Alone (in Life) for the Holidays (wife, person, member, children)
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Once again this year, "we gather together" to commiserate about not being alone JUST for the the upcoming holidays, but being alone -- really alone -- and enduring or, conversely, celebrating the holidays. Share your experience here. This is your safe place. Happy (?) holidays!
...I think you are asking how we feel if alone on holidays...?
I'm fine with it, but I'm a loner anyway.
Have had many holidays with family or friends so to be alone now is just another way of being. I'll fix my grandmother's dressing recipe for fun, have sweet potatoes, maybe a turkey meatloaf....and be thankful I can do so.
If you are alone -- in life (not JUST over the holidays -- just this year), what do you "do" with those holidays that are ALL about togetherness and specifically family togetherness: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve? Hope that's clear this year.
I was never alone for the holidays -- or in life -- until the last few years, and it has definitely been a difficult adjustment! You???
Last edited by otterhere; 11-14-2018 at 08:35 AM..
If you are alone -- in life (not JUST over the holidays -- just this year), what do you "do" with those holidays that are all about togetherness and specifically family togetherness: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve? Hope this is clear...this year.
I was never alone for the holidays -- or in life -- until the last few years, and it has definitely been an adjustment!
Well yes, alone now since divorce....
I do a mini celebration, like the dressing for Thanksgiving...Christmas I'll fix a favorite meal...NY might have a glass of champagne...or not. Might call someone for a brief chat. Donate to Salvation Army.
Otherwise I'll spend time with my three cats, read, play music, watch an old movie...cook etc. The days are kept quiet and relaxing. At least being alone means no family strife....just peace.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Probably going to spend Christmas solo, Thanksgiving at least I have a couple of friends I’m gonna eat with. As with every year, in no mood to give a about the holidays. On disciplinary action at work (prompting a fruitless furious search for a new job) and single af when I had a gf this time last year. Yeah the holidays suck in my eyes.
Probably going to spend Christmas solo, Thanksgiving at least I have a couple of friends I’m gonna eat with. As with every year, in no mood to give a about the holidays. On disciplinary action at work (prompting a fruitless furious search for a new job) and single af when I had a gf this time last year. Yeah the holidays suck in my eyes.
By emphasizing the joys of togetherness, they certainly also exacerbate the challenge of aloneness. I know that when I had plenty of friends and family with whom to celebrate, I never gave one single thought to those who were alone on those days. Now, of course, I do.
Once again this year, "we gather together" to commiserate about not being alone JUST for the the upcoming holidays, but being alone -- really alone -- and enduring or, conversely, celebrating the holidays. Share your experience here. This is your safe place. Happy (?) holidays!
Moderator cut: delete
My family has been in the grass, in-toto, for nearly a decade ...last one standing. A shame, yes, though most lived long and full lives. I've lived a long (enough) and full (enough) life for ten strong men, at 51, was just chuckling to my friend last night. The things I've done, seen, witnessed, been part of, been accessory-to, etc. mostly enjoying life's finer things past ten years or so...before that was some hard-scrabble, but not really compared to 99% of humanity either. Just vaulting Middle to Upper Middle due to some decisions I've made, luck (great economy, portfolio tripling), and hard work too.
I have few regrets I can think of, few things I'd play differently. I didn't like my family much when they were alive, and the inverse was probably true. We got along fine in small doses of less than a couple weeks so that was good enough for twenty years on my own, roughly. We very seldom did holidays.
Across the years, I pop in for holidays hosted by others, always brining gifts and food to smooth my way of course because otherwise is vulgar. They do matter to certain friends, so I usually get in a meal or two.
Some years, I go places, though that's rare. Vegas on Thanksgiving Day was fun, six years ago, and I saw Rush the next day at the MGM Grand. Spectacular and not terribly expensive. I have little use for Vegas and was out there soonest next day, but all in all was a great little pocket trip with a Thanksgiving dinner at a Wolfgang Puck in the Venetian for about $25.
All you people who are "lonely" or "alone and hating it," do something about it. Starting today. When I need company, I pound through the Personals and manage to find agreeable company of some kind for an evening, couple weeks, or (rarely) a couple months. That solves that, company for the holidays. Wow, how hard was that?
Last edited by Miss Blue; 11-29-2018 at 07:34 AM..
Reason: rude comment
Moderator cut: orphaned comment
My family has been in the grass, in-toto, for nearly a decade ...last one standing. A shame, yes, though most lived long and full lives. I've lived a long (enough) and full (enough) life for ten strong men, at 51, was just chuckling to my friend last night. The things I've done, seen, witnessed, been part of, been accessory-to, etc. mostly enjoying life's finer things past ten years or so...before that was some hard-scrabble, but not really compared to 99% of humanity either. Just vaulting Middle to Upper Middle due to some decisions I've made, luck (great economy, portfolio tripling), and hard work too.
I have few regrets I can think of, few things I'd play differently. I didn't like my family much when they were alive, and the inverse was probably true. We got along fine in small doses of less than a couple weeks so that was good enough for twenty years on my own, roughly. We very seldom did holidays.
Across the years, I pop in for holidays hosted by others, always brining gifts and food to smooth my way of course because otherwise is vulgar. They do matter to certain friends, so I usually get in a meal or two.
Some years, I go places, though that's rare. Vegas on Thanksgiving Day was fun, six years ago, and I saw Rush the next day at the MGM Grand. Spectacular and not terribly expensive. I have little use for Vegas and was out there soonest next day, but all in all was a great little pocket trip with a Thanksgiving dinner at a Wolfgang Puck in the Venetian for about $25.
All you people who are "lonely" or "alone and hating it," do something about it. Starting today. When I need company, I pound through the Personals and manage to find agreeable company of some kind for an evening, couple weeks, or (rarely) a couple months. That solves that, company for the holidays. Wow, how hard was that?
Again, the point is missed. It's not about being alone on that one day. It's about being alone in the world on that one day. I suppose it's a subtle distinction. Perhaps too subtle for most? And I'm not "complaining." I'm simply asking what people who are alone in the world on that one day choose to do with that one day.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 11-29-2018 at 07:36 AM..
Again, the point is missed. It's not about being alone on that one day. It's about being alone in the world on that one day. I suppose it's a subtle distinction. Perhaps too subtle for most? And I'm not "complaining." I'm simply asking what people who are alone in the world on that one day choose to do with that one day.
I have a friend who never married or had children. Her mother died at 92 a couple of years ago, and she and her sisters don't really like one another and at any rate, all live in different states.
She gets together at her condo complex with others who have no family for an "Orphans' Thanksgiving."
I hope nobody comes running up in here and suggests "serve the homeless at Thanksgiving!" First of all, they don't need you on Thanksgiving or Christmas, when everybody and their brother shows up to "help", particularly politicians who want to score points with the public and get their picture in the paper, and secondly, it's just not a nice thing to say to someone who is sad about being alone on those days.
While I do have family and friends, I'm basically a hermit and would rather be alone on a mountainside hunting instead of sitting on a couch watching football, (loathe it) with people I may or may not want to spend much time with aside from the holidays.
I don't like hearing some drunk BIL's views on the latest election, or the sister's bragging on her kids, or watching the kids hide behind their mobile phones for hours while their grandparent's desperately try to talk to them.
My wife usually works the holidays, (healthcare), so I don't travel to be with other gatherings. Since she works the morning shift, I usually go hunting or fishing in the morning while she's at work, then when she gets off we go have a nice meal in one of the local restaurants.
I know it's really depressing for some folks to be alone on the holidays, but my suggestion is to look to your church or other groups. Several organizations in my area have dinners for their members, and clubs/churches are all about being part of a group anyway.
You survive the holidays, singly or in a group by doing what you like to do.
There were a few times in the past where I made fancy Thanksgiving dinners, (classically trained as a chef in a past life), and invited some neighbors or local seniors over for a feed.
Since my get togethers are usually non-alcoholic, it can limit the numbers attending, but makes for a more relaxed atmosphere.
If I were to do something like that these days, I would go to one of the local Senior Centers, Assisted Living facilities or Nursing homes for guests. Those folks really appreciate some company and having a big dinner and some company for a few hours. Most of them have great stories and are a pleasure to talk to, plus, they are really happy to be included on a day when most of their kids forget about them.
Many are on very fixed incomes too, so a good meal is a real treat for them. Senior Citizens are the one group of the population I enjoy speaking to, and they still appreciate it when someone does something nice for them.
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about the holidays. On disciplinary action at work (prompting a fruitless furious search for a new job) and single af when I had a gf this time last year. Yeah the holidays suck in my eyes.
