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I’m feeling sort of blue despite the fact I’m the one who told her I was tired of the ongoing drama.
She was having an affair with a mutual friend because her marriage is dead. Our friend told her he didn’t love her and never would, even after a six month thing between them. She was jealous of all of his female friends and many of his male friends. I was tired of walking on eggshells and of hearing about the latest iteration of who snapped at whom. She called me crying that he’d broken her heart. I told her to stop going to his house everyday. She’d rented a room to use as a studio. She started going there more often to guard her territory. Our other friends gave her similar advice. Her lover told her the same, yet she persists. He needs the rent money. They would invite me over regularly for tea then she’d complain we were not including her in our conversations because she’s obtusely quiet.
It’s a sick situation and I was starting to dread her texts and calls. I’d stopped going over there. She kept inviting me out for lunch when I was working. She told me she missed me.
Finally I had to tell her I was tired of the drama.
Give it time. Maybe if she doesn't have someone there patting her hand and saying, "There, there" she'll wake up to the reality of the changes she needs to make.
I was best friends with someone for a few years. At some point, they started behaving in ways that made me uncomfortable (the kind of things that would normally make me think someone was a bad person, but since they were my friend I gave them leeway and tried to accept it as a "nobody's perfect" thing). Then I found out they'd done something to totally betray my trust that was unforgivable and I ended the friendship.
It really hurt to end the friendship (even though it was their fault) in the first few days, and I still felt sad about it for a week or two after, but then I started feeling better and was glad I didn't have to deal with them anymore.
If you got to the point where you were "walking on eggshells" around your friend and dreading your friend's texts and calls, then ending the friendship was the right thing to do. It's normal to feel sad about ending a relationship that was important to you, but it's only temporary. I guarantee that you'll start feeling better about it in a few days or weeks.
I was best friends with someone for a few years. At some point, they started behaving in ways that made me uncomfortable (the kind of things that would normally make me think someone was a bad person, but since they were my friend I gave them leeway and tried to accept it as a "nobody's perfect" thing). Then I found out they'd done something to totally betray my trust that was unforgivable and I ended the friendship.
It really hurt to end the friendship (even though it was their fault) in the first few days, and I still felt sad about it for a week or two after, but then I started feeling better and was glad I didn't have to deal with them anymore.
If you got to the point where you were "walking on eggshells" around your friend and dreading your friend's texts and calls, then ending the friendship was the right thing to do. It's normal to feel sad about ending a relationship that was important to you, but it's only temporary. I guarantee that you'll start feeling better about it in a few days or weeks.
Thanks. I was really hoping she’d behave a little more sensibly but she seems bound and determined to stick with a bad course. It’s almost like she’s delusional.
Hopefully, I’ll think of her less in a few weeks. I’d been actively avoiding her and now that I’ve openly removed myself from the situation, I feel worse rather than better.
Give it time. Maybe if she doesn't have someone there patting her hand and saying, "There, there" she'll wake up to the reality of the changes she needs to make.
To me that would be worth losing the friendship.
I agree. Having had you to use as a constant sounding board.....and inviting you over as a buffer.... having you run interference....has kept her, actually both of them from facing the truth.
So, you may not realize it, but you are doing her a favor in the long run.
Live your life. One day she'll get in touch with you again.
I’m feeling sort of blue despite the fact I’m the one who told her I was tired of the ongoing drama.
She was having an affair with a mutual friend because her marriage is dead. Our friend told her he didn’t love her and never would, even after a six month thing between them. She was jealous of all of his female friends and many of his male friends. I was tired of walking on eggshells and of hearing about the latest iteration of who snapped at whom. She called me crying that he’d broken her heart. I told her to stop going to his house everyday. She’d rented a room to use as a studio. She started going there more often to guard her territory. Our other friends gave her similar advice. Her lover told her the same, yet she persists. He needs the rent money. They would invite me over regularly for tea then she’d complain we were not including her in our conversations because she’s obtusely quiet.
It’s a sick situation and I was starting to dread her texts and calls. I’d stopped going over there. She kept inviting me out for lunch when I was working. She told me she missed me.
Finally I had to tell her I was tired of the drama.
It’ll be alright, won’t it?
Just to be out of that drama would be such a relief to me. I think if it were me, I would've resented being pulled in to it in the first place.
I'm tired of the Drama Lama's...... I'm getting too old for that stuff.
Have a problem, need my help? I'm there for you. Have a problem EVERY WEEK, need my help? I'll try, but...... Have the same problem over and over again and need my help over and over again? Now it becomes MY problem and Mamma doesn't need any more problems. I can only pick up so many pieces.
I’m feeling sort of blue despite the fact I’m the one who told her I was tired of the ongoing drama.
She was having an affair with a mutual friend because her marriage is dead. Our friend told her he didn’t love her and never would, even after a six month thing between them. She was jealous of all of his female friends and many of his male friends. I was tired of walking on eggshells and of hearing about the latest iteration of who snapped at whom. She called me crying that he’d broken her heart. I told her to stop going to his house everyday. She’d rented a room to use as a studio. She started going there more often to guard her territory. Our other friends gave her similar advice. Her lover told her the same, yet she persists. He needs the rent money. They would invite me over regularly for tea then she’d complain we were not including her in our conversations because she’s obtusely quiet.
It’s a sick situation and I was starting to dread her texts and calls. I’d stopped going over there. She kept inviting me out for lunch when I was working. She told me she missed me.
Finally I had to tell her I was tired of the drama.
It’ll be alright, won’t it?
That's such a shame but friendships should not be draining and you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells with friends. I'm all for weeding out the bad people in life, the drama queens, the angry at the world people with all the negative energy. People should be positive and bring positive energy in your life. My theory is if you're not lifting me up, then you're just bringing me down!!
Give it time. It will be alright.
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