Teen cell phone advice (renting, insurance, home)

[calitova]

My 14 year old son has either lost or destroyed 4 cell phones in the past year. (Today, a friend supposedly pushed him into the pool with his phone in his pocket). The first couple of times, it was covered by the insurance, and the last phone we happened to have on hand. Now we're to the point where a new phone would have to be purchased out of pocket.

He has money saved up from gifts, working for the neighbors, etc. So I could make him pay for his next phone - but I don't think the message will really get across until he has to do without a phone (this would destroy his social life, since apparently teens have forgotten how to speak and now communicate only by texting). The problem is, there are times when I need to get hold of him. I have heard that that there are some phones where parents can limit the usage by preprogramming the numbers that the child is allowed to call. Does anyone have experience with this type of phone? Any other suggestions? He is for the most part a good kid, and works hard in school, but I am at my wit's end with this particular bit of irresponsibility.

Thanks for any advice!

[HokieFan]

Get him a basic, cheapo prepaid minutes phone without texting and data abilities. The phone can only be used for calling.

If he can manage to not lose or destroy that phone for 6 months, then maybe he can purchase his next phone with the upgrades.

[NovaDunn]

I'm not sure what happened to the other phones, but if this time wasn't really his fault, I might just have him pay for it himself. Maybe he really was trying to take care of this one. How did he act when he told you about the phone? If he was feeling bad about it rather than laughing then I think he gets he needs to step up & be more responsible. Getting pushed into a pool is actually rather believable. I've seen this exact thing ruin countless cell phones. Maybe whoever pushed him should chip for the new phone or maybe he has an extra one at home? (That suggestion would probably tell you if the story is real). Either way, my guess is that if he has to come up with the money himself he'll be extra careful with it and probably let whoever pushed him in the pool know that his phone was ruined & it cost him (his) money to replace it. In general boys are tougher on phones... accidentally sitting on them & busting the screen, falling out of a pocket while playing sports, laying it on the sidelines to avoid pocket-related damage means it gets stepped on or heat/sun damage. If he's a good kid I wouldn't "destroy" his social life by limiting phone usage/isolating him... better for him to stay connected to his friends who are probably good kids too (hanging out by the pool is better than a lot of other things they could be doing). In my experience, just him shelling out his own money will set the tone.

[CaliTerp07]

Might want to post this to the parenting forum instead of the NoVA forum

[calitova]

Good point, I'm probably in the wrong forum! But I do appreciate the opinions! It's good to hear that he's not the only one who seems to destroy them so easily. Two were left on the school bus (this doesn't count the other two times he lost them on the bus and then got them back); then he stepped on one, and now the pool. We wouldn't be upset about this one if it weren't for the first three....

[ReblTeen84]

I can't say much, except that since i've had a cell phone, I've never completely totaled one. Had them replaced by Verizon due to phone issues, but never because I broke it. Have dropped a few and left pretty good marks on them, but they've always worked like a charm afterwards. Make him pay for it and maybe he'll treat it better. Then again, I don't entirely see why teens need cell phones either. I didn't get mine until after I was 18 and in college and paid for it myself!

[5stones]

Originally Posted by HokieFan

Get him a basic, cheapo prepaid minutes phone without texting and data abilities. The phone can only be used for calling.

If he can manage to not lose or destroy that phone for 6 months, then maybe he can purchase his next phone with the upgrades.

Great Suggestion.

I have 2 teens with phones for over 4 years now and they have not lost or destroyed any. ( ithough have washed 2 in the washing machine!)

We have an old flip phone...no keyboard etc... that we keep on hand in case something happens...so far I am the only one who has had to use it.

4 phone in one year...yes he needs to learn a lesson on responsiblity or it will always be someones elses fault etc...
BUT...you are probably on a plan so getting him a pay for minutes phone will cost you extra money etc...
get the cheapest phone your plan has (probably still $50.00) and make him pay for it. Believe me texting without a keyboard is not fun.

Also see if a friend or neighbor has an old phone you could use for 6mo (I bet soemone does)
The wireless company just switches the number to that phone. (we had to do that a few times)
Verizon will also let you set he hours of usuage...like I have my 14 year olds turn off at 10pm-6am. (She got cuaght texting in the middle of the night...)

so cheap old phone (they are pretty durable...mine is over 8 years old and still works like a trooper) and limits on the time he can use it...
That should hopefully let him see you are serious...AND no-more NICE phones! When the upgrade is due...only the free phones!

Good luck!!

OH...forgot to say try the rice in bag trick for a few days...then plug in to charge, mine took about a week of drying out but now it works!

[calitova]

LOL - the cheap old phone is the one that just went in the pool. It's sitting in a bowl of rice as we speak

He fessed up that he actually jumped in the pool and forgot the phone was in his pocket. I guess the good news is he actually does seem upset and realizes he messed up this time.

We decided to go with a cheapie phone from Target. It looks as if it will go onto our monthly plan (otherwise we would have bought the minutes). He's paying for it and will also pay for the portion of our monthly plan that is related to his costs. I'll check into whether AT&T has the option to limit texting.

The weird thing is, he's had a phone for 4 years and we never really had problems until this year.

[kevinm]

No one "needs" a cell phone. Enough of the helicopter parents that must constantly be tethered to their kids. My parents heard from me twice a day. When I left in the morning and when I go home at night.

[sjankis630]

you know your own kid. Is there a possibility he is breaking/losing the phones on purpose in order to hopefully get a better phone?