Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But your post was about how you expect everyone needs to show up with a gift in hand, even if it's some cheap picture frame. How is a cheap frame helping the couple start their lives together?
Its greedy to only want people at your wedding who will bring you gifts. It's also greedy to point out when someone only gives you $20, instead of the $300-$500 you were expecting.
It's not greedy. You are there for the couple getting married and by giving them $$ you are helping them build their life. Some people don't give $$ b/c they find it impersonal.
Most people in my area don't give physical gifts. Most couples want the money anyhow and you are there to support them in building their life. By you showing up without a gift, it's basically eating and drinking on their dime.
My husband and I used the $$ we got from our wedding 'gifts' as a downpayment toward our house. Surely the people who love us would not want us living on the street …
It's not being greedy. It's helping the couple reach the next stage of their life. Houses where I live are very expensive. I don't know that we'd have one without the $$ we got as gifts.
It's not anyone else's responsibility to help us pay for our house, I get that, but that is typically why people give cash @ weddings. So that you can make it easier for them to embark on the next step of their journey and help them have a solid financial future in place.
That's what I thought too. The point of a party isn't to make money off your guests.
Correct but your guests should care about you having a good future. I'm not saying people who don't give money/gifts don't care, but the reasoning behind giving money is typically for the couple to use for things like a downpayment. Most people would not have a problem giving some $$ to someone they love to help them start a future / buy a home / build a life. After all, that is their reason for getting married … to build a life together, is it not?
I always send a wedding present when invited to a wedding, whether I attend or not. It's a lovely and time-honored tradition that I am happy to take part in.
For some reason that I can't quite put my finger on, though, it annoys me when couple ask for money instead of a present. Just the mention of the gift, as if it were presumed, is I think what bothers me.
A gift is freely given and from the heart, not an obligation.
I always send a wedding present when invited to a wedding, whether I attend or not. It's a lovely and time-honored tradition that I am happy to take part in.
For some reason that I can't quite put my finger on, though, it annoys me when couple ask for money instead of a present. Just the mention of the gift, as if it were presumed, is I think what bothers me.
A gift is freely given and from the heart, not an obligation.
YES!
The irony here is that if I love and care about you, I will spend crazy amounts of money on a meaningful, useful gift.
But if it smells like people are asking, it taints it or something.
When my bro got married...well, first they got engaged. There wasn't a party, but I caught them one day at my parents' house and pretended to be fascinated by the ring and had them hold hands with the ring on top and took a picture. Just being silly...then I ran off and blew up the picture and had it professionally matted and framed. And just gave it to them. Bc why not? My SIL loved it! They hung it front and center in their living room.
My bro always loved grilling out. So when they bought a new house, I went out and got them a top of the line gas grill. He loved it and used it a ton.
No reason, no gift grab...just from the heart presents.
If they later got mad bc I never sent them a card for their wedding, I would be pretty cheesed.
Correct but your guests should care about you having a good future. I'm not saying people who don't give money/gifts don't care, but the reasoning behind giving money is typically for the couple to use for things like a downpayment. Most people would not have a problem giving some $$ to someone they love to help them start a future / buy a home / build a life. After all, that is their reason for getting married … to build a life together, is it not?
You invite people to a wedding because you want to celebrate an event with them. They might want to commemorate that celebration with a gift. If you're only inviting people because you expect money from them, and you judge them if they don't pony up, the whole thing becomes ass-backwards. It's not gracious, it's not celebratory--it's greedy.
Wedding gifts were much more important to a couple when they both were moving straight out of their parents' homes to start a life together. Most couples now have lived together for years by the time they actually get married, and they don't need new everything (or anything.)
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 04-10-2019 at 01:22 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
