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Old 02-11-2019, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,897 posts, read 30,274,521 times
Reputation: 19136

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Isn't the intent of the 'you're welcome' to shame the offender? To point out the error of their ways? No matter how nicely it's said it's meant as a subtle (or not so subtle) correction of someone's manners, and that is always rude.

I found this to be amusing and it briefly touches on the topic of correcting others in public
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/miss-ma...guide-updated/
I'm going to answer this, NO, the answer is NO, I didn't do it to shame anyone and I don't believe the person you directed this question to, did it for that reason....

but more so as a reminder...lets face it, a lot of times, we're out there in our thoughts, especially coming from work...

and I ask you, is it then rude to correct our children?

Last edited by cremebrulee; 02-11-2019 at 10:29 AM..
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Old 02-11-2019, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
3,007 posts, read 3,134,122 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
I'm going to answer this, NO, the answer is NO, I didn't do it to shame anyone and I don't believe the person you directed this question to, did it for that reason....

but more so as a reminder...lets face it, a lot of times, we're out there in our thoughts, especially coming from work...

and I ask you, is it then rude to correct our children?


You have a responsibility as a parent to correct your children, you DO NOT have a responsibility or a right to correct someone who does not respond to something you do, such as holding a door.
Should they respond with a thank you? Yes it would be the polite thing to do, but you made the decision to open the door and hold it, they are not Obligated to respond to you just because you did make that decision.
Just the same as they are not obligated to rush to make it to the door because you are holding it while they are still a ways away from it.
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Old 02-11-2019, 10:42 AM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,056,289 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arwenmark View Post
You have a responsibility as a parent to correct your children, you DO NOT have a responsibility or a right to correct someone who does not respond to something you do, such as holding a door.
Should they respond with a thank you? Yes it would be the polite thing to do, but you made the decision to open the door and hold it, they are not Obligated to respond to you just because you did make that decision.
Just the same as they are not obligated to rush to make it to the door because you are holding it while they are still a ways away from it.
Amen.

I'm reminded of a saying I saw on a t-shirt once, "Fight Fire with Fire? Why, when firefighters use water?"
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Old 02-11-2019, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,897 posts, read 30,274,521 times
Reputation: 19136
Quote:
Originally Posted by arwenmark View Post
You have a responsibility as a parent to correct your children, you DO NOT have a responsibility or a right to correct someone who does not respond to something you do, such as holding a door.
Should they respond with a thank you? Yes it would be the polite thing to do, but you made the decision to open the door and hold it, they are not Obligated to respond to you just because you did make that decision.
Just the same as they are not obligated to rush to make it to the door because you are holding it while they are still a ways away from it.
totally agree, but I also on the other hand, do not see anything wrong with reminding someone to say thank you. However, I understand your point of view....I don't think its wrong to do that....what is wrong is if you do it to be snarky or mock someone...which wasn't anywhere near my intention....
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Old 02-11-2019, 11:49 AM
 
15,546 posts, read 12,024,982 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
I'm going to answer this, NO, the answer is NO, I didn't do it to shame anyone and I don't believe the person you directed this question to, did it for that reason....

but more so as a reminder...lets face it, a lot of times, we're out there in our thoughts, especially coming from work...

and I ask you, is it then rude to correct our children?
Yes it is rude to treat an adult like a child. You do not know anything about this stranger, and to correct them like a parent would correct a child is extremely condescending.
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Old 02-11-2019, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,897 posts, read 30,274,521 times
Reputation: 19136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post
Yes it is rude to treat an adult like a child. You do not know anything about this stranger, and to correct them like a parent would correct a child is extremely condescending.
I am not arguing that point....honestly....totally understand
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Old 02-11-2019, 11:55 AM
 
1,774 posts, read 1,192,015 times
Reputation: 3910
Yes, I try to always say thank you. I have an adult Special Needs brother and sometimes he forgets and I stop him and remind him to say "Thank you" if he forgets. And people are always so gracious about it, they understand.
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Old 02-11-2019, 11:56 AM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,056,289 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post
Yes it is rude to treat an adult like a child. You do not know anything about this stranger, and to correct them like a parent would correct a child is extremely condescending.
Agreed, and it will rarely have its desired effect.

If the person you've made sarcastic remarks to is truly a rude person, your condescension will do nothing to change them.

If the person you've made sarcastic remarks to is just distracted at the moment (or generally) and they hear your remarks they probably go away thinking they just encountered some rude old biddy.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:31 PM
 
2,462 posts, read 2,480,403 times
Reputation: 5876
You never know their situation. Could be they don't speak English, or maybe they're deaf and dumb. I'm like a lot of the posters, and find it annoying, though.
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Old 02-11-2019, 04:17 PM
 
21,109 posts, read 13,568,403 times
Reputation: 19723
Quote:
Originally Posted by bagster View Post
You never know their situation. Could be they don't speak English, or maybe they're deaf and dumb. I'm like a lot of the posters, and find it annoying, though.
This is important to remember.
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