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I'm still going to mail him a card with money to cover the cost. Plus I won't be drinking the alcohol either.
Contrary to what seems to be the current notion, a wedding gift is not something meant to "cover your cost at the wedding". The two are completely unrelated - I guess if you didn't have a gift you'd be stiffing them twice or something but don't believe that the gift compensates them - wrong thinking. The cost has already been paid whether you show up to eat or not. Quite making excuses...you RSVP'd. If you didn't want to do both activities then you should have chosen way back when instead of wimping out now.
Your friend will notice you weren't there. He will miss seeing you. Unless guys and gals are wired differently regarding this subject.
I remember very well who came, and who didn't come to my wedding. I was hurt when people who I thought were good friends, didn't come.
When I asked one of those friends what happened, she said "Oh...the day just got away from us." ouch. I thought they'd be happy for me and want to celebrate with me. But...I wasn't a priority.
You know...you don't even have to stay for the whole reception if you're uncomfortable. If it's weird, you wish the bride and groom well, maybe dance with the bride once, something like that, and then you say your good byes, and go back to your hotel or whatever. Or find a fun bar or something.
But yeah...you should go. Although I TOTALLY understand where you're coming from. But your friend will notice if you're not there. And honestly, will doubt any excuse you come up with.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((sigh, and i mean heaving a huge SIGH)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )
I had a very very excellent excuse for not going to my very best friends wedding....she was my maid of honor, but 5 years later, she gets married, I have 3 kids, an alcoholic husband i can't leave them with, we lived 3 hours away and no, I couldn't see how i could go...... no brothers, no sisters, what? not like i could leave 'em in a kennel fer chrissakes!!!!!
long story short? she NEVER forgave me. met her some 30 years later, in 2002, at a doctor's office, when i moved back home after 9/11..... no way it wasn't her, she had one of the most prominent noses in history, it was her. she completely ignored me, even after 30 years!!!!!
" Carol???" no reply. "Carol!!!!!!" no look, nothing. ignored me. " Carol, really? REALLY?" sheesh. !!!! i sent an enormously gorgeous wedding gift that took me three years to pay off. I apologized up my ying-yang. i tried to get her sister to intercede for me, I sent flowers every year on her birthday for 12 years. Christmas, Easter, every holiday under the sun, I remembered her...... nothing worked. i gave up. ................ oh well. ............ life went on.
Just saying, be prepared to lose a friend you cherish.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((sigh, and i mean heaving a huge SIGH)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )
I had a very very excellent excuse for not going to my very best friends wedding....she was my maid of honor, but 5 years later, she gets married, I have 3 kids, an alcoholic husband i can't leave them with, we lived 3 hours away and no, I couldn't see how i could go...... no brothers, no sisters, what? not like i could leave 'em in a kennel fer chrissakes!!!!!
long story short? she NEVER forgave me. met her some 30 years later, in 2002, at a doctor's office, when i moved back home after 9/11..... no way it wasn't her, she had one of the most prominent noses in history, it was her. she completely ignored me, even after 30 years!!!!!
" Carol???" no reply. "Carol!!!!!!" no look, nothing. ignored me. " Carol, really? REALLY?" sheesh. !!!! i sent an enormously gorgeous wedding gift that took me three years to pay off. I apologized up my ying-yang. i tried to get her sister to intercede for me, I sent flowers every year on her birthday for 12 years. Christmas, Easter, every holiday under the sun, I remembered her...... nothing worked. i gave up. ................ oh well. ............ life went on.
Just saying, be prepared to lose a friend you cherish.
...okay...but it is at a whole different level talking about two women compared to two guys.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((sigh, and i mean heaving a huge SIGH)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )
I had a very very excellent excuse for not going to my very best friends wedding....she was my maid of honor, but 5 years later, she gets married, I have 3 kids, an alcoholic husband i can't leave them with, we lived 3 hours away and no, I couldn't see how i could go...... no brothers, no sisters, what? not like i could leave 'em in a kennel fer chrissakes!!!!!
long story short? she NEVER forgave me. met her some 30 years later, in 2002, at a doctor's office, when i moved back home after 9/11..... no way it wasn't her, she had one of the most prominent noses in history, it was her. she completely ignored me, even after 30 years!!!!!
" Carol???" no reply. "Carol!!!!!!" no look, nothing. ignored me. " Carol, really? REALLY?" sheesh. !!!! i sent an enormously gorgeous wedding gift that took me three years to pay off. I apologized up my ying-yang. i tried to get her sister to intercede for me, I sent flowers every year on her birthday for 12 years. Christmas, Easter, every holiday under the sun, I remembered her...... nothing worked. i gave up. ................ oh well. ............ life went on.
Just saying, be prepared to lose a friend you cherish.
What the hell did you buy them that took three years to pay off? And you sent flowers every year for TWELVE years? It took you twelve years to get the hint? Wow.
IT did say, but I didn't bother to look it up because I didn't think it would be that far north. It would make no sense to have it that far north. So yes, I didn't pay attention and assumed it would be as close to Chicago as possible.
Wow.
Are you normally this selfish/clueless or did you hit your head recently?
It is 100% your fault for not looking up the location of blah-blah-blah Michigan and then deciding if that's too far to drive.
You should call him and say "I didn't bother to see how far away this place is, and since I just now did that, I've decided my convenience is worth more than our friendship. Bye!"
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((sigh, and i mean heaving a huge SIGH)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )
I had a very very excellent excuse for not going to my very best friends wedding....she was my maid of honor, but 5 years later, she gets married, I have 3 kids, an alcoholic husband i can't leave them with, we lived 3 hours away and no, I couldn't see how i could go...... no brothers, no sisters, what? not like i could leave 'em in a kennel fer chrissakes!!!!!
long story short? she NEVER forgave me. met her some 30 years later, in 2002, at a doctor's office, when i moved back home after 9/11..... no way it wasn't her, she had one of the most prominent noses in history, it was her. she completely ignored me, even after 30 years!!!!!
" Carol???" no reply. "Carol!!!!!!" no look, nothing. ignored me. " Carol, really? REALLY?" sheesh. !!!! i sent an enormously gorgeous wedding gift that took me three years to pay off. I apologized up my ying-yang. i tried to get her sister to intercede for me, I sent flowers every year on her birthday for 12 years. Christmas, Easter, every holiday under the sun, I remembered her...... nothing worked. i gave up. ................ oh well. ............ life went on.
Just saying, be prepared to lose a friend you cherish.
Sorry but I can see why she axed you as a friend..
I'm sure she didn't spring it on you last minute & especially where she was your MOH...
Are you normally this selfish/clueless or did you hit your head recently?
It is 100% your fault for not looking up the location of blah-blah-blah Michigan and then deciding if that's too far to drive.
You should call him and say "I didn't bother to see how far away this place is, and since I just now did that, I've decided my convenience is worth more than our friendship. Bye!"
Calm down bridezilla. Yes. It is my fault for not looking it up earlier. I was answering the question asked about how I didn’t know how far away it is and why I didn’t look it up sooner. Are you that clueless that you didnr even read the thread I was responding to?
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