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I know many atheists don't want their kids involved in any kind of church or synagogue because it does not align with their personal beliefs. I can understand why the OP doesn't want to "suck up the attitude, get involved with a church". It's like asking someone who's Christian to suck up the attitude and join a Mosque or the local secular humanist organization. If it's not in alignment with your beliefs it's just not a good fit. I do think it might've helped the OP to ask these questions before they moved, but cest la vie! Maybe the job was just too good to turn down and it wouldn't have mattered anyway.
I think the commute from Blowing Rock could be workable if you could find a house there at your price point. Otherwise I would get involved in some non-religious organizations/meet-ups and see if you can make a go of it in Hickory. What kind of job does your husband have in Granite Falls?
Thank you poppydog. I definitely would not ever "suck it up". Thanks for understanding this and explaining it clearly to others.
Folks, I spent the largest part of my childhood in Catawba County and then attended Lenoir Rhyne. I have relatives there, including many friendships that stretch back 40 years.
The suggestions people are giving are simply NOT convenient. Plus, did no one look at the price range of houses the OP gave? That is going to put this family in more rural areas and those are the MOST conservative in western NC. Hickory proper is most likely going to be over-priced as well.
Social life in Hickory and Newton Conover is very much tied in with churches and/or synagogues. There is a very welcoming and active Jewish community in Hickory and St. Aloysius is a wonderful Catholic parish. I have friends who have made sure their kids are involved with church - especially so they can be part of a "youth group" - even if they themselves are either lapsed church/synagogue attenders or are agnostic. I can name you many doctors who have moved from elsewhere and although their personal beliefs are such that they are not committed church goers, they will attend in order to be part of the community and to make sure their kids are included.
There is no discrimination b/n catholics, jews, protestants and agnostics in Hickory. Outside the city, there may be. But seeing as how one of my close friends lives in Rock Barn and is agnostic, but takes her kids to Sunday School and youth group meetings, I just don't see that there is a big deal with all this. Why would anyone care if their kids get a religious background? You can't very well form your own opinions about what you do and don't believe re: religion until you have a background in it, now can you? If you learn the stuff and then reject it, at least you did so with a basis for making that decision (referring to children - adults have their opinions already, however they may have been formed).
And as for the towns in other counties . . .OTHER THAN DENVER (wh/ has many transplants) . . . no way, Jose, both for commuting (why DO an hour commute?????) and for finding situations where your kids are not gonna be left out if they don't participate in some sort of church or synagogue related activities.
There are a few spots I could recommend within a 30 min commute but the price point is above what the OP can afford.
This IS the South, yes. But I am SICK of the Bible Belt term. It is NOT that folks are all holy rollers . . . churches are SOCIAL GATHERING PLACES. Plus, churches do a lot for the community and for helping with such things as food pantries, they often sponsor large and active sports teams, Mother's Mornings out, underwrite day care programs for the elderly, etc. There are many volunteer opportunites - which leads to meeting people and fitting into the community.
My advice is - suck up the attitude, get involved with a church. I highly recommend St Luke's Methodist, as they have strong communty outreach programs . . . or Temple Beth Shalom. Attending St Aloysius will probably necessitate more of a catechetical commitment from at least one parent, as would Holy Trinity Lutheran, so I would not suggest them even tho I am very fond of both parishes.
People will welcome you with open arms, even if you frankly say upfront - we are not big church/synagogue goers but want our kids to have a church home. You can bet that the majority of folks you meet will NOT be affronted at all.
That is how you meet folks and get involved in Hickory. Sure, kids will meet other kids at school, but here's the thing: you want your children to make friends with others and people invite children to their own church's youth activities. It is a VERY common practice and I think a lovely one. In the summers, children may attend 3 or 4 different Vacation Bible school weeks b/c other children invited them, and church members are fine with that. They are not trying to indocrintate anyone - it is simply a good time for children and a way to spend time with friends in a safe environment.
Say my price point would be unlimited... what places could you recommend?
"I have friends who have made sure their kids are involved with church - especially so they can be part of a "youth group" - even if they themselves are either lapsed church/synagogue attenders or are agnostic. I can name you many doctors who have moved from elsewhere and although their personal beliefs are such that they are not committed church goers, they will attend in order to be part of the community and to make sure their kids are included.
But seeing as how one of my close friends lives in Rock Barn and is agnostic, but takes her kids to Sunday School and youth group meetings, I just don't see that there is a big deal with all this. Why would anyone care if their kids get a religious background? You can't very well form your own opinions about what you do and don't believe re: religion until you have a background in it, now can you? If you learn the stuff and then reject it, at least you did so with a basis for making that decision (referring to children - adults have their opinions already, however they may have been formed)."
THIS is the exact problem with this area. I am entitled to believe what I would like and pass that onto my children without someone else telling me what my children should or should not be exposed to. I don't need to be judged on what I believe nor do I need to feel like I could be excluded or my children could be excluded if we choose not to join a religious organization. It's this type of ridiculous attitude and response that actually bothers me the most about this area of the state. Maybe you should expose your child to Judiasm and let them be Jewish until they can decide for themselves that they want to reject it. That's literally what you are telling me to do with my children. If I want my children to be subjected to storytales, I will let them watch a Disney movie, not read the Bible.
From your post, it appears that you are looking for a place like NY, w/ its liberal politics and views, but w/ a lower cost of living and easier lifestyle and commute. You might want to think long and hard about buying a home w/ its potentially long-term commitment attached to it. The thing is (and I'm going to try to phrase this diplomatically but I know it's hard in writing where you can't hear intonation so posts can be misconstrued), NY's high cost of living is directly proportional to the liberal politics that increase gov't spending--and cause so many of us to need to relocate OUT of NY. Expecting a state to offer all the benefits of a relatively (to NY) conservative state but to not have the conservative politics that create that environment doesn't really make sense. And calling what some NC'ers call home as "scary" sure doesn't help the cause of NY'ers who hope to be accepted by the locals.
Perhaps continuing to rent is a more viable option until you really get a sense for the area and then decide if the place really matches your criteria.
Sorry, but since I've moved here Lincoln county has literally advertised around town that they are hosting a KKK rally and they also are home to the preacher who would like to put Gays in a concentration camp. While visiting Lincolnton, I have personally heard people both bash gays and Jews on each visit I have made. To me, this is all SCARY and I have no desire to associate with people in this area.
The OP doesn't sound very accepting or tolerating of anyone that doesn't align with her world view since she wants to move away from such people. That being said, she'd like it better in Chapel Hill or Asheville.
That's not accurate at all. Since I have been here, I have already been exposed to racial hate, antisemitism, and rampant homophobia. I feel that the area in general in not accepting or tolerating of people of different groups of people. My world view is love and peace and acceptance of all people for who they are...so yes if you don't align with my view of love, peace and acceptance, then I don't have any reason to tolerate you.
No, they really don't get it at all. They do mean well...
but many just can't seem to get from point A to point C without stopping at a church along the way.
Quote:
It's this type of ridiculous attitude and response that actually bothers me the most about this area of the state. Maybe you should expose your child to Judiasm and let them be Jewish until they can decide for themselves that they want to reject it. That's literally what you are telling me to do with my children.
ooh! I like that idea!
Just be sure it's real Judaism they teach and not what that guy on TCT does. Judaism 101
So far I have found towns within a somewhat reasonable distance but I really know nothing about how conservative/religious they are. Looking for any type of feedback or suggestionsnote, I am already aware I should stay the heck out of Lincoln County - that place scares me!)
Gastonia, Statesville, Mooresville, Denver, Taylorsville, Morganton, Valdese, Connelly Springs, Hildebran, Conover, Newton, Claremont, Granite Falls, Hudson, Sawmills, Lenoir.
Thanks in advance for any help you can offer!
Denver and the Sherrills Ford area are basically Lake Norman suburbs of Charlotte. In those areas, you will find a mix of conservative locals as well as like minded transplants from the North East and/or the Midwest. Both of these areas are just under 30 miles from Hickory. The Mountain Island Lake area of Charlotte is slightly farther away, but it too would have more transplants like yourself.
One last suggestion. You should really re-post this in the Charlotte area forum. I've seen suggestions of towns like Boone and Asheville here with virtually no consideration of the fact that your employment situation is in Hickory. In your situation, the NorthWest suburbs of Charlotte would be your best and closest option. Good Luck!!!
^ urbancharlotte, you need to read the OP. The employment situation is in Granite Falls, not Hickory. Boone is just as close as Denver or Sherrills Ford.
I am entitled to believe what I would like and pass that onto my children without someone else telling me what my children should or should not be exposed to. I don't need to be judged on what I believe nor do I need to feel like I could be excluded or my children could be excluded if we choose not to join a religious organization. It's this type of ridiculous attitude and response that actually bothers me the most about this area of the state. Maybe you should expose your child to Judiasm and let them be Jewish until they can decide for themselves that they want to reject it. That's literally what you are telling me to do with my children. If I want my children to be subjected to storytales, I will let them watch a Disney movie, not read the Bible.
This I understand - until you get to the bold part. That's the intolerant part.
I am not a bible beater and have not been to church in a couple of years, but I got to tell you, complaining that a place is "to christian" kind of makes you look bad. I will opine that you will NEVER BE HAPPY in North Carolina.
I can think of a million things worse than "to Christian"
Lose the victim mentality and put some effort into getting to know your neighbors. I bet a bunch of them do not attend church regularly and some may even be amused to meet a real live Jew.
NC is never going to be NY. Ain't gonna happen. (Thank God...oops, I guess that brands me, too!)
C'mon, give us a break!
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I am literally dumbfounded by this response...
note, I am already aware I should stay the heck out of Lincoln County - that place scares me!)
