Niece wants to abort baby, her bf wants to keep baby. What to do? (member, money)
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But then with her depression and learning disabilities, is she mentally sound to go through a pregnancy? Who will be paying for her medical bills? If she doesn't want a baby, nor does she want to be pregnant, she really only has one option at this point.
I don't know the girl. Only the aunt does, so only she could answer I guess. Lord knows, plenty of girls have suffered depression after having an abortion too. I just said what I would do, since OP asked.
Well, it's already been a month. Depending on how quickly she learned she was pregnant, the decision will be made for her soon.
Ignore the BF's parents. You owe them nothing--not even a conversation about how you spend your money or support your niece. They are strangers to you.
Continue to support your niece in whatever decision SHE makes. It is hers alone and definitely not the young man's parents' decision. And yes, I expect some backlash for that statement.
Whatever she decides to do one thing you could do for her is get her on birth control...she gets nothing from you unless she agrees to it and sticks with it until she is able to provide for a family of her own. The whole mess could have been avoided from the start. Learning disability or not, she has got to know that.
No problem. The BF can have the fetus transferred to his uterus and undertake all the risks of pregnancy, birth, and childrearing himself.
Oh, wait. Never mind.
No uterus, no say in the matter.
And what guarantee does she have that the BF or his parents will be so eager to take over after the birth? It is far more likely that they will wash their hands of the whole thing once they are sure that she will be sufficiently "punished" by being forced to continue the pregnancy and give birth.
Forcing a young woman to carry to term and deliver a baby against her wishes is indeed punishment and could have serious psychological effects....
She's not in a concentration camp with men as directors of procreation.
That is my issue, btw...I say keep your laws off our female bodies.
The reason I am asking this question is because I have, whether I like or not, gotten in the middle of all this drama. My sister and her husband will not pay for the abortion despite the fact they want my niece to get an abortion. They are extremely upset that my niece got pregnant in the first place, and refuse to pitch in financially. So I am paying for the abortion and have been offering emotional support to my niece( who has been through some emotional issues). My sister and her husband engage in tough love parenting, I do not, which is why she calls me a lot and comes to my house daily.
My niece's bfs family has found out that I may pay for this abortion depending on niece's decision, and have begged me to not do it. They are nice people but they have also now dragged me into this drama. I am trying to butt out like I mentioned in the first post, but I am curious if anyone who has been through a similar situation and what advice would you give my niece or other family members?
The only person who needs advice here is you: STAY OUT OF IT. And stop blaming other people for "dragging you into the drama." You put yourself there by agreeing to pay for the abortion.
I feel very sorry for the boyfriend not having a say in this matter. If he and his parents want to help raise the child, I don't see what the problem is. Why is your sister so against the boyfriend's wishes?
Why are YOU so against this girl, who finds herself in a very difficult spot? Forcing her to have a baby...?
Those who think your way are bereft of empathy and understanding.
Some families are more involved with each other and become involved when needed.
Some family members also know not to overstep boundaries when it comes to raising other relatives' children when the parents are obviously not deadbeats. No way in hell would I step in and try to raise my brothers' kids, especially if it meant going against their authority.
Putting aside personal opinions about abortion or how the parents are handling this what you are doing is undermining your sister and her husband and you jhave put yourself right in the middle. The best advice I can offer is that you direct your niece to getting counseling and to resolve this with the parents.
I feel very sorry for the boyfriend not having a say in this matter. If he and his parents want to help raise the child, I don't see what the problem is. Why is your sister so against the boyfriend's wishes?
Possibly has something to do with the small matter of him not having a uterus in which to gestate the fetus?
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