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This post sounds so familiar to me. There was this guy whose girlfriend lives in a basement apartment and her family eats all the food that he buys for her. Reminds me of that.
Ah, so the basement is an apartment with a kitchen, perhaps a private entrance or lock on entry door!
If girlfriend wants to maintain her privacy she can have a lock put on the door or lock her food and water in a closet. Even better she can move in with the boyfriend
Get out while you can and do not marry her or get her pregnant because then your stuck, unless you like people freeloading off of you for the rest of their lives.
It seems clearer and clearer that OP is sticking around for the pootie. If she doesn't give it up by 3.5 months post-op, he's out.
However, a more experienced guy would realize that the complete and utter chastity of their relationship so far probably means she never will. That should be quite a thread.
OP, you certainly have not talked like this girl is the love of your life. I wouldn't get near this family dynamics with a ten foot pole.
Keep up the phone payments until the end of the year (or plan period) if you want and donate the used microwave, but end all other expenses. Just stop. No more goodies. Wonder how long the relationship will last then.
I feel sorry for her but now that she is in a rehab stint this is a chance for you to reevaluate your situation. Are you going to drift on and perhaps give her false hope?
Are the parent/s still going to Greece with their daughter's hospital and rehab situation now? Are they expecting you to step in?
You are trying to figure out your career moves and these complications seem unnecessary and irritating. Certainly not indicative of true love.
As another poster said, if you are thinking of leaving it's pretty much over now.
What really rubs me the wrong way was that the parents just let the service lapse on the old phone (an iPhone 4). In this day and age, a smart phone of some type is basically essential. They have a landline, but there's no cordless phone in the basement. I don't even know if there is a phone line run down there. The fact that they wouldn't buy her a cheap phone, or even take over the $35 Walmart plan, showed me they just don't care.
I think this is the rub. What you consider essential they probably consider unnecessary. There is a phone, it's a landline but you KNOW in this area a lot of people stick with landlines. Cell phone is great but not needed as long as there is a landline, it's just not as convenient. New clothing, not necessary if she has the basics, even if they are worn and tatty. Groceries, that's all on you, she wasn't starving before you showed and and won't starve if you leave, even if the food her parents provide aren't up to your standards. And you resent that the parents don't ask you out with them on occasion, I guess as repayment for the money you voluntarily spend on their daughter? Put the scorecard away, either do these things because you care about her and want better for her or just stop doing it. You sound like all you care about is 'getting your money's worth' and that's pretty sad.
What really irks me is that general lack of consideration. They know I foot a lot of the bills. You'd think that they'd want to help out as a courtesy, but apparently that's too much to ask.
Courtesy for what? They're not dating you and you are not entitled to them helping yours or hers lifestyle. They are sheltering her and feeding her and that is more then enough. They are not obligated to also support her social life.
Courtesy for what? They're not dating you and you are not entitled to them helping yours or hers lifestyle. They are sheltering her and feeding her and that is more then enough. They are not obligated to also support her social life.
You would think they could give their daughter pocket money for minor expenses and meals after buying their son a new car.
I don't think that's unreasonable at all. They've never asked if I wanted some help. They use my Netflix and Amazon Prime accounts. They eat the groceries I bring in for my girlfriend's use, not for their use.
That's what makes me mad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT
I think this is the rub. What you consider essential they probably consider unnecessary. There is a phone, it's a landline but you KNOW in this area a lot of people stick with landlines. Cell phone is great but not needed as long as there is a landline, it's just not as convenient. New clothing, not necessary if she has the basics, even if they are worn and tatty. Groceries, that's all on you, she wasn't starving before you showed and and won't starve if you leave, even if the food her parents provide aren't up to your standards. And you resent that the parents don't ask you out with them on occasion, I guess as repayment for the money you voluntarily spend on their daughter? Put the scorecard away, either do these things because you care about her and want better for her or just stop doing it. You sound like all you care about is 'getting your money's worth' and that's pretty sad.
My girlfriend wanted me to meet a great aunt from Florida who came in back in August. They wanted to go to Cheddar's. They live close to Blountville off 75. Her mom, grandma, and great aunt were going out to eat. I work in Johnson City, and was at the gym very close to the JC Cheddar's. Her mom stubbed up and insisted on going to Bristol, VA Cheddar's. It might - MIGHT - have cost her home five minutes of driving to save me an extra forty miles of driving one way. I had to go from JC to exit 7, back to JC.
They're either extremely stupid or just don't care if they inconvenience others/screw them over.
Forced? Like there is a spare bedroom upstairs but they forced her to sleep in the basement, or the basement was the only room available! Is this woman mentally helpless? Really the boyfriend feels used but isn’t the girlfriend letting him buy and do all these things.
She has lupus. Part of the lupus treatment was prednisone. She was given a very high dose of prednisone for a long period of time. That basically dissolved the ball joint in her hips. The medical term is avascular necrosis.
The basement has been partitioned off into a large bedroom from her parents on the side furthest from the garage, a small bathroom, a 12'x12' bedroom or close for her, and a small garage space. Her parents use that larger room in the basement as a bedroom. My girlfriend is in the smaller bedroom space. Her 20 year old brother stays with his girlfriend's parents most of the time and is rarely there. The grandma is in the master bedroom and the other two bedrooms upstairs are unoccupied.
With her mobility issues, it's easier to roll her out from the basement bedroom through the garage than trying to scale the stairs. There is no egress from the upstairs without having to go down stairs.
They're either extremely stupid or just don't care if they inconvenience others/screw them over.
How do they feel about you? Do they even like you? This doesn't sound like you have a very cordial relationship, let alone a friendly one. How does that play out if you stick with the gf? What does your gf say about all this, have you mentioned anything about how you feel about the situation to her?
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