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Some do not like it, and leave. I think most adapt and get assimilated into the culture, some just stay among their groups.
In a lot of ways Caucasian is the most looked down upon by more native groups, but most here are not racist. Always jerks where ever you go of course. We do not have a high Black population here, mostly military. Not a lot of Mexicans either.
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Normally people won't start their friendly conversation with "Where are you from" in the first or second sentences. It's not as big of a deal if they've already started talking with you and then they ask you later in the conversation. But asking someone you just met where they're from right off the bat is like a salesperson asking someone if they'd like to buy an expensive product like a car or refrigerator right from the start.
When someone asks "where are you from" in Sedona, AZ, he/she is trying to sell you a timeshare. I've been living in AZ. for 22 years, but people still ask me where I'm from, because I have a New York accent. I own six timeshares! Just kidding.
What benefit would one get from that information? Why should someone share it unwarranted? There's nothing special about it. Not everything has to be shared.
What benefit? Satisfaction of curiosity, learning about one's coworker or potential friend, just getting to know someone better... I just don't get the defensiveness implied by the use of a term such as "unwarranted", it genuinely baffles me it seems to be a land mine topic for some...
Actually some of the most beautiful people I've seen (in appearance) were mixed heritage. I absolutely love the children produced by a couple one of which is Japanese and the other of which is black! I sometimes wonder if all female children of such marriages are hawt, hawt, hawt!
Its off topic for this theead, but I’m going to say it anyway. While you think saying mixed people are hot it is a compliment, don’t forget the converse of what you are saying. Non mixed people are hot as hot. And to keep on going, the more whitish you look, the more attractive you will be.
Now go and look at, particulalry for Latin, South Asian, and Black people, which types of people are called attractive and represented in mass culture. And which ones are not. The lighter people, with lighter skin, wavier or straighter hair and sometimes lighter eyes are the ones represented on tv, in movies and more.
So what you think is a compliment is actually a disparaging for the non-mixed people.
You have a lot of mental maturing to do... I get asked where I'm from, when I meet someone new, who is trying to be my friend.
Think of all the lost friendships you missed out on, because of your own personal pre-tenses. .. I think your the racist one here, not them ... Geez. .
Exactly
Part of group Dynamics, forming -storming- norming -performing. Etc.
Also some people just like people and like to get to know them. Or seeking to find a commonality for conversation or friendship
Mikala, you are not POC (or I'm mistaken) so when you heard "you have done so well" you didn't mentally change it to "you have done so well for a POC" (although you could have taken it as "you have done so well for a woman" but knowing you, you don't think that way). Some people have become hyper-sensitized to mentally adding "for a _______" to such comments. They may perceive that when it wasn't intended at all. But I understand that they get the real deal so much they start seeing the real deal when it isn't.
As this topic develops I'm getting a better feel about why some people feel the way the OP feels.
The reason many POC mentally hear this comments as you are xxxx for a POC is because someone has actually said that to us. And not in the so many words way, but the literal way. It becomes quite difficult to unhear it if it comes up in a similar comtext or tone.
Another variation - I’ve never met a so and so like you.
The question isn't inherently racial (I don't want to say racist, as that's never the vibe I've gotten from it), and I'd wager that most of the time it isn't. But many people who say that its never racial haven't walked in the shows of a minority in this country. Being asked where you are from is one thing. Being asked "but where are you really from?" if you're a minority (and you see that your white friends aren't asked such "clarifying" questions when they say "NY" or "TX") and answered the "US" or "X" or "Y" state is a completely different thing and implies that you're not really/truly/sufficiently American because of your racial/ethnic background (or because of your "look"). Still, I think the line of questioning as I've experienced it comes from a place of genuine curiosity and not racism. Of course, that doesn't make the pressing any more annoying!
I get asked this a lot when I'm deep in Trump country so I just tell them I'm from Berkeley even though i haven't lived there for a long time.
If people ask you where they are from, you have every right to also ask them where they are from, along with a followup question or two. I seldom get asked the question, but if I did that is probably what I would do. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. IMO that would be preferable to a snarky reply.
Its off topic for this theead, but I’m going to say it anyway. While you think saying mixed people are hot it is a compliment, don’t forget the converse of what you are saying. Non mixed people are hot as hot. And to keep on going, the more whitish you look, the more attractive you will be.
Now go and look at, particulalry for Latin, South Asian, and Black people, which types of people are called attractive and represented in mass culture. And which ones are not. The lighter people, with lighter skin, wavier or straighter hair and sometimes lighter eyes are the ones represented on tv, in movies and more.
So what you think is a compliment is actually a disparaging for the non-mixed people.
Well I'm sorry if I sounded that way but I didn't mean to. I'll discuss this with my black girlfriend.
The reason many POC mentally hear this comments as you are xxxx for a POC is because someone has actually said that to us. And not in the so many words way, but the literal way. It becomes quite difficult to unhear it if it comes up in a similar comtext or tone.
Another variation - I’ve never met a so and so like you.
Yes I get this topic more now than a day ago. One "ask" is like a mosquito. Getting "asked" all the time is like being in a cloud of mosquitoes.
I get it that it's hearing it over and over and over that is the big downer. It took me most of this topic to get it.
I appreciate now what a bummer it is to get this ALL THE TIME.
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I've been living in AZ. for 22 years, but people still ask me where I'm from, because I have a New York accent. I own six timeshares! Just kidding.
