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I was visiting family this 4th of July and went to a friend's barbecue. My mom repeatedly asked me if I needed to bring something to grill. I'm 39 and not once have I been asked to do that nor have I ever seen someone do that (including my parents). Is that a thing? Did it used to be a thing? I've found I can't seem to keep up with etiquette since I turned 30. (A whole 'nother thread!)
Always ask the host. "What can I bring?" If they say "nothing" bring something to share, dessert, sides, ....
I've been to these "bring something for the grill" parties---however, I agree it's rude to not share what you brought! Even if everyone just gets a small bit of what you brought, you gotta put it out for everyone--unless its a veggie dog, then that's all you.
We always ask what we can bring. If we are told nothing, we will bring some kind of dessert.
I find this interesting. Do you feel this way just about cookouts, or all meal-centric parties in general?
My feeling is that if the host says to bring nothing, I have to respect that. To bring something against their wishes would be rude. Some hosts put a great deal of thought into planning their menu, and bringing something that they would feel obligated to serve would throw off their "vision" for what they have planned.
Yeah, I know that sounds like a bit much when it comes to cookouts, but it's not impossible that a host could have planned a particular menu and really doesn't want anyone bringing anything.
I find this interesting. Do you feel this way just about cookouts, or all meal-centric parties in general?
My feeling is that if the host says to bring nothing, I have to respect that. To bring something against their wishes would be rude. Some hosts put a great deal of thought into planning their menu, and bringing something that they would feel obligated to serve would throw off their "vision" for what they have planned.
Yeah, I know that sounds like a bit much when it comes to cookouts, but it's not impossible that a host could have planned a particular menu and really doesn't want anyone bringing anything.
I agree with this and I go to parties where the same people do this all the time.
The result is too much food and then the host's food goes uneaten.
A potluck is usually billed as such, otherwise I bring wine or beer.
Yes, its a "thing" and its not new. IME just about everyone at least offer to bring something. The hosts can certainly respond that its not necessary, but it is courteous to at least ASK! Just not OK to show up at someone else's house empty-handed unless specifically directed to. I don't entertain much but I can't recall any guests invited to my house who didn't offer. Reading that you don't understand the common courtesy aspect of this (your mother obviously knows about it which is why she kept asking you) is appalling.
I've always known to bring something to eat and drink but I've never seen one where you brought meat to grill. As mentioned, I never saw my parents do it and we.wemt to lots of barbecues.
I'll always ask what to bring and if they say nothing it's usually a salad or dessert and I always bring beer because I know what I like.
My feeling is that if the host says to bring nothing, I have to respect that. To bring something against their wishes would be rude. Some hosts put a great deal of thought into planning their menu, and bringing something that they would feel obligated to serve would throw off their "vision" for what they have planned.
Yeah, I know that sounds like a bit much when it comes to cookouts, but it's not impossible that a host could have planned a particular menu and really doesn't want anyone bringing anything.
We don't have a "vision" for a casual cookout, but we do suggest people bring their own protein (or whatever) specifically for the grill for the most part because of all the various food preferences people have these days.
There's only so much room on the grill to accommodate everyone's preferences AND to be able to cook everything within a reasonable amount of time.
And we have so much other food we provide that it's never a matter of just being stingy or whatever.
We always ask if we can bring anything. If the answer is no, we still bring some sort of hostess gift, wine, flowers, one time we brought an outdoor game for the kids/family to play.
We always ask if we can bring anything. If the answer is no, we still bring some sort of hostess gift, wine, flowers, one time we brought an outdoor game for the kids/family to play.
Yeah, that is something I'll do. My mother said never to show up to a party empty handed, but I try to make it clear that it's something for them to enjoy after everyone's gone home.
Never show up to a party empty handed unless you know the hosts really really well and they have been to your house in the past as well.
Take something whether it's a bottle of wine, some beer or soda, chips, cookies, a veggie tray....even if the host says bring nothing
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