providing food, people get what they get. I think it is pretty ballsy for someone to request "hey, how about something special just for me?" If you asked for input on what you could do differently, that's one thing. I'd chalk that up as simply being rude. If someone is providing me a meal, I say "Thank you" whether I like it or not. I wouldn't say "Hey, make me something else."
I agree.....it's extremely rude to ask a host to provide a special meal for the kid, or have a say in anything that is served. If the kid is so picky, the parent should bring a special meal the kid will eat. It's not up to the host to do it.
it's one thing to offer to bring something, but to suggest a menu change is extremely rude....
and I agree, you eat what is put before you or you just don't eat...making something different or special is for the birds...no way....
my two sisters are picky and extremely vocal about what they don't like, to the point of being down right snobs...
LOL, I wonder if the OP would be Roseann Barr, what kind of response she'd give that person who wanted a special menu change. lol
Well this is just me being my picky self, but I often can't/ won't eat already made sandwiches because I have never cared for, and wont eat, mayonnaise, mustard or slices of cheese. If someone provides sandwiches with these condiments on them I just say that I'm not hungry and eat whatever chips or sides are provided and wait until I leave to get something to eat. They used to do this all the time at work (provide sandwiches during a working lunch) and I always went hungry. I don't know if this is what you're serving, but this is what happens to me all the time.
Maybe you should ask what others might like? or switch it up with fried chicken, pizza, soup, or chili next time. I usually get pizza and get two kinds, one veggie, and one with meat. I'd hate to be rude, but if everytime I came over you served ready made sandwiches with mayo or mustard, I'd start bringing something I could eat with me, and bring plenty to share. Maybe try doing it potluck?
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