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If you wrote to Dear Abby (or another advice columnist) about a rough situation between you and a friend, and Dear Abby answered, saying that you were well-meaning but stupid, and your friend was at fault, would you forward the column to the friend?
I have had a mess with a friend (if we're still friends). I tried to be helpful, and the friend is honest and well-intentioned, but the friend has basically ignored all of the damage to me that the friend has caused.
I wrote to a national advice column and received the response described above. The comments that readers made, on the website, are even harsher: that I was a complete idiot for trying to help, and the friend is evil.
What's your motive for sending it? Would it solve anything, help mend the relationship, what?
Or do you just want to say "I told you so" to your 'friend'?
Personally I would not send it.
What's your motive for sending it? Would it solve anything, help mend the relationship, what?
Or do you just want to say "I told you so" to your 'friend'?
Personally I would not send it.
The friend owes me a lot of money and nonpayment is the damage caused. The advice says that the situation is no joke and that I should pursue the friend to recover payment.
The advice column would just show an impartial (I think) view of the situation, and maybe the friend would realize what a mess this is.
Well, you certainly left a LOT of important information out of your first post. You are the only one who can decide if the friendship is worth more to you than the money is. If I were in your situation I think I'd consider the 'friendship' over and take the necessary action to get my money back, but I'm kind of a hard*** that way.
You really have been vague in giving details, so this is based on little information.
Someone who doesn't pay a debt isn't going to take it more seriously by showing them a column with people backing you. Most people loathe borrowing money and want to pay it back as quickly as possible. But there are some who view it as their money the minute it hits their hand and no matter what you do, you're not likely to get it back. This is why I tell people that if you're going to loan someone money, do so with the expectation that you'll never see it again. If that's okay with you - then lend them the money.
You're planning on doing something to make yourself feel better, but it's not going to move the issue forward in having you repaid.
Last edited by MPowering1; 04-02-2020 at 08:38 AM..
My experience with people that don't pay back... They don't care. And more likely they'd use that article to not pay up because you made them look bad or whatever
I don't know how much you lended to the person, but you could see about taking them to small claims court.
My experience with people that don't pay back... They don't care. And more likely they'd use that article to not pay up because you made them look bad or whatever
I don't know how much you lended to the person, but you could see about taking them to small claims court.
That's what I was going to suggest too.
If you have to send this friend ANYTHING, send him/her a letter saying they have to such and such a date to pay you the money, or you will take them to small claims court.
If you care more about the money than the friend, and you'e already tried talking to the friend to no avail, then small claims court is the next step. Not a forwarded advice column.
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