Would this bother you or would you cut him some slack? (person, meeting)
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I have a friend who I haven't seen since March due to the pandemic. We were texting the past couple of weeks and decided to set a date to go for a walk and catch up. Him and I text maybe every other week, sometimes a little more spread out than that. We aren't best friends but I would say he is a good friend that during normal times we would hang out once a month and grab dinner. We had made plans to go for a walk today since it was going to be so nice outside and we live in a cold climate city.
Yesterday, we were texting and he was confirming if we would be doing our walk today (Saturday). We had confirmed where we could meet and what trail we wanted to do. We didn't agree on a time but said let's shoot for the early afternoon, some time after 12, and that Saturday morning we could confirm a time. So this morning (Saturday) around 9AM I send him a text asking him if 1:30 works for him. He didn't respond and then at 10:30am it was announced that Biden was elected president.
I being a democrat that voted for him was super happy and glued to my TV. My friend is too. However, it's now 6PM where I am at and I never heard back from my friend on meeting up,. He never responded to me. I now look on Instagram and I aww he shared an Instagram story showing that he was out and about hanging around where all the people are celebrating Biden's win (obviously he also voted for Biden).
I am bothered that there was a lack of respect here in that we had plans and he completely just ignored it all. Now I get it if he rather go celebrate than meet up with me, but the least that could have been done was send a text back saying "Hey can we reschedule? I kind of want to celebrate." And I totally would have respected that and would have been fine with that.
Do you think I should cut him some slack because it's such a unique day and major event that perhaps he just got enthralled in it all? Or would you be upset?
I find it hard to believe as excited as one would be about the win (I mean I was crazy excited) that you would completely forget that you had plans with someone?
Being blown off without a simple request to reschedule would bother me, but how I handle my "botherment" is up to me. The reason why he left me hanging doesn't really matter unless he was involved in an emergency. I'd probably call and ask him why he didn't let me know, and possibly include a mild dig (depending on the person) that I turned down some other invitation in order to honor the plans we'd already made.
Basically, open up the opportunity to apologize. I'm not going to waste too much energy trying to second guess why it happened. Then I'd accept his apology and forget it. Once is just that...once. More than once is a pattern worth paying more attention to.
Last edited by Parnassia; 11-07-2020 at 06:02 PM..
Yes, that would have bothered me. And, I would let him know, although I am also happy enough today to forgive a lot. He should have invited you along if he wanted to go out and celebrate.
Personally, I think he was rude to blow you off. I'd forgive the rudeness of changing plans (after all, a presidential election only comes around once every four years), but not the fact that he didn't even bother to tell you. I would just not bring it up, at all. Even if you choose to continue texting him, I just wouldn't mention it. If he offers to reschedule, you can be gracious and accept, without making an issue of it. If he doesn't . . . well, then, I'd find a new walking partner.
Do you think I should cut him some slack because it's such a unique day and major event that perhaps he just got enthralled in it all? Or would you be upset?
I find it hard to believe as excited as one would be about the win (I mean I was crazy excited) that you would completely forget that you had plans with someone?
While, I would be a little annoyed that he didn't respond back to me and say that his plans had changed, having been extremely involved in politics (in my younger days) I could picture someone being so excited that they completely forgot. IMHO, cut him some slack.
I think the real problem is the texting. I think instead of texting him you should have phoned him to speak to him directly, and I think when you didn't get a response back to your text that you should have phoned him then too. Texting isn't proper communication and it's lazy. So is there a reason why the two of you don't actually talk to each other on the phone?
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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkertinker
I have a friend who I haven't seen since March due to the pandemic. We were texting the past couple of weeks and decided to set a date to go for a walk and catch up. Him and I text maybe every other week, sometimes a little more spread out than that. We aren't best friends but I would say he is a good friend that during normal times we would hang out once a month and grab dinner. We had made plans to go for a walk today since it was going to be so nice outside and we live in a cold climate city.
Yesterday, we were texting and he was confirming if we would be doing our walk today (Saturday). We had confirmed where we could meet and what trail we wanted to do. We didn't agree on a time but said let's shoot for the early afternoon, some time after 12, and that Saturday morning we could confirm a time. So this morning (Saturday) around 9AM I send him a text asking him if 1:30 works for him. He didn't respond and then at 10:30am it was announced that Biden was elected president.
I being a democrat that voted for him was super happy and glued to my TV. My friend is too. However, it's now 6PM where I am at and I never heard back from my friend on meeting up,. He never responded to me. I now look on Instagram and I aww he shared an Instagram story showing that he was out and about hanging around where all the people are celebrating Biden's win (obviously he also voted for Biden).
I am bothered that there was a lack of respect here in that we had plans and he completely just ignored it all. Now I get it if he rather go celebrate than meet up with me, but the least that could have been done was send a text back saying "Hey can we reschedule? I kind of want to celebrate." And I totally would have respected that and would have been fine with that.
Do you think I should cut him some slack because it's such a unique day and major event that perhaps he just got enthralled in it all? Or would you be upset?
I find it hard to believe as excited as one would be about the win (I mean I was crazy excited) that you would completely forget that you had plans with someone?
I vote for slack. Yesterday was huge and many were overtaken by the emotions of it. I say that as someone who was PO’d at the DNC for nominating him (but still voted for him.) With that in mind, I would not pick this hill to die on.
Also, since one of the “texting is evil” people decided to show up , I would text dude and say we both got lost in yesterday and see if y’all would be down to catch-up another day.
I am cutting him some slack. An hour after I posted this thread, he texted me and apologized saying that as soon as Biden won he hit the streets. So looks like his emotions went overtime. This is also the first time he has ever done this. Because he reached out on his own accord and was apologetic, I don't have an issue with it anymore. However, since he is the one that did not go through with the plans, I will let him be the one that takes the charge of rescheduling.
As for the person criticizing about using text, wtf? Haha.
Thanks everyone.
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, I would text dude and say we both got lost in yesterday and see if y’all would be down to catch-up another day.
