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Maybe this is strictly a condo/apartment issue, but when we are reading by the pool (DH and I) our neighbor comes out and starts chatting us up.
He does not pick up on "social cues" and just begins his monologue which is usually all about him and he interrupts constantly if you do try to engage. He'll sit down and just talk and talk.
He's a very nice guy, helpful and all that. DH is willing to engage with him for awhile, but then he gets tired of it too. I used to, but when this guy did not appreciate or listen to anything I'd say, I just started to keep my head down and keep reading, after initially saying "hello". DH puts his book down and engages, but just briefly. Then he told a white lie: "This is a library book that's due soon, so I have to get back to it."
I have an overactive guilt complex, so not sure if I'm being rude, but geez. If I approach someone reading, I just say hi, or ask them how they are. Only if THEY keep the convo going, would I stay and talk. Otherwise I respect that they are reading and let them be.
I'm feeling slightly bad, so wondered what others do in this instance.
I haven’t had this problem but I would chat for a second and then say “well, I’m going to get back to my book now”… and do just that!
I've used the library book excuse but another that seems to work is "I'm at a critical spot in the story and sitting on tenterhooks. I'd love to catch up, but could we do it after I've found out who done it?"
I have on occasion worn my small earphones while I’m reading in public places to muffle the noise of chatter and to signal I’m not open for conversation. I don’t ignore anyone, I might wave or nod but I don’t remove earphones.
I have on occasion worn my small earphones while I’m reading in public places to muffle the noise of chatter and to signal I’m not open for conversation. I don’t ignore anyone, I might wave or nod but I don’t remove earphones.
You said that he's a nice guy and helpful. I'd give up my book for a while and chat with him. I sometimes read on my front porch and if someone sees me and stops to chat I welcome it.
I know you said the guy monopolizes the conversation and that's certainly annoying. I know a few people like that but living in a community setting, those few minutes of chatting with a neighbor can go a long way in making life run smoothly. You're in a public place that people use for socializing so I can see where he thinks he isn't doing anything wrong. Some people with his personality traits are really just insecure and socially awkward.
I would have a really hard time ignoring a neighbor who wanted to chat. We never know what's going on in someone's life and sometimes people just need someone to talk to. My book can wait.
You said that he's a nice guy and helpful. I'd give up my book for a while and chat with him. I sometimes read on my front porch and if someone sees me and stops to chat I welcome it.
I know you said the guy monopolizes the conversation and that's certainly annoying. I know a few people like that but living in a community setting, those few minutes of chatting with a neighbor can go a long way in making life run smoothly. You're in a public place that people use for socializing so I can see where he thinks he isn't doing anything wrong. Some people with his personality traits are really just insecure and socially awkward.
I would have a really hard time ignoring a neighbor who wanted to chat. We never know what's going on in someone's life and sometimes people just need someone to talk to. My book can wait.
I agree.
Before the virus hit, my husband and I used to go to the lobby of our building where they would have a copy of the newspaper. Plus, there's a machine that dispenses hot drinks. I get hot chocolate while he gets coffee.
Many times I've had the newspaper holding it up only to have to put it down when I hear someone greeting us. I just put it down and have a conversation with them. My husband does the same thing. Next thing we know, we're all sitting down together having a nice time.
That said, if I see someone who is really engrossed in what they are doing, I just walk on by. If they look up from what they are doing, I will wave and say something like "Hi, Mary!" Unless Mary indicates that she would welcome conversation, I just go on my way.
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