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I'm going to answer this, NO, the answer is NO, I didn't do it to shame anyone and I don't believe the person you directed this question to, did it for that reason....
but more so as a reminder...lets face it, a lot of times, we're out there in our thoughts, especially coming from work...
and I ask you, is it then rude to correct our children?
But it's not really your place (general you) to remind or teach other adults. From the link above for the TLDR crowd-
"Can Miss Manners, whose vocation, whose calling, is correcting etiquette transgressions, condemn the practice? Certainly.
Miss Manners corrects only upon request.... The only way to enjoy the fun of catching people behaving disgustingly is to have children. One has to keep having them, however, because it is incorrect to correct grown people, even if you have grown them yourself."
But it's not really your place (general you) to remind or teach other adults. From the link above for the TLDR crowd-
"Can Miss Manners, whose vocation, whose calling, is correcting etiquette transgressions, condemn the practice? Certainly.
Miss Manners corrects only upon request.... The only way to enjoy the fun of catching people behaving disgustingly is to have children. One has to keep having them, however, because it is incorrect to correct grown people, even if you have grown them yourself."
I always say thank you but it is possible to be in a hurry, have a lot on one's mind, be accustomed to everyone opening doors, and fail to.
I remember when my mother died I was in a fog. Coming home from the hospital many people honked at me for failing to notice it was my turn to go and so forth.
In such a state I could absolutely walk through a door opened for me and fail to even notice.
This is why we need to give people a break and not assume things. We have no idea what is going on with them.
If someone opened a door for me during that time and I failed to say thank you and they said 'You're Welcome' it would have been jarring and hurtful. I wanted to tell so many people to F off during that time. Such a small thing and I had a REALLY REALLY BIG thing filling my brain.
BE KIND. You never never know if the person is among the walking wounded.
Kindness, such as opening doors, is a gift you give. That is why expecting a thank you is not appropriate. If I send a gift to a relative and they fail to thank me, I may stop sending gifts under the assumption that they do not want the gift. That is an easy enough choice. It is easier than deciding not to hold doors for people because holding a door doesn't cost much, can be done for pretty much anybody and is something we have the opportunity to do at least once a day (though automatic doors may decrease this opportunity). I think that is where the issue lies.
But it's not really your place (general you) to remind or teach other adults. From the link above for the TLDR crowd-
"Can Miss Manners, whose vocation, whose calling, is correcting etiquette transgressions, condemn the practice? Certainly.
Miss Manners corrects only upon request.... The only way to enjoy the fun of catching people behaving disgustingly is to have children. One has to keep having them, however, because it is incorrect to correct grown people, even if you have grown them yourself."
Call you guys have given me food for thought you're right it's the wrong thing to do I didn't do it to boast but I understand what your all saying and I have to agree with you. Thank you kindly
Quote:
Originally Posted by GMarcan920
If I hold a door for someone, and they don't say thanks or even acknowledge it, I simply say "You're welcome" and smile
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
When I've done it, in the past, didn't do it to gain anything other than to remind the person, it only takes less then a minute to say "thank You". Wasn't boasting that I did a good deed, or putting myself above anyone else for not saying it, I just thought a gentle reminder might be appropriate. The same for crossing in front of someone in a grocery store...I always say excuse me...as we all know some isles are tight and you can't avoid it....and when I see someone in a cart for handicapped struggling I ask them what they are trying to get, and get it for them....I think we owe our fellow Americans young and old, acknowledgement that they are human beings. Like someone else said, "it's the right thing to do".
But, after reading some of the posts against saying "Thank you", I understand what views they are expressing...and while I don't believe it was meant to be snarky, when I said it, I'm going to re-think doing so...in the future....however, manners, consideration for others, being polite and kind, certainly is a reminder we can all use at times, regardless....working together as a team, to slow down and acknowledge others, regardless if they are strangers or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT
Isn't the intent of the 'you're welcome' to shame the offender? To point out the error of their ways? No matter how nicely it's said it's meant as a subtle (or not so subtle) correction of someone's manners, and that is always rude.
You have a responsibility as a parent to correct your children, you DO NOT have a responsibility or a right to correct someone who does not respond to something you do, such as holding a door.
Should they respond with a thank you? Yes it would be the polite thing to do, but you made the decision to open the door and hold it, they are not Obligated to respond to you just because you did make that decision.
Just the same as they are not obligated to rush to make it to the door because you are holding it while they are still a ways away from it.
Phhhtt....I shall continue to say "you are welcome " even if not offered a "thank you". I don't care what that person thinks of me and I sure don't care what people think of me here!
Phhhtt....I shall continue to say "you are welcome " even if not offered a "thank you". I don't care what that person thinks of me and I sure don't care what people think of me here!
Phhhtt....I shall continue to say "you are welcome " even if not offered a "thank you". I don't care what that person thinks of me and I sure don't care what people think of me here!
I don't believe anyone thinks any less of you for doing so....you need to do what you feel is best...I sure don't think any less of you, I've done it to....
but they've made some very good points....I can't deny that...it is rude to not say thank you, but I personally feel it's also rude to say Your welcome, but that doesn't reflect on you, simply is the way I feel...and you shouldn't feel anyone is judging you....
I don't believe anyone thinks any less of you for doing so....you need to do what you feel is best...I sure don't think any less of you, I've done it to....
but they've made some very good points....I can't deny that...it is rude to not say thank you, but I personally feel it's also rude to say Your welcome, but that doesn't reflect on you, simply is the way I feel...and you shouldn't feel anyone is judging you....
Awww, thanks, creme but these people ARE judging me and I don't particularly care. It is nice that you can see their side too. I can too, I just will not stop being rude right back. To each their own and I enjoy being a (b)itch.
Awww, thanks, creme but these people ARE judging me and I don't particularly care. It is nice that you can see their side too. I can too, I just will not stop being rude right back. To each their own and I enjoy being a (b)itch.
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smh
