Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
ls there some reason , in the relationship list as this thread title appears , but it's just all blank beside it ?
l thought they closed the thread but it's still running ok .
I've lived alone for the past 3 1/2 years. There are things I like about it and things I don't. I would prefer sharing my life with someone BUT admit I would need my own space to escape to from time to time. I think most people feel that way. Men have their Man Caves, women have their Sewing Rooms. Sews is a four-letter word for me though, so I would prefer a Library thank you very much!
ls there some reason , in the relationship list as this thread title appears , but it's just all blank beside it ?
l thought they closed the thread but it's still running ok .
The thread was moved by the moderator since it was considered to be off topic for the "Romantic Relationships"
forum.
On this topic: For the most part, I really enjoy living by myself. There are things that I do miss about living with my former husband such as sharing meals together, having someone with whom to share household management tasks, etc.
Sunday was my favorite day of the week when I was still married as that was our shared day off. On Sundays, we mostly spent time together and/or with family (usually his, which was fine as I really liked his folks). I miss that aspect of having a live-in partner.
So long as I have a place to go for a bit of quiet time and don't have a roommate/partner who is overly needful of my attention, lacks hoarding tendencies and is reasonably neat, I like living with another human being.
Last edited by Formerly Known As Twenty; 05-10-2019 at 07:30 PM..
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
I miss living alone. That probably sounds terrible, but it's true. I've been the breadwinner, the supporter, the parent figure, and all of that, but at the end of the day, I'm kinda best on my own. It'll probably be years before that happens again, and I'll hold up my responsibilities, but deep down do yearn for that freedom and peace.
I lived alone and loved it a couple times when I was young (usually had roommates due to finances), but been married for decades now. Husband was gone for three months, taking care of his sick sister; I enjoyed the freedom, but I did get lonely, and I was glad when he got back.
Hi people.
Just thoughts and wondering for those that live alone , what do you think of it , do you prefer it ?
After being married 20yrs, then some years alone, then living with gf , not to mention other married couples or relationships l know.
You know, l think l almost prefer just living alone, maybe even long term from here.
l'm finding it really hard to ignore the hassle free life of just living alone. Even a reasonably happy marriage or easy going relationships, whatever, one way or another it's still always pressured and complicated even if unintentional, they just are. lt's just far more complicated living two lives than one. Even the simplest of everyday things alone, like eating, food, sleeping, getting up , tv you watch, coming and going, even playing music or staying up late, how much you work or don't , time off, 100s of just nothing things, bring on a whole nother dimension as two.
Gees l dunno , nearly 30yrs of it all up and there is absolutely no denying it , you really pay along the way for what you get out of it don't you find, there just doesn't seem to be any way of avoiding that if your two rather than one.
l think my only big concern about just staying solo from here is that you might regret growing old alone,
That and the fact l know my daughter will just worry about me not having someone, she just will , no matter what l say.
Any thoughts appreciated, experience , preferences ?
The trouble is, that if you get too comfortable dealing with just your own needs and liabilities and do it for too long, you can become non-functional as a suitable partner for anyone. If a person is considering moving into the life of a person who has lived alone for a long time, they should give it some careful thought, before making a commitment. There may be too much baggage going along with the deal. Never move into the house of someone who's been alone for a long time, if they have a pet. You may be outranked by that pet.
I can't remember ever living alone, but it's been a dream and a fantasy for most of my life.
I think that the way we handled our living arrangements and the expectation of constant contact (and control) was a serious stressor on my marriage. I had no space in our home to call my own, yet somehow was expected to clean up after everyone. My ex expected to know where I was every minute of every day. He knew exactly how long it should take for me to get home from work, and if I stopped at the store without letting him know, then he'd blow up my phone. Something just occurred to me. I remember when my sons were about 8-10 years old, which is a normal age for wanting to explore the world around you as a kid and push some boundaries, maybe you're out riding your bike in the neighborhood and playing with friends, and you're supposed to be home when the street lamps come on, but you lose track of time... And when my sons were doing this, it freaked me out. I would fuss and worry if they did not come home when I expected, and this was before they had cell phones, so I couldn't get a hold of them. My ex used to give me a hard time, tell me to stop clucking like a hen, to cut the apron strings and let them be boys.
He literally trusted 8-10 year old boys, to not be getting into trouble or being abducted or harmed, to look after themselves after dark in the world without us knowing where they were...far, far more, than he trusted me, a grown woman, to do the same.
I was willing to cope with the messes, work, stress, and hassles of raising two kids, but the aggravation I dealt with, sharing life and a home with my ex... Every day I would fantasize about one day having my own place. A peaceful place where no one was stressing me out every day, hovering nearby ready to accuse me of things, or creating disgusting, filthy messes that they simply assumed I'd joyfully clean up with no thanks needed. Not to mention costing me money. Lots and lots of money.
One day, I thought.
Well now, I live with my boyfriend, but we don't live "together" in the way most couples do. He is an introvert, and while I am not necessarily one, I also treasure my space. Our arrangement is more like a man living in the large basement space (big bedroom and a full bathroom down there) like a roommate. He pays me a fixed amount for his part of the rent, and he spends most of his time in his room. I have my room upstairs, as do my sons. We share the common areas, but he doesn't hang out there as much as we do. (Just his preference.) And I don't want or expect him to be really involved with my sons beyond basic cordial interaction when they cross paths. What it's like really, is instead of me having to drive 10 minutes to "visit" him, I only have to go downstairs.
And I love it. He keeps his space clean and doesn't mess up the areas that I've taken responsibility for keeping clean. He doesn't report to me on every little thing he does, nor does he expect me to check in about every little thing. Hell, he doesn't even carry his cell phone, he leaves it at home, thinks of it more like a land line. (He is 60 years old, so...) Neither of us are all up in each other's business 24/7/365 like my ex was with me.
Honestly feel like I've got the best of both worlds.
Sonic seems to be living a hybrid LAT relationship. LAT relationships (living apart together) are not that uncommon. Sonic and her partner have just removed the commute time between households from the equation.
I've been in a LAT relationship about 6-7years now for a variety of reasons. MY GF and I live about 1hr apart. She lives in a big city. I live in a tiny town in the country. I enjoy my visits to the big city. She loves her time here in my small country town. We switch off and spend 3-4 days together at each others homes. Works well for us. Like all things it's not perfect. But neither is cohabitation.
Both of us are in our 60's and live alone. I am an introvert and don't mind the time to myself. The girlfriend would prefer to cohab, but does fine on her own too. We do talk about cohab in a place we buy together. We think a place that wasn't yours, or mine, but rather ours is the way to go. We feel we have some time yet to work out the details before we are no longer willing or able to commute to each other.
Cohab will be quite the adjustment for both of us. No doubt about it. I worry a tad and hope that it does not effect the very good relationship we have now. Time will tell where this goes, and how we do. We are both willing to give it our best shot. 110% in from each of us if we do this. Nothing less will do.
(Had to laugh about Sonic's BF's cellphone habits. I too never carried the infernal thing around for a lot of years. Had no desire to be tethered to the world instantly. Until all the pay phones were removed from the earth. Plus my rural lifestyle has also forced me to carry the darn thing. GF would get mad when I would leave it in my truck for 2-3 days. So I do keep it with me now.)
I've lived alone for the past 3 1/2 years. There are things I like about it and things I don't. I would prefer sharing my life with someone BUT admit I would need my own space to escape to from time to time. I think most people feel that way. Men have their Man Caves, women have their Sewing Rooms. Sews is a four-letter word for me though, so I would prefer a Library thank you very much!
In my past experience, the woman has the entire house and "allows" the man to sometimes have a man cave if there is room in the house. Often the guy is banished to some closet sized space to have his hobbies, TV, stereo, computer, etc. I have seen it with friends, and it is usually in the basement, the least desirable part of the house. I converted one of the bedrooms, into my "office", which was where I kept my stuff, and hobby items, so I was one of the lucky ones. Now that I live alone, my "stuff" is anywhere I want to keep it. Yes, if I were to live with a woman again, I would adjust my lifestyle, and living space to a degree.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
