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So I've a friend (M,32) who's been seeing this woman (F,28) for a few years now. Me and a couple other friends have been suspecting his girlfriend's been cheating because she spends A LOT of time with one of his single (and generically attractive) male friends, but he thinks nothing of it. She's always bragging about the time she spends with him and he does the same. I get that I don't know the guy too well but I'll judge as I please tyvm.
He told all of us that he was "jealous" he wasn't home with them while his girl and his best friend were alone at the house swimming together. I was a lil shocked because I don't trust anyone like that. Like it's fine if my friends or neighbors wanted to stop by for a bit once in a while but not some guy who's there all the damn time. I don't know who wouldn't suspect anything.
His mom and us have been trying to warn him to not get involved w/ her but he went ahead and got engaged and had kids (2 in addition to the 4 she already had) w/ her so now what?
It's really no big deal to me, I'm just wondering what you guys would think if your spouse/girl/boyfriend were doing anything similar.
As someone that has male and female friends , I'd continue to be faithful to my mate while valueing the friends I have.
My genuine friends are protective and respectfull.
I can't imagine being misconstrued as a harlot for having legitimate friends.
Behavior being consistent in healthy boundaries.
What gives you evidence that this lady is
Entertaining inappropriately ? Is she groping him? Necking on the couch? Having sleep overs?
Nothing you vagueiy inferred is concrete.
Sometimes people aren't who they seem to be.
Trust can be broken.
IMHO, someone spending time at the house and just swimming in the same pool together wouldn't automatically signal "cheating" to me. Your friend could very easily come home at any moment so they must not be too concerned about it either way. Now if they went off together somewhere where your friend wouldn't be able to find them, that's different. That would be deliberately evasive.
Your friend might be jealous of the time these two have to spend in each other's company. Might have nothing to do with whether they're cheating or not. Based on how you described this you sound as though you don't trust very many people very far yourself OP. All that really shows it that you and your friend are different.
As someone that has male and female friends , I'd continue to be faithful to my mate while valueing the friends I have.
My genuine friends are protective and respectfull.
I can't imagine being misconstrued as a harlot for having legitimate friends.
Behavior being consistent in healthy boundaries.
What gives you evidence that this lady is
Entertaining inappropriately ? Is she groping him? Necking on the couch? Having sleep overs?
Nothing you vagueiy inferred is concrete.
He has slept over. Plus she's by nature proven to be a very cruel and manipulative person. She's purposely gotten a girl fired by accusing her of stealing, that which was never proven in any way (it's right to work state, you could be fired for no reason if the employer decided). She talks trash about everybody, even an awkward but kind autistic worker who was bullied by her until she just quit out of frustration.
He has slept over. Plus she's by nature proven to be a very cruel and manipulative person. She's purposely gotten a girl fired by accusing her of stealing, that which was never proven in any way (it's right to work state, you could be fired for no reason if the employer decided). She talks trash about everybody, even an awkward but kind autistic worker who was bullied by her until she just quit out of frustration.
Which has little to nothing to do with the situation. You just seem to want to paint this woman in a bad light...so you're piling on the negatives even though they are not really relevant. He's been seeing the woman for years. He must have some idea what she's like and still chooses to do so. I suggest MYOB.
IMHO, someone spending time at the house and just swimming in the same pool together wouldn't automatically signal "cheating" to me. Your friend could very easily come home at any moment so they must not be too concerned about it either way. Now if they went off together somewhere where your friend wouldn't be able to find them, that's different. That would be deliberately evasive.
Your friend might be jealous of the time these two have to spend in each other's company. Might have nothing to do with whether they're cheating or not. Based on how you described this you sound as though you don't trust very many people very far yourself OP. All that really shows it that you and your friend are different.
I don't think it's normal for people who're in relationships to hang out with people of the opposite sex alone as much as they do. Even if the person you're dating says they trust you, it's still disrespectful. If you're really considering your spouse's feelings you'll try to avoid spending too much time w/ someone of the opposite sex so as to not raise suspicion. It's common sense.
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