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First off, many of you have been so supportive the past couple of weeks. I've relied more on CD than my own social network off line. Thank you so much. My next dilemma relates to recent events.
I planned to go to Jersey to be with my folks this coming holiday. There is no plan to actually celebrate Christmas, rather just be together for our first holiday without my brother. When I arrived home last Monday/Tuesday, I came home to a flooded basement. Last night our pipes froze in the kitchen and basement bathroom (fortunately, none bursted [sp?]). We had the plumber out today, have it all under control and need to keep a serious eye out for the rest of the winter; using space heaters, more insultation in the crawl space, and keeping the water constantly dripping, etc.
Besides the fact that I'm wiped out, I'm concerned about leaving my home for days during these cold snaps. We don't really have anyone within a 15 minute car ride to check the home daily. Even if we did, I would still worry. But, I hate the idea of leaving my folks alone for the holiday. They're divorced, but we planned to spend it together just the same. If I'm not there, my dad would most likely end up alone. He tends to isolate himself. Mom has grandma and her dh. My mom has expressed that she needs me, but with all the house problems she's not comfortable with me coming down for several days.
Do I take my chances and go? Maybe I should leave my dh home and go alone? Or, do I just take care of my business and let them fend for themselves? Maybe I could find a friend to house sit. Sorry I keep starting all these threads. This is just all new to me. What would you do?
Braunwyn, do you have house sitters in your area? They're commonm where I live because residency is seasonal here. You need to decide what is best, but I really think you should be with your family right now. Especially for the first 2 or 3 years of holidays (speaking from personal experience). A house sitter will check on your home generally twice a day while you're gone and most of them are licensed, bonded, and insured. They're also reasonably priced.
See if you can get a friend to house sit, but if you are really concerned something may go terribly wrong, you should probably stay home. I know it's hard considering the recent passing of your brother, but you do need your home to stay in good shape for the long term.
Is there any possibility of having two dinners on two different days one for your dad and another for your mom at your own house and have them come to you?
Is there any possibility of having two dinners on two different days one for your dad and another for your mom at your own house and have them come to you?
This is what I was going to suggest as well. Or finding a house sitter if you wanted to take the trip to Jersey as some others have suggested.
Good luck, and here's hoping the holiday season goes by without anything else happening...you've had a very rough couple of weeks
If there are not house sitters you may try asking someone's babysitter. I used to check on the house and feed the cats at my art teachers house when I was a kid. They would go to the UK a lot and did not like to leave the house or kennel the cats.
My mom would be willing to come to me. It's a good 6-7 hour drive. I actually think that would be the best thing for the family. My brother never had the chance to see my home (purchased in April), so his vibe isn't here. I can practically smell him at my mom's house. Any way, my grandma turned 92 this month. She can't do that kind of travel and my mom can't leave her alone. She might be able to go to my aunt's place, tho.
My dad is a problem. He's separated from his wife, but they intend to remain married (long and stupid story). I could try to call her to see if she'd be willing to take him over the holiday. He has a hard time driving due to vertigo and general nuttyness (poor guy grew up in an orphange and has had a tough life). He's also afraid of leaving his cat and he's frankly lazy. He'd rather wallow in pity than trouble himself to get up here. At some point I'm going to have to relocate him to MA. With that said, he is very concerned about my home as well. While he can be a challenge, he tends to be practical about this kind of day-to-day stuff and doesn't like to fool around with it. Still, I don't want him being alone.
A house sitter seems like a reasonable option. How I will make the trip in one piece, I don't know. I haven't slowed down since this all started on the 6th. I need a break.
I have also developed a streak of white hair on the front side of my head. I always thought that was a myth. I read an article the other day about stress hormones that create free radicals in the folicle, which can travel the hair shaft and cause bleaching. Go figure.
I have also developed a streak of white hair on the front side of my head. I always thought that was a myth. I read an article the other day about stress hormones that create free radicals in the folicle, which can travel the hair shaft and cause bleaching. Go figure.
That's what beauty salons and hair dyes are for!
But seriously, a loved one's death WILL age you. Just take it one day at a time and hang in there!
My mom would be willing to come to me. It's a good 6-7 hour drive. I actually think that would be the best thing for the family. My brother never had the chance to see my home (purchased in April), so his vibe isn't here. I can practically smell him at my mom's house. Any way, my grandma turned 92 this month. She can't do that kind of travel and my mom can't leave her alone. She might be able to go to my aunt's place, tho.
My dad is a problem. He's separated from his wife, but they intend to remain married (long and stupid story). I could try to call her to see if she'd be willing to take him over the holiday. He has a hard time driving due to vertigo and general nuttyness (poor guy grew up in an orphange and has had a tough life). He's also afraid of leaving his cat and he's frankly lazy. He'd rather wallow in pity than trouble himself to get up here. At some point I'm going to have to relocate him to MA. With that said, he is very concerned about my home as well. While he can be a challenge, he tends to be practical about this kind of day-to-day stuff and doesn't like to fool around with it. Still, I don't want him being alone.
A house sitter seems like a reasonable option. How I will make the trip in one piece, I don't know. I haven't slowed down since this all started on the 6th. I need a break.
No matter what you do, just don't lose focus on taking care of you, too. I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing that I could snap my fingers and make it all work out for you ...
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